#1
Honestly i think its quite decent, but maybe be revised a little? All Opinions are welcome and would be helpful. Also if you have ideas for a bridge cause as you read, you're see that there isn't one. So opinions and suggestions for that are welcome to.
Thank you.


Girl come to me.
Underneath these broken stars.
Your voice is all I need,
Calling out from the dark.
Realize I never meant to hurt you,
After all that we've been through.
Zero tolerance for devotion,
Your love is like an ocean.

[Chorus]
Please,
Reel me in or let me drown.
I'm falling through the depths.
Never learned to swim
Cause you always held me up.
Every second like an
S.O.S

So sail your ship on by.
Through all your so many lies.
Thought you'd made up your mind,
Then you left me far behind.

[Chorus]

Sinking down below
Your stupid, shallow,
Words that don't mean anything.
Lying is the only thing,
That got us this far.

[Solo]

Girl come to me,
Underneath these broken stars,
Your voice is all I can hear.

[Chorus]

Please,
Reel me in or let me drown.
I'm falling through the depths.

Please,
Reel me in or let me drown.
Never learned to swim
Cause you always held me up.

Please,
Reel me in or let me drown.
Every second like an
S.O.S
Last edited by AOHL at Aug 30, 2008,
#2
Line 2 of the second verse doesn't read very well, but other than that, great lyrics. The idea of the song is a little overused in songs today, but you put a new spin on it. Great job.
Hello there.



I lurk a lot.



It's what I do best.
#3
Thanks for the advice and compliment, ill put some thought into changing the second line of the 2nd verse.. But yea thanks again.