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#1
I've got to play a show in like three hours. I also have massive horrible diarrhea to the extent where I'm giving birth to atomic bombs. It's gotten to the point where my stomach hurts like hell. It's all probably in combination of eating chinese food last night (the bastards) and running six miles today in Cross Country. Also, I've got that thing where for some strange reason your butthole really itches/hurts alot

Anyway, I took two teaspoons of Pepto Bismal, and I'm using Tucks Medicated Pads for the ouchy butthole. Any other ideas? Should I take Tums too or will the combination of that and the Pepto be deadly?!?!?

So yeah, give advice and share stories of your diarrhea and having diarreha at the worst possible moments ever.
Veteran UGer. Suck it.
#2
I'm having diarrhea as I'm typing. I also don't own a laptop.
YellowGreenBlueRed


Quote by webbtje
You live in a ruler, the only child of trouser water (?); it's very fantastic, and salami!
#4
wear maxi pads to the show

but seriously you got 3 hours try to get some rest. and for ass if its hemmoroids (sp?) try using witch hazel a few times a day till it goes away. it worked for me in about 1.5 weeks
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Quote by LesPaulLeader08


Fucking win S&R!
#5
Imodium(sp?) pills.
Quote by csn00b
I hate seeing cute girls topless and what not, it just feels wrong.
#6
Take a shower and spray your butt (don't use the pulser, it WILL go inside your butt) with water and the burning will go away.
Bari Build

_\_\ll/_/_
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___ \/ ___

#7
If its still bothering you in another hour, take a tum. Worse comes to worse, buy a pack of adult diapers or stick toilet paper up your ass before you go on.

Don't worry though, It wont come to that, youll be fine.

Is this your first show with new band or a place you havent played before? Could be your nerves.
Quote by Bloodavian
Its not about the Radio its about talent, the front man has a bigger vocal range than Micheal Jackson and he can sing from heavey metal to high pitched ...No.12 on the top 20 under rated guitarists of ALL TIME...etc

1-Bloodavian 0-Forkman.

^Fail^
#8
theres this stuff called bean-o or beano or somerhing, im not even kidding you, it releaves gas pain like no other. try it.

or gasX or any other gas stuff.
#10
drink some superglue, that should seal you up nice and good..

Or else tie a plastic bag to your ass and dont stop playing so people cant hear.....

On second thought.. what kinda show.....? is there any stagehands?......
#11
Drink a hot hot cup of tea and it will cleanse out your bowels.
Quote by denizenz
I'll logic you right in the thyroid.

Art & Lutherie
#13
Quote by Fat Lard
**** on the stage. It'll add to the showmanship.


STEAM: beachhhhhhhh

Quote by cornmancer
Please daddy, just for one hour.
#14
Quote by darkstar2466
Drink a hot hot cup of tea and it will cleanse out your bowels.


This man is right.


#16
i have a solution

Living is easy with eyes closed...
--------------------------

Quote by GnR_ROK
I'm surprised you returned to this thread after cheeseman owned you.
#17
^ Epic.

You can sh*t in your pants and cry when you do.
Quote by denizenz
I'll logic you right in the thyroid.

Art & Lutherie
#20
itchy butt = "swamp as$" or "mud butt" which ever you prefer.

oh, and haha that sucks!!!

EDIT: go for the hot tea idea
GO HUSKERS!

12/5/1993 --R.I.P. J.J.S.-- 6/4/2010
#21
take a lot more pepto. Two teaspoons isn't enough. Take a gulp.
Kind of nominated for Best Retired User.


Skepto > Oxygen
#24
Quote by David_Bowie=GOD
If its still bothering you in another hour, take a tum. Worse comes to worse, buy a pack of adult diapers or stick toilet paper up your ass before you go on.

Don't worry though, It wont come to that, youll be fine.

Is this your first show with new band or a place you havent played before? Could be your nerves.


Nah dude, I've played like 30 shows before, but I suffer from SERIOUS stage fright.
Veteran UGer. Suck it.
#27
Blast it out, man.

If you get it all out, no more can during the show, can it?
#28
Quote by EJD
Blast it out, man.

If you get it all out, no more can during the show, can it?


Diarrhea rebuilds its armies quickly.

Very quickly.
Quote by denizenz
I'll logic you right in the thyroid.

Art & Lutherie
#32
Go to the toilet and try to get it all out. Cringe as hard as you can and sh*t like you've never shat.

As for the itchy butthole, er, ummmmm...Wipe your ass with rubbing alcohol???
#33
if you feel the urge during the show, just pull your pants down and blast it all over the crowd. they will love you for it.
#34
school is worse. I missed a whole block from bad diarrhea once (1 h 10 minutes of english)
Quote by The Spoon
Unless you're sure she likes you, telling her you like her has a 110% chance of failing.

But hey, at least you have a 10% chance of absolutely guaranteeing failure.
#35
Quote by Fat Lard
**** on the stage. It'll add to the showmanship.


Fuck yeah! Pull a GG Allin!
#36
Quote by British_Steal
school is worse. I missed a whole block from bad diarrhea once (1 h 10 minutes of english)


block scheduling? you lucky son of a bitch. i have 8 periods a day and fucking hate it
#37
Quote by jimmy_neutron
drink some superglue, that should seal you up nice and good...


I just choked on my corn when I read that.
#39
have some one get a big projector and put up a mindf*ck image every time you have to go..so you have an excuse for ****ting yourself
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