#1
imagine this,
some silly little fu.ck with dimes in his eyelids
and a bright blue rain jacket on dredging through
his front yard sifting for gold or the common cold
calls you at 4:30 in the morning to tell you
he thinks he's found a tunnel that brings you to asia.
poor sal,
burrowed head deep in some childish naivety,
clinging to baby fat and run down establishments.
he says the tunnel is littered with mystics and
christmas lights to help you on your way.
poor fu.cking sal i say,
all lit up with integrity,
you should have seen his face after he discovered that
the tunnel was no deeper than 10 feet and
stretched no further than his neighbors yard,
he was so hurt i could have cried.
Last edited by rushmore at Aug 23, 2008,
#5
Really beat inspired, it reminds me of some of the writing in Kaddish by Ginsberg.
Quote by ottoavist

i suppose there's a chance
i'm just a litte too shallow to consider
that maybe i've been a little more eager
each day to wake up and take a shower
brush my teeth and smile for the mirror
#6
i could see that i suppose. thank you though. leave links and ill return crits.
#10
^what the hell?

Anyways man, I thought this was flawless. seriously seriously loved it.
i know i haven't really helped you at all besides stroke your ego, but i'd value your opinion on the second one in my sig. no worries if you don't though.

thanks again for the enjoyable read.