#1
she's easy on the floor
i met her a month ago
she looks cute with her pretty hair
she loved me said she would care

threw a paper plane out from the tower
she said it wont fall but it will fly
i trust her with all my heart
never knew she would do what she did to me now

She don't care anymore
she seems nice but it was long ago
she don't love me said I was a bore
it was all just a real big lie
Quote by ATM*
cool, two reports in one thread. You, sir, are a superstar.

*reported*

*again*


i'm a superstar
#2
I'm assuming the basic, almost childlike nature of this piece is intentional, in which case it works well. It's simple and effective. The flow is a little bumpy, and whilst it doesn't hinder anything too much, I think you'd do better to count the syllables next time.

The paper plane bit is particularly good, and I think you could also benefit from using some other, less obvious statements of a similar nature.

C4C? https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=945016
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