#1
Another Religious Song. Please enjoy
(musically, it's more metal then your grandma's kettle)

The sound of trumpets rains down from the heaves.
Tonight it burns.
Much like the question that seers my mind,
What will become of me?

I knew this would come.
I saw it coming, but fair warning was not enough,
To prepare me for the horrors before me.

I am but a servant,
and I lack the strength,
To bear all this.

War drums of the forsaken
Beat in the distance
Calling for the week,
The Beast has risen.
He tempts me, He wants me.

I long to hear your voice,
I scream.
I scream for you to save me.
To pull me from this fire.

I am but a servant,
and I lack the strength,
But you have blessed me.

The white horse approaches,
like a flash of light,
It blinds me of everything I have ever known
Like Father to son, the rider tells me,
Everything' Alright.
You will be spared tonight.

I am a servant,
I have kept my hands clean,
And my forehead free of markings.
I will Dine with you.

This is the end of all,
Tonight justifies a lifetime.
This is the end of all,
Let me be without Doubt.
I am but a servant,
and I lack the understanding,
But let me be without fear,
Because tonight I dine with you.


questions, comments, criticism, hatred, love.
leave what you's like.
#2
I like it alot man. Really good. I'm just getting in to writing myself and this sounds good. I really like how you ask "what will become of me?". Also the part with the war drums is tight.
c4c? This is really the first thing i ever wrote and i need to get some of my other stuff on here. Its a feeble attempt at best...
https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=949866
Last edited by tjfishrocker at Sep 3, 2008,
#4
tjfish, thank you for the read and the insight. ill take a look at yours and try to give you small pointers, i apreciate it.
Fatal, nice try at a crit. i will look at yours and respond with a tasteless comment.
if anyone would like to help or give suggestions then i will be honoured to return the effort and give crit to the best of my abilities.

thanks