Can't really be bothered giving proper crit, but bars 22-25. Use that lead part more, it's good, the other lead part gets kind of boring.

And in the breakdown, the guitar lead bit, consider changing it.

Cool drums during the bridge, kudos.

And change the outro in any way you can, it's okay, but a real anticlimax.

Edit: As AngrySockMonkey said, spend more time on your compositions. I spend ages on all of mine, but I usually end up very happy with them. Remember, it's the fine details that make a song great.
Last edited by Regression at Aug 25, 2008,
okay, sweet. thanks. ^___^
Your light bulb knows everything you do in your room.
I think most of it was really unconnected. Sounded quite amateur.

Changing between two riffs for screaming and clean vocals got really quite bland, considering it's all you really did.

The breakdown was really unoriginal, try to innovate, don't just copy every mediocre screamo/hardcore breakdown.

The bridge wasn't too bad, and like Regression said, you did a nice job with the drums. But, saying this proves that you have some experience with Guitar Pro. You should be able to do a better job.

Overall, it wasn't the worst song I have ever heard.

Good Stuff:
- The lead parts were good
- Drum 'n Bass part was pretty sweet, and the little bass intro following it.

Bad Stuff:
- Very repetitive
- Unoriginal breakdown
- Same key changes throughout
- Bass composition could add more to the song (which is hard, so don't worry about this as much as making an actual song)

I'd say scrap it, don't copy paste as much next time . And try to take more time on your songs.. making one in one day may be impressive, but if it is only sub-par, then what is the point?

C4C https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=941499
We can only guffaw at all the humbug we are told about martyrs.
okay. nah, man. deffinately wont scrap it.
if anything, im keeping the main riffs.

but thanks. (:
Your light bulb knows everything you do in your room.