#1
I wrote this like 3 years ago. It's supposed to be up-beat acoustic guitar under a sing-song kind of vocal style. I can hear the guitar in my head but I'm not good enough to explain, write down, or play it (I've tried all 3).

Enjoy?


Outside there is a girl
So sweet, so f*cking kind
Inside there’s only hurt
So hot it burns her mind
Outside we see her smile
And it may brighten up your day
But inside she feels exiled
And knowing this, what do you say?
Outside she blinks her eyes
Telling you that it’s all fine
But inside she knows she lies
And she’s trying not to cry
Outside she’s looking kind of sad
And you ask her what is wrong
Inside she’s feeling f*cking bad
And so she listens to that song

F*cking emotion sick

Outside there is a boy
He’s happy, he is cool
Inside he is a void
He wishes it wasn’t true
Outside he smiles back
And he feels his heart warm up
But inside, that’s besides the fact
‘Cause it’s really screaming “F*ck!”
Outside he reassures
“No worries” is what he says
But inside he’s feeling worse
The hole grew inside his chest
Outside he pulls his hat
Doesn’t let her see his face
Inside he hears that track
Loses himself in another place

F*cking emotion-sick
CALIBRATE THE VIRUS


lolwut?
#2
I liked it, probably because i could relate to it.

You could take out the F*ck in a few parts, but on
But inside, that’s besides the fact
‘Cause it’s really screaming “F*ck!”
you could probaly keep it.

this was pretty good. just saying what i think would make it a little better.
#3
Thanks. I appreciate it! And I agree with you about the cursing. I'll probably re-write it soon.
CALIBRATE THE VIRUS


lolwut?