#1
The other night, I went to bed early, at 8:00, due to exhaustion from cross country practice and lack of sleep.

It was a night I would never forget.

Duhhh duhhh dummmm.

I woke up with a fright at 3:30 AM to the sound of this odd sort of whacking sound. Now, I've had bats before. In fact, a bat had found its way into my room three weeks before, to the day. They always seek out flesh very early Saturday mornings...

Back to the story, I start glancing around, trying to see the best I can if there's a bat in the room. The only light is the moonlight illuminating the night sky right outside my window. And that's when I first saw it- a small, dark silhouette streaking across my window. From the best I could tell, it looked like it was outside my window. I sighed with relief, but something deep inside me, maybe not so deep, told me that bat-shaped silhouettes usually didn't just hover right outside someone's window, and that that shadow I just saw was actually very closely related to that weird flapping sound I had woken from. So I did what any logical person would do: I turned on my light.

HOLY CRAP! Yep, there it was, flying around in circles in my room, completely ignoring me, flying even as close as a few feet from my head, running into walls, trying to land in the corners to escape the light. Whether it was from fear, confusion, or maybe chemical petrification the evil bat injected into me while I was sleeping, I just laid there with the covers over me for maybe three or four minutes. I watched the bat fly around my room and hoped it wouldn't land on my face and start clawing out my eyes. And then, a miracle happened.

My door happened to be open that night, to keep a cool draft moving through the room. And the bat happened to fly into the next room. I jumped up so hard I hit my knee on the bed and didn't even feel it as I stumbled to the door as fast as I could to slam it shut. But then I realized exactly why the bat had chosen to fly to the next room. It had me pinned down. Through that room was my only escape. I was surrounded.

My thoughts started to drift towards the window. I had an old rusty fire-escape ladder in my closet that my mom had gotten me in case of fire... But that's just being ridiculous, now. Then my eyes fell upon my cell phone. After weighing the possible outcomes, I decided to call my dad, in the downstairs.

"Hey! Dad. There was a bat in my room..."
"Ben, it's 3:30 A.M..."
"It's got me pinned down. I scared it into the next room. Help me out here."
"Good night."

Obviously, the bat saw the cellphone and knew that no one would come to help. He was probably in the next room laughing at the conversation. Bats are sadistic like that.

The only option left was my computer. My last link to the outside world. I quickly signed on to Facebook and realized that no one else was on. Shutting off my computer, I tried to come up with some path, some way to get past the bat.

I was a little jumpy by this time, and since I had church in a few days, I decided to practice organ for a while. Right in the middle of Healer of Our Every Ill, I heard this scratching/clawing/scurrying sound from my closet only a bat that was about to pounce would make. I weighed my options and figured that by getting downstairs as fast as possible, I could avoid the Second Bat.

After shutting off my organ, I cracked open my door and turned on the light. I didn't hear anything. I slowly peered around the corner...all clear. "What is this?" I thought to myself, "the bat is giving up?" Then, I realized what was going on. He wanted me out in the open. But after hearing the Second Bat in my closet make another frightful noise, I just went for it and dove for the stairs. As I looked down at the door to the Livingroom, I wondered if there was a bat there, in the darkness, waiting for me to run to my last chance at freedom. I bowed my head down and charged on.

I took my chances and won. I was free. Although my room was probably swarming with packs of bats, tearing at my clothes and furniture, surfing the internet, playing my organ, I was alive!

The moral of the story here, is to never try to overcome the forces of nature, or else you'll find the forces of nature can come over to try. Never! to is here. story the of moral the.

edit: tl;dr version....i had a bat in my room
Last edited by geetarguy13 at Sep 2, 2008,
#2
tl;dr
Did you know the odds of a Vault-Tec shelter failing are 1,763,497 to 1?

So imagine life in a Vault-Tec Vault. Not just a future.
A brighter future... underground.

Patrolling the Mojave almost makes you wish for a nuclear winter.
#3
Quote by FloyDZeD
tl;dr


Well put.
Quote by denizenz
I'll logic you right in the thyroid.

Art & Lutherie
#6
Quote by FloyDZeD
tl;dr


Indeed. All I got as I was scrolling down was:
Quote by geetarguy13
After shutting off my organ,


wat?


EDIT: Why did I read all of that?!

I'm expecting alot of "Russel wtf" comments. Because that's all I thought at the end. wtf?
Last edited by Tire Me. at Sep 2, 2008,
#7
walloftextwalloftextwalloftextwalloftextwalloftextwalloftextwalloftextwalloftextwallwalloftextwalloftextwalloftextwalloftextwalloftextwalloftextwalloftextwalloftextwalloftext
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#8
A bat? What a joke. Real men let full out raccoons in their room. Pussy.

Thats actually ****ing scary.
I'll believe in anything and you'll believe in anything.
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#11
I read it.

ALL OF IT O_o

Interesting...

My things:
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#12
Quote by Holy.
Good story.

Thank you, sir. No one else seems to be able to read more than a few sentences at a time without complaining about it.
#13
Quote by geetarguy13
Thank you, sir. No one else seems to be able to read more than a few sentences at a time without complaining about it.

Hey, it's a ****ing bat story, of course I'll read it.
LARGE TEXT
#14
I think the bat is the one that posted that hideous wall of text to distract us while its comrades set up for ambushes, waiting outside the room ready to pounce and drain our blood.
Put on some pants, its time to dance! -The Happy Phrase

Quote by Alice Cooper
The hippies wanted peace and love. We wanted Ferraris, blondes and switchblades.

Quote by RhyseOrtiz
Banned because... Disaster, you good sir, are a f*cking genius!
#15
(Invalid img)


"I has bat Pit


Guess where I put it..."


EDIT: Holy Big Pic!!!!
Last edited by Hot_Money420 at Sep 2, 2008,
#16
I'm gonna use this for English tomorrow
Extispicy: Predicting The Future Though The Study Of Animal Entrails...
#19
Quote by tyler_j
tl;dr <--- please, what does it mean?



I think I finally just figured it out... Too long; Didn't read?


EDIT: Woot, I got it!
#20
Quote by tyler_j
tl;dr <--- please, what does it mean?


too long; didn't read
#21
Quote by tyler_j
tl;dr <--- please, what does it mean?


Too long; Didn't read?

Just a guess

EDIT:
Wow...Late post is late.
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#22
haha, I thoroughly enjoyed reading that. Thank you.
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Haggard13 i are impressed
#24
tldr indeed. summarY?
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#26
Quote by RU Experienced?
You skipped the part where you get a tennis racket and beat the bat to death leaving a smear of blood and entrails on your wall.

I hate it when blood and entrails gets on my walls. So hard to get it off. On a different subject, anyone know how to remove massive amounts of blood from clothing and walls?
Put on some pants, its time to dance! -The Happy Phrase

Quote by Alice Cooper
The hippies wanted peace and love. We wanted Ferraris, blondes and switchblades.

Quote by RhyseOrtiz
Banned because... Disaster, you good sir, are a f*cking genius!
#27
That is as epic as Humankind - 1, Waspkind - 0.
McLovin is my hero!

It's not the going that the pit cares about.
It's the coming.
#28
Quote by JEP4
too long; didn't read


Lolsmobile
Quote by vintage x metal
My toilet has seen some scenes that one would describe as 'deathcore'
#34
Quote by Disaster Area42
I hate it when blood and entrails gets on my walls. So hard to get it off. On a different subject, anyone know how to remove massive amounts of blood from clothing and walls?

Oh I know, it's the worst.
#35
Quote by brentondig
Why in the sweet Satan did you play organ at 3 am?

I play for church, and I needed some practice.

I guess I forgot to include that.
#36
You're actually complaining? I wish there was a bat in my room. I would capture it and train it to become my personal attack bat. Only for self defense of course.
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#37
Quote by RU Experienced?
Oh I know, it's the worst.

The entrails aren't as bad but the blood. I didn't know puppies bleed that much.


I may have said too much.....
Put on some pants, its time to dance! -The Happy Phrase

Quote by Alice Cooper
The hippies wanted peace and love. We wanted Ferraris, blondes and switchblades.

Quote by RhyseOrtiz
Banned because... Disaster, you good sir, are a f*cking genius!
#38
I was expecting to get Bel Air'ed or something. Seriously.
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