#1
What's up UG.
This is just a little song i made up today... I think it's pretty good. The story the song tells is pretty clear if you listen closely to the lyrics, i'll state the message/story of the song in the end. The song is mostly screaming, but the chorus is made up completely of singing and just a bit of screaming (got the idea from Atreyu.)

any lyrics between asterisks are sung. otherwise, they're screamed.

--

(guitar intro, then verse one)
YYYAAAAAWWWWW
So there you are again,
You decided to take the short way home tonight.
A big mistake on your part, but a benefit to mine.
All this time I've watched you, feeling energized.
Everything about youuuuu

(drum fill, then guitar riff, then pre-chorus)
I finally caught you alone,
nobody's around,
Finally, I CAN...

(explodes into chorus)
*No one needs to see these ties I will ensue between you and me*
*and i know you don't expect it, I'm there waiting, be there waiting*
shut the **** up already, I'm not giving you a choice
*should have taken the long way home, the long way home, the long way home*

(drum fill, then the sound of walking footsteps, and another set of footsteps fading in that are considerably faster, noise of a fist hitting a body, noise of a body dropping, female scream that starts off loud but then gets muffled, guitar riff fades in, then drums, then verse 2)

What's going on?
how could this be happening?
Am I the only one? is this what god planned out for me?
just let me get home.
just one more chance to come home safe
please, I'm begging you, I'm begging you, I'm begging you

(drum fill, then guitar riff, then pre-chorus)
I finally caught you alone,
nobody's around,
Finally I can, Finally I can, Finally I can, RAAAGGHH

(chorus)
*No one needs to see these ties I will ensue between you and me*
*and i know you don't expect it, I'm there waiting, be there waiting*
shut the **** up already, I'm not giving you a choice
*should have taken the long way home, the long way home, the long way home*
Let me finish you, don't ever forget what I taught you tonight
*next time take the long way home, the long way home, the long way home*

(guitar Outro)

--

The song is about a woman who's been stalked by a guy for a very long time, and one day when she decides to take the short way home, he decides to rape her. Verse one, the chorus, and the pre-chorus are sung as if it were from his perspective. Verse 2 is sung from the woman's perspective.

I wrote this song because i wanted to highlight the brutality and horror of rape through song, and if you hear the guitar riffs and melody you will agree with me when I say that it is quite a haunting song.

criticism for criticism, plz =)

EDIT: added guitar outro.
Epiphone: Les paul Custom SB
Line Six Spider III 15
70$ wal-mart brand acoustic

Quote by black amendment
You're awesome, dude.
Last edited by tsoyguitar at Aug 20, 2008,
#3
very good song. would sound good with a clean verse and a heavy pre-chorus and chorus, like a metallica song. do you mind if i write some riffs for your song?
Gear
Ibanez RG2EX2
Epiphone Les Paul
Fender Strat
Homemade EVH
Marshall JCM 800 Combo

Quote by freshtunes
its not so much that i feel guilty about masturbating, its the things that i masturbate to that make me feel guilty.