#1
Okay, so I wrote this fairly quickly, and feel it needs a little change. I just can't really put my finger on it. It starts off with a clean intro, then goes between a clean and edgy sort of distortion. Then for the chorus it speeds up with heavy distortion, with a bluesy break-down during...well, I'll point it out.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Open your eyes so that you may see
I'll take you through hell if you listen to me
With all this **** you do to me
You're like a damn disease

Wade through these depths...
Feel your descent...

Into silence (whispered)

*Help me find redemption
Help me through this hell
Help me find redemption
Help me as I find myself
Bleeding on your altar
You've shown me the way
Help me find redemption
Help me end it all today.*

This descent into silence...

I can't believe,
You're still standin' by me
I can't deceive you
But I can't live like this ANYMORE!

*chorus*


(okay, during this part is where the breakdown is, and during it, the singer draws these lines out and sings them slow in a low tone.)

You're breakin' away from me
I can taste this sweet redemption
I'm finally free
I can finally live this sweet redemption
"Ignorance runs rampant through this virus we call life, dead one day, alive the next, never breaking a stride. As I take it all in and realize, nothing we do can stop it, I release the hatred from my eyes, only to feel it within."
#2
Ummmm...can I get some feeback on here?
"Ignorance runs rampant through this virus we call life, dead one day, alive the next, never breaking a stride. As I take it all in and realize, nothing we do can stop it, I release the hatred from my eyes, only to feel it within."
#3
*reported*
please read the rules of the forum concerning bumping your own thread.
thanks.
There's a road that leads to the end of all suffering. You should take it.


- Jericho Caine


secret, aaaaagent maaan.
secret, aaaaagent maaan.