#1
This is my first attempt at writing lyrics, been writing riffs etc. for a while but only started to make decent ones recently. But back on subject, I'm looking for some criticism on my first piece.

EDIT: Finished now, still up for criticism


The world wants you to go
And still you don't know
That - all - that's - left for YOU

digression,
possession,

is what you strive for
what you'd die for
why don't you see

You lost your' chance
And now you'll have
To fight-
For another one

Now you should know
What's at stake
When you risk it all
And come out last

Don't you see irony
In the fate you've created
Now it's all returned
Right - back - to - YOu

obsession,
depression,

all you strived for
what you died for
obsolete now

You lost your' chance
And now you'll have
To fight-
For another one

Now you should know
What's at stake
When you risk it all
And come out last


transgression,
aggression,

It's over now
There's no hope left
Because you're gone

You lost your' chance
And now you'll have
To fight-
For another one

Now you should know
What's at stake
When you risk it all
And come out last

You lost your' chance
And now you'll have
To fight-
For another one

Now you should know
What's at stake
When you risk it all
And come out last

It's over
You lose

It's over
You lose

It's over
You lose

All over
We lose
Last edited by Tomo009 at Aug 30, 2008,