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#1
She simply won't eat. She eats as little as possible per day and is obsessed with running everyday for excersise. We keep telling her to eat and that it's not healthy but she just won't listen, and when we were sitting watching tv, she kept grabbing her stomach in pain, 3 of them were really loud, I told her " do you REALLY think you're okay? " and she just got super pissed.

My friends seem to have given up and just let her do what she wants, but I just can't. We've only been dating for 2 months, but we've gotten really close and I don't want this hurting the relationship. I've thought about sneaking her phone and taking down her mom's number and telling her these things, but then she would never talk to me again. I just don't know what to do, I feel so helpless. Any advice?

Oh and PLEASE try to keep this serious Pit, I swear if I see one asshat in this thread I'll report you.

Edit: Don't know if this helps or not, but she's not fat at all. She's just curvy, which I like actually, but she doesn't like it obviously. She told me she's had weight problems in the past, which I guess means she's got really bad metabolism. And I told her not eating isn't exactly helping it, it's just making her metabolism worse, and she still won't listen.
Quote by buddha
isnt there a law against not shaving? thats somewere in our constitution. i think it goes something like a girl maybe be a freak in the sheets but no be wild down stairs is treason and for that she will be beheaded.-good old Benjamin F.

Last edited by shakin'cakes at Aug 24, 2008,
#2
Tell her she is too skinny. Call her names that relate to the condition. Tell her you like a big round ass and she doesn't have it.
#3
tell her mom anyway. its whats best for her right?
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#4
This is the pit, you wont get many serious answers. If she really has the disorder, she may have to be put in the hospital and get fluids pumped into her. Not nice.
When all else fails, ask the pit.
#5
Well for starters, nagging won't do anything and going behind her back like she's a retarded crocodile won't help either. Tell her honestly and sincere that you want to help her and not in the patronizing way.
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#6
Is anorexic?

Therapist, or a doctor or something. It's a mental condition, meaning she's a bit messed up in the head, she needs a specialist.
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#8
Uhh the thing with telling her mom seems like it would work, just like get her moms number and call her (when you're not with your gf)
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#9
Quote by Kensai
Well for starters, nagging won't do anything and going behind her back like she's a retarded crocodile won't help either. Tell her honestly and sincere that you want to help her and not in the patronizing way.


This is so far my best option, as I would much rather not tell her mom. She'd hate me.
I really hope this works.
Quote by buddha
isnt there a law against not shaving? thats somewere in our constitution. i think it goes something like a girl maybe be a freak in the sheets but no be wild down stairs is treason and for that she will be beheaded.-good old Benjamin F.

#10
Basically what Kensai said. If she listens, suggest some therapy too perhaps.
NOPE.
#11
I had such a great joke reply lined up

But seriously, tell her mum. She'll hate you for it at first, but will come to appreciate it eventually.
#14
if you do that call her mom thing she will hate you forever. if she actually manages to lose weight, and a lot, her mom will notice on her own (duh) all you can do is reassure her that she looks damn fyne to you and eventually she will come out of it
BE HAPPY

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#15
Tell her seriously, not while watching TV. Make it seem like it's a big deal. Be sincere, and caring. Don't be hurtful though. Just be like, "I don't think you're eating enough and I think it might become a problem", and see where it goes from there.
#16
Tell her mom. If it risks ruining the relationship to help save a life, it's very worth it.
I can honestly say I have really been far even as decided to use even go want to do look more like.


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#17
Quote by restless_thrash
Anhorexia Nervosa isn't pretty. You have to assure her that she isn't fat, that you would love her any way she was, and that you want to help.


it won't help

every answer to the "do I look fat?" question is wrong

always
#18
Anorexia isn't something you can easily talk someone out. It's a disease, which is sometimes severe enough to put someone in hospital for months.
You could talk to her mum, but if her mum doesn't know it yet, she's prolly not really close with her daughter so you won't get much help of that aswell. But if she does know, you both could work together.
#19
Talk to her alone at first. Maybe print out some information about the disorder and make sure she knows it's serious and that you're really trying to help her. If she still doesn't listen you HAVE to tell her parents just for her health's sake. Maybe even have an intervention with a doctor.

Mental disorders are hard to overcome so just be strong and patient. All the best!!
#20
She doesn't have anorexia nervosa, but she's still being unhealthy. You don't have to try and stop her from dieting, just make sure that she keeps it stable.
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#21
Quote by Thornography
Tell her seriously, not while watching TV. Make it seem like it's a big deal. Be sincere, and caring. Don't be hurtful though. Just be like, "I don't think you're eating enough and I think it might become a problem", and see where it goes from there.



This, and support her as much as you can., and tell her you love her the way she is. and if she starts gaining weight, just tell her you love it even more. That should stimulate her a bit ,, tell her mom, and maybe get some Professional help good luck

Quote by seljer
it won't help

every answer to the "do I look fat?" question is wrong

always



Thats just something every girl has.
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EAT MY ASS AND BALLS.
#22
Tell her that eating disorders are not pretty, that being 80 pounds makes you have no ass or tits.

But in all seriousness, sit down and talk with her about it, tell her everyone is worried and that she needs to get help.
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#24
my cousins friend was in the exact same position as you, what they did was sat her down on the computer and showed her pictures of people who died of anorexia and shock pictures like that, then they sat her down at the table and forced her to eat a full fry up, bacon, eggs, sausages. that worked for them
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#25
explain how it is when you finish in hospitals.
I've got a friend that was in a hospital for 5 months.
so yeah....
1. You're surfing the internet.
2. You're browsing through the UG forums.
3. You're reading now.
5. You didn't notice that there was no #4.
6. You just checked it.
7. Now you're having a lil smile.

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#26
Quote by shakin'cakes
This is so far my best option, as I would much rather not tell her mom. She'd hate me.
I really hope this works.


It's hard to judge but your gf does seem defensive about it and in my experience going behind someone's back is not helping at all.

Maybe you should try introducing her to some new foods? Without mentioning anything about anorexia.
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#27
DON'T tell her mom! She'll need your support when she starts to have serious problems (physically and mentally) which she surely will.
Get professional help, but talk to her about it first. She'll probably not consent, get professional help anyway. Anorexic people usually have a really distorted image of themselves, they think they're fat even shortly before starvation
Last edited by Kamikaze21 at Aug 24, 2008,
#28
hey rabid.

Sorry for the news.

you can do this in many ways:

1: the easy way: tell her in a quite strict and firm fashion about how you feel.

2: the hard way: tell her mom

3: the impossible way: don't do anything.

4: the sleazy way: sneak carbs and mass builders in her food.

5: the reverse-psychology way: say she's too skinny, that she looks like **** if she gets any skinnier.
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#29
Quote by Kensai
It's hard to judge but your gf does seem defensive about it and in my experience going behind someone's back is not helping at all.

Maybe you should try introducing her to some new foods? Without mentioning anything about anorexia.


Don't think that would work, she pretty much turns down any food that comes near her

And I think rabidguitarist was onto something, she doesn't have most symptoms of anorexia nervosa, she has:

- Constantly feeling cold

- Voluntary starvation

- Obsessive excersising

But even that was putting me to a scare, so I guess it's just a really really unhealthy diet? She DOES eat, but just barely enough to get her through the day. And her stomach gurgling made me a little worried.
Quote by buddha
isnt there a law against not shaving? thats somewere in our constitution. i think it goes something like a girl maybe be a freak in the sheets but no be wild down stairs is treason and for that she will be beheaded.-good old Benjamin F.

#30
Sit down with her parents and talk to them about it, and make sure they don't say "Your boyfriend told me...". They'll probably just tell her they're worried about her recent drop in weight and try to get her some help.
Dickless.
#31
Ok, I've decided I'm actually going to be useful in this thread.

Quote by -deathbox-
1: the easy way: tell her in a quite strict and firm fashion about how you feel.

He's tried it, and trying it again won't make a difference.


2: the hard way: tell her mom

No. Parents do number 4 and number 5.

3: the impossible way: don't do anything.

This won't solve the problem.

4: the sleazy way: sneak carbs and mass builders in her food.

This could make her start purging, and that sets of a whole new chain of problems.

5: the reverse-psychology way: say she's too skinny, that she looks like **** if she gets any skinnier.

Do you think this would make you feel good?


I'll say this again. You said she's 'curvy'. Let her diet if she thinks she'll be happier with less weight, but make sure it's healthy and stable. Chances are, there isn't a mental problem there, so once she's reached her target weight, she'll stop.
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A mesmeric melange of yearning voice, delicate piano and carefully chosen samples. ~Lost Voices
#32
i have to say, the reverse psychology thing sounds like a good idea, at least at first.

like when you're watching tv and a commercial for something like victoria's secret comes on, say that they all look way too skinny
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#34
Quote by Kensai


Maybe you should try introducing her to some new foods? Without mentioning anything about anorexia.


If you're gonna try this, don't show her 25300 new foods at once.
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#35
Quote by shakin'cakes
Don't think that would work, she pretty much turns down any food that comes near her


Does she eat any snackes or candy during the day?

Quote by the_axis
i have to say, the reverse psychology thing sounds like a good idea, at least at first.

like when you're watching tv and a commercial for something like victoria's secret comes on, say that they all look way too skinny


I'm sure your boner will disagree.

(we don't have those in sweden =/ )
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#36
Quote by shakin'cakes
Don't think that would work, she pretty much turns down any food that comes near her

And I think rabidguitarist was onto something, she doesn't have most symptoms of anorexia nervosa, she has:

- Constantly feeling cold

- Voluntary starvation

- Obsessive excersising

But even that was putting me to a scare, so I guess it's just a really really unhealthy diet? She DOES eat, but just barely enough to get her through the day. And her stomach gurgling made me a little worried.



if she doesn't want to eat much. you should make sure the things she will eat are good things to eat. so no fastfood, but healty stuff (maybe like one of those drinks with 50% of vitamines you need daily?) and if she doesn't like it. eat/drink it together,it could work

does she drink enough?
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Isn't it odd, that Iron Man is a superhero, whereas "iron, woman!" is a command?



EAT MY ASS AND BALLS.
#37
Quote by rabidguitarist
Ok, I've decided I'm actually going to be useful in this thread.


I'll say this again. You said she's 'curvy'. Let her diet if she thinks she'll be happier with less weight, but make sure it's healthy and stable. Chances are, there isn't a mental problem there, so once she's reached her target weight, she'll stop.


Yeah I'm pretty sure there is no mental problem, but physically is what's worrying me. But thanks you've been great help. I guess I'll watch her diet carefully.

Quote by metalbaswee
if she doesn't want to eat much. you should make sure the things she will eat are good things to eat. so no fastfood, but healty stuff (maybe like one of those drinks with 50% of vitamines you need daily?) and if she doesn't like it. eat/drink it together,it could work

does she drink enough?


Yeah she drinks a lot of water, and I kinda like the idea of eating things together though, I'll get lots of fruits and vegetables and make salads and stuff for us I guess. She doesn't like meat anyway, so it's good stuff she'll like.
Quote by buddha
isnt there a law against not shaving? thats somewere in our constitution. i think it goes something like a girl maybe be a freak in the sheets but no be wild down stairs is treason and for that she will be beheaded.-good old Benjamin F.

Last edited by shakin'cakes at Aug 24, 2008,
#38
Quote by rabidguitarist
Ok, I've decided I'm actually going to be useful in this thread.


I'll say this again. You said she's 'curvy'. Let her diet if she thinks she'll be happier with less weight, but make sure it's healthy and stable. Chances are, there isn't a mental problem there, so once she's reached her target weight, she'll stop.

It doesn't alot of the time, though. I was almost in a similar situation, an ex of mine almost went on a lemonade and ketchup diet she'd read about even after she'd reached 120.
Dickless.
#39
Quote by rabidguitarist
Ok, I've decided I'm actually going to be useful in this thread.


I'll say this again. You said she's 'curvy'. Let her diet if she thinks she'll be happier with less weight, but make sure it's healthy and stable. Chances are, there isn't a mental problem there, so once she's reached her target weight, she'll stop.

This doesn't seem like a mental problem, but crash diets are still unhealthy.
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#40
if you care about her, you should tell her mum, she'd understand how you feel and that your serious about her
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