#1
OK, a very good friend of mine has started acting a bit weird, I've discussed it with other friends and we think that perhaps he is depressed. I'm here asking for tips or if anyone can direct me to a good ebook or website or anything that will help me help him deal with whatevers happening for him right now, because he won't talk about it to anyone.

He's always been wagging class every now and again but at the moment (for the past few months) its been ridiculous - coming to school once a week at most. We're 5 weeks off final year 12 exams now as well. His idea for tertiary education has gone from 'ill do this' to 'i wont get the enter, ill just do that' to 'i wont get the enter ill just do that at tafe instead of uni' and recently he sat an English SAC (School Assessed Coursework, if you fail it you fail the unit), wrote a 100 word paragraph (instead of a 900 word essay) and left. The teacher asked him to do it again but he said he 'didn't feel like it'. He doesn't get in trouble for staying at home - he's 18 and can write his own notes and he makes pretty convincing medical certificates too. His mum works from home though, so fuck knows what he does all day.

Outside of school, he's been a lot quiter and reclusive. We had a piss-up at his house a couple of weeks ago, and he said he only wanted to invite people that would get fucked up - noone sober. But he ended up sipping beer, barely talking and going to sleep early. He's never done this before - and even decided not to invite a good friend of ours because he thought that the guy would do something like that.

I know next to nothing about depression, but my friend who knows a bit more says this all points to depression. Keep in mind that these aren't the only things making me think this, just that they are the best examples to give you an idea of the sort of thing thats going on.

Another episode recently:

My friend 2's girlfriend 1 has a younger brother 1 (15) and she's desperate to keep him away from pot. My friend 1 is still selling him pot, and girlfriend is asking friend 2 whether brother is smoking. Friend 2 can either dog his friend of 5 years by saying 'yes, he is' or he can dog his girlfriend of 2 years by saying 'no, he isnt'. So friend 2 tells this to friend 1, who 6 months ago would have just stopped selling, but friend 1 refuses to stop. Friend 1 has plenty of other people to sell to and the little brother has plenty of other people to buy from. This is stupid - he seems intent on fucking up a very close 5 year friendship for no reason whatsoever.

So please help me out! I want to help him out with whatever is happening to him at the moment.

In short, a good friend of mine has become very reclusive and quiet when he used to be very loud and extroverted. We're within 2 months of final year 12 exams but he never comes to school and doesn't seem to care about the result he gets. Everything about him is completely uncharacteristic of him. Please help
O what a disgrace if such a despised and base race, which worships demons, should conquer a people which has the faith of omnipotent God and is made glorious with the name of Christ!

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Last edited by MHDrunk at Aug 28, 2008,
#2
You need a little sentence at the bottom that says this:

tl;dr, (explain your story in one sentence)
I'll believe in anything and you'll believe in anything.
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#4
Quote by Schism1985
uhh.... wow. maybe tell a councilor or something? idk. the situation sounds pretty effed up beyond the help of the pit.


I can't tell a counsellor, he'd get pissed off at any of us if we took him to any counsellor and he wouldn't go to them anyway. I just want some kind of advice or direction to advice about how to approach this situation.
O what a disgrace if such a despised and base race, which worships demons, should conquer a people which has the faith of omnipotent God and is made glorious with the name of Christ!

The music winners listen to
#5
I hate to sound rude, but tell him to suck it up and do his freakin work for the last two months that he has to. He may not care now, but in less than a year he'll be feeling terrible and useless. A similar thing happened to a friend of mine. I was rather harsh with him and he eventually fixed himself up.
Quote by zObiPhiOn
I came at the

-"Oh Lars, seek and destroy my backside"
-"yeah Kirk ride my lightning!"


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#6
Sounds like he's becoming a grade A Badass.
I doubt it's depression, I'm no psychologist but when one is depressed he doesn't do anything; he wouldn't have wanted to throw that "piss up" if he was depressed.
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#7
Quote by LgLagro
I hate to sound rude, but tell him to suck it up and do his freakin work for the last two months that he has to. He may not care now, but in less than a year he'll be feeling terrible and useless. A similar thing happened to a friend of mine. I was rather harsh with him and he eventually fixed himself up.


Right but assuming this is actual depression is something like that really gonna help? There is more to this than 'suck it up', otherwise I'd be telling him exactly that.
O what a disgrace if such a despised and base race, which worships demons, should conquer a people which has the faith of omnipotent God and is made glorious with the name of Christ!

The music winners listen to
#8
If he won't talk about it and doesn't wanna do anything there's not much you can do. You can't help someone if they don't want help.
#9
Quote by KFKing
Sounds like he's becoming a grade A Badass.
I doubt it's depression, I'm no psychologist but when one is depressed he doesn't do anything; he wouldn't have wanted to throw that "piss up" if he was depressed.


I see what you mean, but that was the first he'd done in about 2 months when we used to do it twice a week. And it seemed like he threw it just to appear normal or something, and then as I said he sat there doing nothing all night. There have also been plenty of times we've invited him out to places he'd normally be eager to go and he's said stuff like 'I just wanna stay home all weekend'
O what a disgrace if such a despised and base race, which worships demons, should conquer a people which has the faith of omnipotent God and is made glorious with the name of Christ!

The music winners listen to
#10
Quote by mr.happyman
If he won't talk about it and doesn't wanna do anything there's not much you can do. You can't help someone if they don't want help.


The examples given aren't issues themselves that need tackling, we think they are symptoms. I want to tackle the underlying cause of it which I think is depression. If he is depressed than he needs help whether he asks for it or not. I'm pretty sure most people that are depressed don't always reach out for help - whether they even know they are depressed in the first place.
O what a disgrace if such a despised and base race, which worships demons, should conquer a people which has the faith of omnipotent God and is made glorious with the name of Christ!

The music winners listen to
#11
Quote by MHDrunk
Right but assuming this is actual depression is something like that really gonna help? There is more to this than 'suck it up', otherwise I'd be telling him exactly that.


Well if it's clinical depression then there's nothing you can do for him besides send him to a doctor or therapist or sneak some prozac into his beer.
Quote by zObiPhiOn
I came at the

-"Oh Lars, seek and destroy my backside"
-"yeah Kirk ride my lightning!"


██████████████████████___________██████████████████████
______________________███████████████████
██████████████████████___________██████████████████████
#12
Aw, poor friend.

You should hug him.

And I think it's a bit late for the school stuff. He's got too much to catch up on in too short a time. What's wrong with TAFE anyway? It's just another step into uni, right?
#13
Abunai the point was that he's giving up on all his ambitions. I'm not slagging off TAFE or anything
O what a disgrace if such a despised and base race, which worships demons, should conquer a people which has the faith of omnipotent God and is made glorious with the name of Christ!

The music winners listen to
#15
Quote by MHDrunk
Abunai the point was that he's giving up on all his ambitions. I'm not slagging off TAFE or anything


Maybe, but perhaps he still wants to be whatever he used to wanna be and TAFE is just a different path of getting there. That doesn't necessarily mean he's giving up on his ambitions. Not in that department, anyway.

Although, his other behaviour is a bit worrying. You can't really help him if he doesn't want it. Maybe he's going through other problems you don't know about?

lol, clearly, I have no idea. Hope he gets better though.
#16
I know what you mean, but his ambitions have dropped down a fair bit. I'll do my best to help him without confronting/accusing him about depression. I figured I might start up a convo about school next time we go out, have a bit of a whinge myself, see what he says about it.
O what a disgrace if such a despised and base race, which worships demons, should conquer a people which has the faith of omnipotent God and is made glorious with the name of Christ!

The music winners listen to
#17
Have you tried talking to him and asking what's wrong?

Maybe it's a drug-related problem. People don't change that quickly unless there's some strong stimuli, or absense thereof. If you try talking to him and he's agressive to you, and all like "leave me alone", then I think you should consider the drug possibility, and maybe ask a doctor about your friends condition.
#18
I'm not gonna go straight out and say 'are you depressed' 'anything bothering you' he's not gonna respond well to that. My friend tried that and he just said 'no'. He's probably going to be denying it, so it's best not to ask, it'll just sound like an accusation to him and then he'll be on the look out to see if anything we say has any such implications
O what a disgrace if such a despised and base race, which worships demons, should conquer a people which has the faith of omnipotent God and is made glorious with the name of Christ!

The music winners listen to