Take away the triplet D's, and replace them with 2 quavers then crotchet. The triplet just makes the rhythm lose it's flow, and seems like you are just trying to make it flashy when it isn't.

As a whole, it's okay, far to repetitive. I have pieces with 4 times the ammount of ideas, but are shorter. If you add in vocals it might make a difference, but there is no apparent chorus.

78 onwards is cool, add in drums and bass, there is some things which need changing, a few off notes. It could sound cool though, just play around with it.
Last edited by Regression at Sep 2, 2008,
Thanks a bunch for your comment. But what do you mean by replace them with 2 quavers, then crotchet?
Yes, take away the triplet sign pretty much, and change the minim to a crotchet.

Edit: Seriously, 220 beats per minute? This is definately 110, it'd make everything so much easier to write.
Last edited by Regression at Sep 6, 2008,
thats really good, sounds like it could be a tool song.
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