Registered User
Join date: Dec 2007
611 IQ
Take away the triplet D's, and replace them with 2 quavers then crotchet. The triplet just makes the rhythm lose it's flow, and seems like you are just trying to make it flashy when it isn't.

As a whole, it's okay, far to repetitive. I have pieces with 4 times the ammount of ideas, but are shorter. If you add in vocals it might make a difference, but there is no apparent chorus.

78 onwards is cool, add in drums and bass, there is some things which need changing, a few off notes. It could sound cool though, just play around with it.
Last edited by Regression at Sep 2, 2008,
Registered User
Join date: Apr 2008
1,009 IQ
Thanks a bunch for your comment. But what do you mean by replace them with 2 quavers, then crotchet?
Registered User
Join date: Dec 2007
611 IQ
Yes, take away the triplet sign pretty much, and change the minim to a crotchet.

Edit: Seriously, 220 beats per minute? This is definately 110, it'd make everything so much easier to write.
Last edited by Regression at Sep 6, 2008,
Join date: Mar 2008
1,065 IQ
thats really good, sounds like it could be a tool song.
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