#1
maybe more people will agree with my this time.

I dont know what it is but I feel like im in the zone or something.

you can read the explanation in my other topic which is still on the front page here at the moment if you want to know what i mean by "perfect"

its called

she said she could live in her backyard

for those of you who criticized my voice last time!- this song shows i can actually sing (kinda) the last song wasnt about being in tune! yes thats it.

@ the myspace
http://www.myspace.com/dolleyesband
#4
I really like how it builds over time, pretty damn good. Except it seems like its missing a lot. If I created that.. I would have an amazing chorus explosion, where everything just takes off on a musical roller coaster. Cause that is the type of song that has the potential for such a thing, there's nothing I love more than an amazing chorus in the major scale. I just think that it could have so much more to make it incredible. Other than that.. I'd have to say that the vocals were rather awkward at times, might want to work on that.

Check the profile, and I'd love to hear what you think about the song in there =)
Last edited by SamZee at Aug 29, 2008,
#6
Quote by SamZee
I really like how it builds over time, pretty damn good. Except it seems like its missing a lot. If I created that.. I would have an amazing chorus explosion, where everything just takes off on a musical roller coaster. Cause that is the type of song that has the potential for such a thing, there's nothing I love more than an amazing chorus in the major scale. I just think that it could have so much more to make it incredible. Other than that.. I'd have to say that the vocals were rather awkward at times, might want to work on that.

Check the profile, and I'd love to hear what you think about the song in there =)


and this is cool, but choruses are retarded imo
#8
Yeah, you're really flat for most of the song.
I like the music though.

It builds up PERFECTLY. It sounds like the song is totally in control of where it goes, and it just meanders as it wishes. It doesn't sound like you've sat there and figured out where and when the layers come into play. It's totally cohesive.
I quite like how the song isn't very self-aware. You have this great build up, then it just gets quieter again, where-as with any other song of this type it would climax in an orgy of strings and guitars and drums n all that ****.
It's interestingly counter culture, and I dig that.

crit mine?
https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=946669
#9
The vocals were a bit of a contrast to the music. As in, the music builds up and changes and has all these tiny nuances throughout the song, but the vocals didn't exactly live up to the music. I actually ended up preferring the verses to the chorus. Not bad.

C4C?


https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=946422
#10
If you want constructive criticism, read on; if not, just ignore this:

-In terms of voice, I couldn't understand what you were saying, and it sounds like your voice is underdeveloped. Either the pitch was too low for you, or you can't sing, yet. Certain exercises and practices can change that though.

-In terms of song, well, the music was static. Nothing kept me interested.
#11
Sorry, but the vocals sounded very out of tune in places.

Try singing a lot louder- if you put more power into it, you have less chance of the pitch wavering.
VENUSIAN
FB SC BC TW
Patterns In The Ivy present ethnicity on an intriguing and dedicated level. ~Ambient Exotica
A mesmeric melange of yearning voice, delicate piano and carefully chosen samples. ~Lost Voices
#12
Am I the only one who finds it extremely arrogant to call your songs "perfect"? I have bad news man, there is still room for improvement (there is in pretty much any song anywhere) so it's not perfect.

Now is it good? yes. As mentioned above the buildup is great. Vocals are a little monotonous, could just be because they're sung so slow and low pitch. I don't really get the clapping that comes in at the end, seems random.

But ya its good, I like your songs but seriously stop calling it "perfect". Or if it is perfect get million dollar recording contract instead of asking for feedback on UG?
My Gear
Epi Les Paul
Roland Microcube
Boss DS-1 pedal
Shure SM57
M-Audio Fasttrack
#13
i think the music is pretty good and i like the build up
the vocals i also thought were flat but i also do not know of the two singers you are referring to.
I think the climatic bit was good but thought that when it came back down you could have done it better.
overall i would say i liked it but there is some roon for improvement

crit mine?https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=947760
#14
You sound ALOT like Iron and Wine, I like it. To everyone complaining about the voice: Have you ever listened to modern folk? His voice is alot more solid than Conor Oberst's or Tom Gabel's.
Dickless.
#15
The singing or 'whispering' Which I gotta be honest kind of bugs me a little Is very flat, The mix itself Is a little bland I guess but it's a nice plesant mix overall, and the gradual build up isn't bad either, Just the singing/whispering. Needs to....dissapear, for me atleast. I mean I'm not trying to be cruel I'm just being honest with you. Wasn't my cup of tea at all.
#16
I like!

I love the style, reminds me of my beloved Sigur Ros. I think you have an excellent sense of style int he genre you perform. Excellently suited vocals, although they are out of tune I think its possibly intentional? Perhaps to create a more expressive effect?

I listened to a couple of your other tracks and to be honest I would buy your demo if I saw it in a record shop; keep me posted on any new tracks coming up

I have a couple of new songs in My Profile(https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=947156) that you could crit if you liked, although they aren't anything like your style. I have a very broad musical taste, and you fit into mine very well.
"I feel sorry for James Blunt, he has to wake up every morning and think 'Ah man, I'm James Blunt'"
#17
the rhythm distorted part is off beat at times(towards the beginning at least) and your vocals are flat as some other people said. If you fix the vocals it could be pretty good. The actual composition is pretty good though, nice stuff.
Follow me on instagram @createdaily
#18
hey man, i dig the song, i think it was pretty damn good. i like the whole feeling that the song is it's own entity and it goes where it wants to...not like a lot of songs your hear where you can guess whats coming next. i like your other songs too! keep up the good work man
#19
I liked it. You have a very soothing voice at points, you just need to find out how to control it better. The instrumentation was very nice, maybe the build up could be played over less time? The guitar tone was a bit weak as well...are your songs available for download here?