#1
I go to taekwondo right after my guitar lessons, so I take my guitar with me, cause there's down time before class where I can play without bothering anyone. This kid came to class and he hadn't been there in a long time; he quit, but comes back every few months/years. I was playing my guitar after class and he sat down opposite me and was kinda talking, but I was playing and not paying attention. I asked him what he said and he was like 'I can usually shred on the guitar....Can I see it. So, generous person I am, I let him play. He starts strumming the open strings really hard; I was surprised he didn't break any. He then proceeds to 'teach' me something. I was just kinda watching open-mouthed. Then he asked me if I had drums at my house. I said no, he acted surprised, and I told him it was kinda dumb to buy something so expensive if you can't use it and have no intention of learning how to. So then he says "So why'd you buy the guitar?" I used to like the guy, he was nice, but I had to do a double-take. Now I might not be able to play that well, but I am quite sure I played better than him. I just thought 'my what an arrogant prick you've become' and I would have said so, but my instructor was right there.
#5
you should have taekwondoed his ass then played a face melting solo to stop your instructor from punishing you
The Mitch Clem formula
1)make jokes about rancid and NOFX (as if they dont already make fun of themselves)
2)make obvious punk puns, possibly related to food
3)make fun of Rancid and NOFX again
4)??????
5)PROFIT (and an army of internet fanboys)
#7
Psshh, more like Tae cunt do.

We're only strays.
Last edited by Martyr's Prayer at Sep 5, 2008,
#9
Quote by emily92
I told him it was kinda dumb to buy something so expensive if you can't use it and have no intention of learning how to. So then he says "So why'd you buy the guitar?"



Fucking. Owned.
Funny words.
#10
Quote by metaldud536
Rape him.


No

Rape aint too cool
Quote by Kumanji
How about you don't insult my friend's dead mum, you prick.


Quote by JDawg
Too be he had to be a dick about his crayons.
#11
This reminds me actually... I was playing one of my Nyabinghi drums in college today and one of the new Year 12 people comes up and says hes a drummer and asks if he can play. Now, Nyabinghi drums are hand drums... So what does this idiot do? Pulls out some mother****ing drumsticks and breaks the skin on my drum... Now I have to send it to Westmoreland, Jamaica to get it repaired...
"We must become members of a new race, overcoming petty prejudice, owing our ultimate allegiance not to nations, but to our fellow men within the human community."
- H.I.M Haile Selassie I
#12
ive heard this story on numerous occasions with different settings and characters... but i understand.
Quote by MV4824
She's a "new girl".. when did she ship to your home? What condition was she in?

Make sure to give the seller good feedback on ebay.. we all know humans are just objects after all.
#13
I am intrigued, and hope you will post further events of your life that are as interesting, which will be a very hard task to accomplish as you have set the bar so high.

Oh and the bit about "why'd you buy a guitar" was absolute ownage.
Last edited by Union Jake at Sep 5, 2008,
#15
Quote by Union Jake
I am intrigued, and hope you will post further events of your life that are as interesting, which will be a very hard task to accomplish as you have set the bar so high.

Got on the bus with me daysavaaaa
#17
Quote by emily92
I go to_________ right after my_________ lessons, so I take my __________ with me, cause there's __________ before _________ where I can ________ without bothering anyone. This _________ came to _________ and he hadn't been there in a long time; he _______, but _________ every few months/years. I was __________ my ________ after class and he sat down opposite me and was kinda __________, but I was _________ and not ___________. I asked him what he ______ and he was like 'I can usually _______ on the _______...Can I see
_______. So, _________ person I am, I let him ________. He starts__________ the ________really ______; I was surprised he didn't ________ any. He then proceeds to _______ me something. I was just kinda _______ open-mouthed. Then he asked me if I had _______ at my ________. I said ______, he __________, and I told him it was kinda ___________ to _______ something so __________ if you can't _______ it and have no intention of learning how to. So then he says "So why'd you ______ the ______?" I used to _____ the guy, he was _____, but I had to do a _________. Now I might not be able to ________ that well, but I am quite sure I ________ better than him. I just thought '_______________________' and I would have __________, but my _________ was ________.


GO!
Quote by Chrisiphone
Oh wow this is a guitar forum!
Quote by JacobTheMe

Karvid is sexy

Quote by KAS1981
Why is it that some folks quote praise from other members in their sig lines?
Its lame.
#18
Quote by Martyr's Prayer
Psshh, more like Tae **** do.



Seriously though tae kwon do is such a shitty martial art. They primarily just use kicks and its really easy to predict when someones going to kick once you learn how. emily quit tae kwon do and take jujitsu or muay thai.
#19
Quote by PrimalScreamer
Seriously though tae kwon do is such a shitty martial art. They primarily just use kicks and its really easy to predict when someones going to kick once you learn how. emily quit tae kwon do and take jujitsu or muay thai.

Who's Emily and why should I care that she quit tae kwon do?
Quote by Chrisiphone
Oh wow this is a guitar forum!
Quote by JacobTheMe

Karvid is sexy

Quote by KAS1981
Why is it that some folks quote praise from other members in their sig lines?
Its lame.
#24
I go to the pool right after my hygiene lessons, so I take my dog with me, cause there's cats before large metal spikes where I can die without bothering anyone. This hot tranny came to long and he hadn't been there in a long time; he threw up, but ate puke every few months/years. I was snorting my PCP after class and he sat down opposite me and was kinda warped looking, but I was pumped and not horny. I asked him what he thought dieing felt like and he was like 'I can usually revive myself on the full moon nights...Can I see some PCP. So, dickish person I am, I let him F OFF. He starts trying to take it anyways the sh*t really pissed me off; I was surprised he didn't poop any. He then proceeds to sell me something. I was just kinda grabbing for me wallet open-mouthed. Then he asked me if I had ever been with a tranny at my pool. I said yes, he oh cool, and I told him it was kinda annoying to buy something so short lived if you can't keep it and have no intention of learning how to. So then he says "So why'd you puke the poopy?" I used to booger the guy, he was gay, but I had to do a tranny. Now I might not be able to sex that well, but I am quite sure I sex better than him. I just thought 'seeeeeeeeeeeex' and I would have gone home, but my swimming shorts was soiled.

I tried. Lost some steam there mid text wall, but I picked the ball up again.
We're only strays.
#25
I like where this thread went. I didn't get to finish cause I got kicked off the computer. I was just trying to say I hate people who assume they know everything and make fools of themselves
#26
Quote by IDread
This reminds me actually... I was playing one of my Nyabinghi drums in college today and one of the new Year 12 people comes up and says hes a drummer and asks if he can play. Now, Nyabinghi drums are hand drums... So what does this idiot do? Pulls out some mother****ing drumsticks and breaks the skin on my drum... Now I have to send it to Westmoreland, Jamaica to get it repaired...

yeah I don't think people understood that this is where I was going. Oh well it's just the pit anyway...
#27
Quote by IDread
This reminds me actually... I was playing one of my Nyabinghi drums in college today and one of the new Year 12 people comes up and says hes a drummer and asks if he can play. Now, Nyabinghi drums are hand drums... So what does this idiot do? Pulls out some mother****ing drumsticks and breaks the skin on my drum... Now I have to send it to Westmoreland, Jamaica to get it repaired...


aww dude you shoulda just skinned that bastard alive and used his skin for the drum. yknow, kill 2 birds with 1 stone?
#28
Quote by Karvid
GO!


I go to_sex class_ right after my_Dad ****s me___, so I take my _condoms__ with me, cause there's _no Pharmacy_ before I get there where I can _buy some_ without bothering anyone. This Fat bloke came to Class_ and he hadn't been there in a long time; he Has HUGE ****_, but sucks balls_ every few months/years. I was Suckin g__ my __Dick_ after class and he sat down opposite me and was kinda _Drooling_, but I was orgasaming and not in the mood_. I asked him what he wanted_ and he was like 'I can usually Suck_ on the _**** well good_...Can I see.
. So, _the homosexual_ person I am, I let him _Blow me_. He starts_Sucking__ the Bellend__really _WEll_; I was surprised he didn't _Swallow_ any. He then proceeds to _Finger_ me something. I was just kinda Orgasaming_ open-mouthed. Then he asked me if I had a jonny_at my HOuse__. I said I had one here, he Smiled_, and I told him it was kinda _Dirty_ to _do_ something so _Public__ if you can't _****_ it and have no intention of learning how to. So then he says "So why'd you _let me suck__ the _****_?" I used to enjoy gay sex with_ the guy, he was __hawt_, but I had to do a _Fat man_. Now I might not be able to __Shag__ that well, but I am quite sure I _got aids___ better than him. I just thought '_****ing hell that was weird__' and I would have _ejaculated_, but my Japsai__ was _sore_.

too easy
#29
I go to rape right after my rape lessons, so I take my raping knowledge with me, cause there's time before rape where I can practice without bothering anyone. This rape victime came to me and he hadn't been there in a long time; he's scared, but comes every few months/years. I was practicing my rape after class and he sat down opposite me and was kinda nervous, but I was ready and not worrying. I asked him what he liked and he was like 'I can usually sit on the fence...Can I see it? So, the person I am, I let him begin. He starts doing the thing really hard; I was surprised he didn't sweat any. He then proceeds to give me something. I was just kinda open-mouthed. Then he asked me if I had drinks at my palce. I said maybe, he giggled, and I told him it was kinda on edge to rape something so said if you can't take it and have no intention of learning how to. So then he says "So why'd you take the rape?" I used to rape the guy, he was *censored*, but I had to do a man. Now I might not be able to rape that well, but I am quite sure I rape better than him. I just thought 'RUSSEL WHAT THE FCUK' and I would have raped, but my raper was broken.


amidoinitright?
"And after all of this, I am amazed...

...that I am cursed far more than I am praised."