this song has a small lyric line and focuses more on the music.

I tried two new things,
one, to write a 5+ minute song that isn't boring (hopefully :confused
and two, to throw a transition in the song at a weird place and have it work (hopefully....)

i didn't tab out the drums yet, it kinda sounds cool without them but I'll definitely add some because it will make the song flow better. but for now, i would like to know if the two things i mentioned before worked. other criticism is appreciated also.

crit 4 crit


EDIT: i realized there was a bar missing and i changed the sounds of the guitars.
Police were called to a daycare where a three-year-old was resisting a rest.
Last edited by dontbestupid47 at Aug 21, 2008,
Alright first off, there are a ton of cool riffs in here. albeit stuff I usually wouldn't listen to and never really write myself, but well written all the same. As you said, drums will definitely help move this piece along. Without drums, all the transitions are kind of jarring. My favorite part of the song was the piano at the end, and its perfect how you have it. Moderation is the key with that sort of thing and you pulled it off. The transition, surprisingly, worked well enough. Again, drums are going to obviously help that. I'll be able to crit this better once you have a drum and possibly bass track going. Let me know once you do and I'll definitely give you a better crit.