#1
Okay please just let me know what you think.
the emotions are hopefully self evident. Its a kind of acoustic, single finger picked guitar, sort of like Vermillion Pt2, by slipknot,Any opinions are accepted gratefully,
thanks

Hate echoes within,
Blades tear out my sin,
Tongue crawls down my throat,
Alone i start to choke,

Obliviously blind,
That knives pass by my time,
You dont seem to care,
Go buy new shoes, dye your hair,

While i die,
While i cry,
While i bleed in my room,
My restless tomb,

Goodbye.
'If I were not a physicist, I would probably be a musician. I often think in music. I live my daydreams in music. I see my life in terms of music.' Albert Einstein
#2
Hate echoes within,
Blades tear out my sin,
Tongue crawls down my throat,
Alone i start to choke,

Obliviously blind,
That knives pass by my time,
You dont seem to care,
Go buy new shoes, dye your hair,this seems kind of out of place because you use so much imagery, which i think is amazing, i would say something like "our link begins to tear, it still rhymes but it gives the darker feel that is in the rest of the song

While i die,
While i cry,
While i bleed in my room,
My restless tomb,

Goodbye.

I really like it, i really like the darkness that you have in it the emotions, like you said, are definitly self-evident i'd like to hear this when its done... and thanks for the crit on "My Own Madness" that really helped alot