Slaytanic1993
Wakka wakka
Join date: Jun 2007
2,620 IQ
#1
I recently had an idea (after reading Bram Stoker's Dracula for the fifth time in the month), that along with another concept (trilogy) album(s), that I really want to write most of my black metal around Dracula's story.

Now that that binge is over, enjoy. A very good song, I think.
Attachments:
bleak.zip
R.I.P. Charles Michael "Evil Chuck" Schuldiner
B. May 13 1967 - D. December 13 2001

Quote by eggsandham2
cuz ppl hate how power metal they are cuz they think its "gay" or w.e, which is immature and dirogitory
bloodshed344
UG Newbie
Join date: Nov 2007
1,673 IQ
#2
I think it was pretty good, but some parts were iffy. I'll go in order:
The intro (first 8 bars) were fine,

The next riff was cool, but that tempo change seems really hard to pull off
there's some really good bass here too, good job on that, and the chord progression is great.

The drums at measure 25 are not right I'm pretty sure.

The drum interlude is a great idea, but it fell apart near the end of it, and gave no sign to the changing tempo as it should have. Keep the idea, but definitely work on it some.

Bars 37-44 are fine.

I really liked the melodic section, but I'm not too sure about the tempo change here.

Surprisingly the tempo change into "Black Metal Harshness" works quite well, even though it's not really very harsh.

The tempo change at 57 was unnoticeable and the riff itself is pretty cool.

Riff swapping part sounded similar to the last part, you should have changed up the drums here.

The chord progression here is cool, and the chromaticism gives it a very odd, almost happy feel while still maintaining it's dark atmosphere.

More Heavy was an average transition.

I already told you my thoughts on this riff, and it works well here too.

114-116 definitely helps add some variety.

I like the soft outro, and the quiet but fast drums here are cool.


Overall this was a good song, all it needs is a bit of work. Namely fixing the drums up and maybe adding something else for more variety.


If you wanna C4C check out Nonfluence in my signature.
Slaytanic1993
Wakka wakka
Join date: Jun 2007
2,620 IQ
#3
Quote by bloodshed344
it's not really very harsh.
.


Well, it's kind of hard to transfer "harsh/grim" guitarwork into MIDI .

Will crit yours eventually.
R.I.P. Charles Michael "Evil Chuck" Schuldiner
B. May 13 1967 - D. December 13 2001

Quote by eggsandham2
cuz ppl hate how power metal they are cuz they think its "gay" or w.e, which is immature and dirogitory
TMA-2
silly goose
Join date: May 2006
1,358 IQ
#4
i liked the chords, melodies, progressions etc. pretty much universally. the clean parts definitely had an opeth vibe. also really liked the fact the bass played more than the root notes :P props for not making boring basslines.

the one thing i didn't dig were the drums, throughout the whole thing. i'm not really well-aquainted with black metal, so i don't know if it's a stylistic thing or whatever but it's weird to hear the ride/bell fall outside the beat the enitre time. also, the dotted 32nd notes at m25 were distracting. maybe drums aren't your strong point. if so, i wouldn't mind writing some for it!

welp, aside from the drums, i thought it was great. just realized as well, the moving guitar harmonies are very similar to the ones in Anata's "Slain Upon His Altar
Slaytanic1993
Wakka wakka
Join date: Jun 2007
2,620 IQ
#5
Well, the drums were supposed to be chaotic and out of the general sync of the guitar parts.

Adds a much more aggressive side to the songs, in my opinion.
R.I.P. Charles Michael "Evil Chuck" Schuldiner
B. May 13 1967 - D. December 13 2001

Quote by eggsandham2
cuz ppl hate how power metal they are cuz they think its "gay" or w.e, which is immature and dirogitory
Slaytanic1993
Wakka wakka
Join date: Jun 2007
2,620 IQ
#7
Done.

Oops, the others are in there as well, but I'm too lazy to fic that
Attachments:
bleak.zip
R.I.P. Charles Michael "Evil Chuck" Schuldiner
B. May 13 1967 - D. December 13 2001

Quote by eggsandham2
cuz ppl hate how power metal they are cuz they think its "gay" or w.e, which is immature and dirogitory
Friendly Stoat
Call me Sam.
Join date: Jan 2007
1,094 IQ
#8
I really enjoyed that! Nice melodies, and I really liked the drum solo-y part. The mixture of harsh standard black metal-ness and the melodic side of the piece was great. It sounds dark and heavy but very melodic - my favourite kind of metal I'd definetly listen to this if it were recorded with proper instruments. I liked the use of acoustic guitars too - I don't listen to much BM but I've hardly ever heard acoustics used, so that was quite cool. I wasn't keen on the slightly out of sync drumming in places, although it worked well in others. That's my only real criticism, I could hardly find fault. Well written

C4C? Probably not to your tastes but hey https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=949005
Gear:
Schecter C-1 Hellraiser
Ibanez GRG170DX
Peavey Vypyr 75
Fender Princeton 650 DSP w/ Celestion 80w speaker
Its_Rock77
Anthony Green Fanboy <3
Join date: Jul 2007
1,501 IQ
#9
you didn't think I'd like this?

that was awesome. great sounding harmonies throughout the guitar parts. and some very beautiful acoustic parts in there too. I wouldn't really label this as "harsh" but it was definitely awesome. drums were kinda all over the place though. the beat the drums were playing weren't matching up with the beat of the guitars. some transitions were kinda sudden but as a whole it sounded great. some of the parts sounded kinda like something I would write. (I hope that's not hurting your pride. It was meant to be a compliment)
but awesome job.
...Nothing you've ever...
...Planned on ever turned out...
...The way you planned...


...You're still disappointing them...
Broadsword
The Wild Rover
Join date: Mar 2006
2,548 IQ
#10
Quote by Slaytanic1993
Well, it's kind of hard to transfer "harsh/grim" guitarwork into MIDI .

Will crit yours eventually.


I think what he means is the lack of anything evil or dissonant, or heavy. Because really, I didn't get a feel of agression from this. If anything, it was very, very melodic.

The only things I can fault here is the drum solo section (I really disliked it ) and the ending, in that it ended too suddenly for me.

Everything else is dead on superb, especially the drumming minus the massive fill lol. I've been enjoying your songs more and more with each one you post.

Another free crit, I guess. One of these days I'll have something to send your way...

EDIT: Actually, I just realized I never asked you crit the second song in my sig, so if you're game, that'd be excellent.
Last edited by Broadsword at Sep 4, 2008,
linfield4466
The Kvltivat0r
Join date: Dec 2007
1,015 IQ
#11
I can definitely see some Agalloch in there Which is of course a good thing. Very melodic and interesting in my opinion.

I give a thumbs up
Last edited by linfield4466 at Sep 9, 2008,
Slaytanic1993
Wakka wakka
Join date: Jun 2007
2,620 IQ
#12
Quote by Its_Rock77
you didn't think I'd like this?

that was awesome. great sounding harmonies throughout the guitar parts. and some very beautiful acoustic parts in there too. I wouldn't really label this as "harsh" but it was definitely awesome. drums were kinda all over the place though. the beat the drums were playing weren't matching up with the beat of the guitars. some transitions were kinda sudden but as a whole it sounded great. some of the parts sounded kinda like something I would write. (I hope that's not hurting your pride. It was meant to be a compliment)
but awesome job.


Actually I do take that as a compliment *looks at comments on your songs*
R.I.P. Charles Michael "Evil Chuck" Schuldiner
B. May 13 1967 - D. December 13 2001

Quote by eggsandham2
cuz ppl hate how power metal they are cuz they think its "gay" or w.e, which is immature and dirogitory
korinaflyingv
Pick Rich
Join date: Nov 2004
1,772 IQ
#13
That was pretty awesome
Didn't really like the drum solo, would have been better if you had cut it off about half way through...
However, everything else was awesome, especially the second clean guitar section (really original sounding) and i also loved the drumming.
Can't wait to hear some of your stuff recorded properly
whalepudding
UG Lovely Member
Join date: Aug 2005
954 IQ
#15
The intro sounds kind of weird in midi, but I'm sure it'd be good normally. It's not amazing, but it's good. The tempo change anc change to electric works really well, I like the melody going on in this part. It reminds me a lot of Aggaloch. The drums sound really odd in the section starting at bar 25, I'm not sure if I like it. The drum solo was okay, but it kind of broke the flow. The next electric part's pretty cool. I like the melodic section, but I don't really like that it repeats, unless there's going to be vocals there. The black harshness bit sounds good, and I just realised that the bass is doing something interesting, so that's good. The black metal parts from here onwards sound really good, they remind me of Agalloch a lot. I love the acoustic break, the acoustic riff just sounds wrong for some reason and I love it. It's not really dissonant, but the chromaticness makes it sound really cool and different. The "more heavy" part is pretty good, and the soft outro sounds good. I'm not sure about the transition from the heavy bit to the outro though, it's kind of too sudden I think. Maybe if you still had the electrics there, but gradually faded them out until it was just the drums and acoustic it'd be better, just an idea.

Anyway overall I really enjoyed it, I'd listen to it if you recorded it. And yes, Dracula is awesome. The only other real criticism I have is that there aren't any real climaxes in the song, and I think repeating some sections throughout it could do it good. It still sounds good though.

If ya could, could you crit mine? It's still on the first page somewhere, although I think I might have asked in another thread of yours.
I'LL PUNCH A DONKEY IN THE STREETS OF GALWAY
Last edited by whalepudding at Sep 23, 2008,