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#2
I just scream at them. They usually never call back after that.
None are more hopelessly enslaved than those who falsely believe they are free.
#7
My last caller, I was telling them about how my dad was in 'nam and he had his golden watch that was passed down to him by his great grandfather. And when my dad came home, he had his right leg cut off but the rest was fine. He also managed to hide the watch in his ass and then finally hand it down to me.

And then I tell them that I'm off to Iraq next week, and at this point he hung up. Bastards.
#8
one time i had one call while i was playing halo with some friends and even though i didn't recognize the number (called my cell phone for ****'s sake) anyway i answer and dude goes into his whole sales routine/ ploy and asks if i have a credit card and without even thinking i reply "well i had one but it was stolen and used to buy child porn" and the dude just stutters a few times and finally says "well uhh i'm sorry to hear that" and hangs up. me and my friends laughed for so long after that
#10
My friends dad said he would change his internet service provider with one of them if they could guess what song he was playing on guitar. So he put the phone on loudspeaker got his acoustic guitar and started playing some led zep riffs for about 5 mins and the guy couldnt guess what riffs he had played. So he said it's unacceptable that you don't know what riffs I'm playing therefore I cannot change my internet service provider to your service lol.
Quote by thegreensquall
ok so one time i was totally wanking and then my mom walked in and my cat was in my room... she knocked first so i grabbed my cat and put it on my lap and started petting it to cover up but then i jizzed on my cat..
Last edited by nikhil101 at Aug 21, 2008,
#12
Quote by sum_ugly_man
My last caller, I was telling them about how my dad was in 'nam and he had his golden watch that was passed down to him by his great grandfather. And when my dad came home, he had his right leg cut off but the rest was fine. He also managed to hide the watch in his ass and then finally hand it down to me.

And then I tell them that I'm off to Iraq next week, and at this point he hung up. Bastards.



Pulp Fiction reference?
Quote by thegreensquall
ok so one time i was totally wanking and then my mom walked in and my cat was in my room... she knocked first so i grabbed my cat and put it on my lap and started petting it to cover up but then i jizzed on my cat..
#13
This one huy called and asked if he can come to my house to survey somethin. i said it was fine gave him my real address and said first u gtta get by my 1 eyed angry neighbor that likes to shoot at his range, towards the road. then filled some oter stuff and and said lastly watch out for the dogs. etc. they never showed up
Originally Posted by bchoun
Whenever I went to take a dump, I would sit on the toilet facing the tank. I always thought the tank was an arm rest so I would rest my arms on it.
#14
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2ol9Urfzhes

Or let them talk first, and then reply in a death growl and see what they do.
Quote by duncang
maybe it's because i secrely agree that tracedin inymballsackistheb best album ever


he's got the fire and the fury,
at his command
well you don't have to worry,
if you hold onto jesus' hand
#16
I used to be a telemarketer, so here's some info

All the calls are 100% random
None of us give a **** about what we're selling
We laugh at people harder than they laugh at us

I had to read a script that went something like this:
Hi, my name is __________ and I'm calling on behalf of the BC Federation of Police Officers, located in Abbotsford, BC, and I just wanna let you know that I'm a paid solicitor with MTS etc.

I can't remember all of it but the goal is to rook them of as much money as they'll give by
sly verbal intimidation.
The person who makes the most sales that shift gets an extra break or 20 extra bucks or whatever.
#17
You: 'Do you know who this is?'
Them: '...No...'
You: 'Well f*ck off then'
#20
My friend once waited for the guy to do his whoole introduction thing, and then asked the seller if he speaks Swedish (in Finland 5-6% of the population speak Swedish). There was about a five second complete silence, and then the seller hang up.
#21
One guy rang and asked if I was homeowner so I said no and that I was a tramp who lives in a nearby bin and then I said I had to go because the police were at the door
Hull City A.F.C

Quote by Thrashtastic15
crunkym toy diuckl;ess ass ****igkjn ****** **** bitch ass pussy ****er douchecanoe ****** **** you s omn cnt you lieet le biutch
#22
Quote by cam_sampbell
One guy rang and asked if I was homeowner so I said no and that I was a tramp who lives in a nearby bin and then I said I had to go because the police were at the door



Haha, my dad did a similar one to that a while back.


Them: 'Hello, is that Mr Bosworth'
Dad: 'No, I'm the bloke who's just killed the family, I'd better go - the police will be round soon'.
#23
I love these calls. None of them can pronounce my second name so I play games with them to see if they can get it right. You should hear how nervous they get.
Quote by Karvid
You win this thread. And UG. I haven't actually lol'd at a post in a really long time. Thanks for changing that. I expect a sig


He expected this.

Something you definitely need to know
#24
when they call, try to chat them up
wen i ask they say that they fall into the habit smhw ........but nyways i think there is a connection smwhere. Now i being a teetollar will not give into this habit nyhw

FOR JUST £2 A WEEK, YOU CAN PREVENT THIS.
#25
Quote by Captain Scarlet
Funniest reply to a telesales call ever!!!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J5z4Vs26-TI



the first time i saw this i wrote down the whole thing incase i ever answered the phone and there was a telemarketer there. still hasnt happened
Is your name Mike? Do you want to be everyone's friend? Do you look similar to lots of other people? If so click here

Quote by LesPaulLeader08


Fucking win S&R!
#27
Sales guy: Hello there sir, sorry to take up your time, but...
My Dad: Yep, and you're not going to either *hangs up*

I must say, I lol'd at that
Some people wait a lifetime, some simply accept...

...Some of us crash land, some of us eject...

...Some restore the blood flow, some just let it go and bleed...

...Some of us obsess, some move on to something new
#28
Quote by whatamidoinhere
Sales guy: Hello there sir, sorry to take up your time, but...
My Dad: Yep, and you're not going to either *hangs up*

I must say, I lol'd at that


hahahahahahahahahahaha

...ha
#29
My friend had one call.
We were practicing some songs, and they phoned, so we cranked up, gave max gain, and gave them a wall of feedback + some weird drumming.
Sunn O))):
Quote by Doppelgänger
You could always just sleep beside your refrigerator.

Guitar:
- Ibanez S670FM w/ JB
- Fender 'Lite Ash' Stratocaster
- Fender '72 Deluxe Telecaster
- Arbiter LP Jr. Doublecut
Amp:
- Laney VC15

'72 Tele Appreciation Group
RIP DIO
#30
Has anyone ever bought anything from these people, or know someone who has? I've never heard of anyone buying there stuff, but plenty of people must do.

There must be a whole group of people out there who buy this stuff, that nobody else knows. I;m guessing they buy the stuff just for someone to talk to.
"It's not nice when people call you darling and that"
#31
Quote by Simsimius
My friend had one call.
We were practicing some songs, and they phoned, so we cranked up, gave max gain, and gave them a wall of feedback + some weird drumming.



I do this in my truck alot when they call. I will just throw the phone on my dash where the speaker is and crank it really high.
None are more hopelessly enslaved than those who falsely believe they are free.
#32
Quote by nebiru
I do this in my truck alot when they call. I will just throw the phone on my dash where the speaker is and crank it really high.


lol
Seems to work.
Sunn O))):
Quote by Doppelgänger
You could always just sleep beside your refrigerator.

Guitar:
- Ibanez S670FM w/ JB
- Fender 'Lite Ash' Stratocaster
- Fender '72 Deluxe Telecaster
- Arbiter LP Jr. Doublecut
Amp:
- Laney VC15

'72 Tele Appreciation Group
RIP DIO
#33
I'm nice to them. They're usually just college students trying to make some money.
"Why should we subsidise intellectual curiosity?"
-Ronald Reagan

"Knowledge is in every country the surest basis of public happiness."
-George Washington
#34
Quote by Ur all $h1t
I'm nice to them. They're usually just college students trying to make some money.



+1

They are being paid to do something.... U would be the first to complain if some prick started making your job difficult, so why not politley decline interest and say bye?
#35
Quote by jimmy_neutron
+1

They are being paid to do something.... U would be the first to complain if some prick started making your job difficult, so why not politley decline interest and say bye?



You've gotta expect abuse doing something so ignorant.

Phone starts ringing, you stop what you were doing to go and answer it only to find out its someone trying to sell you something you don't want...
#36
Quote by urbanfox
You've gotta expect abuse doing something so ignorant.

Phone starts ringing, you stop what you were doing to go and answer it only to find out its someone trying to sell you something you don't want...


+1. It's an invasion of privacy IMO.

BUT, it's your fault for having your number in the phonebook :P
Sunn O))):
Quote by Doppelgänger
You could always just sleep beside your refrigerator.

Guitar:
- Ibanez S670FM w/ JB
- Fender 'Lite Ash' Stratocaster
- Fender '72 Deluxe Telecaster
- Arbiter LP Jr. Doublecut
Amp:
- Laney VC15

'72 Tele Appreciation Group
RIP DIO
#38
Quote by daniel.mycoe
I love these calls. None of them can pronounce my second name so I play games with them to see if they can get it right. You should hear how nervous they get.


May I ask what your second name is ??
Quote by PlayMadness

Isn't it a little big-headed to name yourself "God," TS?

no.

Quote by Simsimius
I love you TS.


Quote by Ganoosh

Any thread with that title is sure to deliver, and this one...well...it did.
#39
I once talked like that kid in the wheelchair form Malcolm in the middle.

Hee......hhlooo Huuu....hhgoooo Spea....hking.
Quote by Tyson2011
d von is truly one of the pit.


Quote by 09phillt
Good God Man What's Wrong With You!?
#40
Quote by Kami-sama
May I ask what your second name is ??

agdgdgdwgngo
Quote by guitarhero_764
I think you need to stop caring what people think about it. I stayed home all day today and masturbated like 5 times. Fucking blast.

Ibanez ATK300 ◈ Sansamp VT Bass ◈ EHX Nano Small Stone ◈ Hartke LH500 ◈ Ashdown/Celestion 115
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