#1
Hello everyone,

This is the first song I've ever written, I recorded it through my computer mic with the amp cranked to catch the guitar as well as I could. I'm far from a great singer but enjoy playing music so decided to try my hand at writing a song.

This is nothing that spectacular but I think it sounds okay. Some of it is a little bland I'm sure but just wanted to start somewhere and put something together that sounded decent.

My first ever song is called "How I Seem to Be". I'm going to put the mp3 somewhere accessible (saw a list of sites where you can host in the FAQ) but for now I have it on the babulous app here: http://www.babulous.com/181435/content.jhtml

Tab is:


[VERSE 1]
G                             Cadd9
She put the emphasis on words that I wouldn't use
G                         Cadd9
Smirking amused fact was I was confused
G
How could you see things in me that you
Cadd9
want to believe
Am                          C
As far as I was concerned the whole damn world could bleed


[CHORUS]
Em
And arrogance might be a sin but
G
if you're clever you can make it get whatever you need
Am                          
And if I'm lucky it could bring you even closer to me
Cadd9                                                 Bm / C Am
You could love me here and now in spite of how I seem to be


[VERSE 2]
G
there's someone out there for you
   Cadd9
it just doesn't seem to be me
G
And I don't know how you feel about
Cadd9
shootin' the breeze (with me)
Am                  C
She wants to travel maybe visit the stars


[BRIDGE]
Am                          Bm
And I can't have her if she ever gets that far
D                                  Bm
I don't wanna be 'round her if she ever goes that far
D                            Bm
My heart beats louder as she gets into that car
            C  Cadd9
And drives away

[CHORUS]
Em
And arrogance might be a sin but
G
if you're clever you can make it get whatever you need
Am                          
And if I'm lucky it could bring you even closer to me
Cadd9                                                 Bm
You could love me here and now in spite of how I seem to be


[VERSE 3]
G                                  Cadd9
She's doin fine on her own and I'm getting by
G                                  Cadd9
Give her a ring on the phone every once in a while
Am                        C
Still wonder how I became just another guy


[CHORUS+]
Em
And arrogance might be a sin but
G
if you're clever you can make it get whatever you need
Am                          
And if I'm lucky it could bring you even closer to me
Cadd9                                                 Bm
You could love me here and now in spite of how I seem to be
Bm            Am
How I seem to be
                     G
But baby that's just me


Comments appreciated, esp tips on what the best thing is to focus on to get better. My instinct is to stick with simple chord strumming for now and try to come up with more interesting lyrics. On this song I found I changed my original lyrics and ideas a lot just to make them fit the music, and if I'd spent more time worrying about it probably could have written better lines. Verses 2 and 3 are kind of standard/generic fare altho again it sounds decent to me
My Gear
Epi Les Paul
Roland Microcube
Boss DS-1 pedal
Shure SM57
M-Audio Fasttrack
#3
great song, sweet.
"And Whamo! Your stuck with some boring job, and they dont let you play guitar and they dont let you take pictures of naked women"
-Homer Simpson
#4
I like the lyrics. way to use some unique rhymes. The vocals aren't the best, but just keep singing. The guitar timing isn't too smooth sometimes, but that will come.

Maybe some compression onthe vocals and guitar would help when it seems to get too loud at points. Good one man,

Crit 4 crit?

https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=941038
#5
Thanks for the crit, gave you one (as mentioned your song sounds like a professional recording, very cool!).

I couldn't sing a single note until like 3 months ago when I decided I would try singing along with my chords/guitar playing (which started a year ago) so it's predictably "meh". Hopefully with practice it will get decent tho!

Haven't tried improving the quality or otherwise changing the file after its recorded, i use this software called "wavepad". Will take a look at compression.. is that what I might call "normalization" where you get it so the volume stays within a certain range?
My Gear
Epi Les Paul
Roland Microcube
Boss DS-1 pedal
Shure SM57
M-Audio Fasttrack
#6
Great song man! I loved it. I actually thought the vocals worked really well with the song. The only "negative" thing i can say is that i was waiting for it to pick up. Like maybe a chorus you could make it louder and/or change up the melody slightly, but I'm not one to speak cuz i'm not a great song writter.

On a scale of 1-10, I'd give it a 9... great job

C4C?
http://ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=939621
#7
Thanks, will have a look at yours when I get some time at home to listen.

I think one of the limits I'm finding is getting that "different feel" throughout my songs. With only one instrument it's kind of tough to change it up I think. If it was a full accompaniement you could add or subtract drums/bass or add some lead guitar with some distortion to add more power or flavour as the song goes along.

If there's a suggestion on how to mix it up with the single guitar though I'm all ears. In my second song I tried switching from picking to strumming at different parts to change the sound and break the monotony. I could try flipping distortion on or clicking the treble/rhythm switch on my LP maybe along the way to also change sound.

But ya thanks, will crit yours a little later
My Gear
Epi Les Paul
Roland Microcube
Boss DS-1 pedal
Shure SM57
M-Audio Fasttrack