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#1
Okay I was sitting at my computer while my eight year old sister played that new Jonas Brothers CD at full blast, plotting ways to murder those three little sh*ts. Then an idea came to me. An idea so brilliant that doesn't require any murder.

I'm gonna start my own teen pop act.

Get a couple of friends together (obviously we don't have the whole brother thing, but who cares?) and sell ourselves to Disney as being the new Jonas Brothers just as their careers are beginning to fizzle out. Then, after recording an album about thinking about girls (no sexual references) and why it's so hard getting older, none of which will be written by us, we can make a load of money and have 12 year old girls screaming our name. Once we make a load of cash, we go on tour where the teenies will be queuing to hear us play our hits, but here comes the curveball. We won't play any of the sh*t on that album, but we will play our real songs which we (or more specifically I) wrote, with all the obscenities and sexual references. Between songs, we tell the girls to take their clothes off, do drugs, have lots of sex and tell everyone you hate go f*ck off. We can then make an appearance on Hannah Montana where I give Miley Cyrus her first joint and get her drunk, before destroying her chastity belt. By now Disney will have fired us, but our first record would be hit enough that we can live the good life for ever if we so please. Alternatively, we could make the music we'd always wanted to.

In short, we will be the anti-Jonas Brothers. Who wants to join me? I'm gonna need a bassist, a drummer and possibly another guitarist.
Quote by Cathbard
If all you had to go on was the forum you'd think a Decimator could cure noise caused by dodgey stage lighting and restock the ocean's population of sperm whales
#4
You can't, you're ugly.
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#5
Quote by Ex'sAndOh's
You can't, you're ugly.

Plastic surgery, my friend.
Quote by Cathbard
If all you had to go on was the forum you'd think a Decimator could cure noise caused by dodgey stage lighting and restock the ocean's population of sperm whales
#6
I can join ya, Miley needs joint, the world have had enough of Jonas Brothers, and i will endorse Pepsi bottles and get free soda whenever i want.

PS: I can play power chords.
...What!?
#11
I'm just throwing some ideas out there first to see if anyone actually agrees with me.
Quote by Cathbard
If all you had to go on was the forum you'd think a Decimator could cure noise caused by dodgey stage lighting and restock the ocean's population of sperm whales
#12
Blow them away by playing Cannibal Corpse, Mayhem, etc instead of the pop thing.
Follow the smoke toward the riff filled land
brutal
#13
Quote by Jackolas
Haha, I (think) I have managed to avoid hearing them so far.


me too.

Quote by valdean
Blow them away by playing Cannibal Corpse, Mayhem, etc instead of the pop thing.


make them listen to i cum blood alot
STEAM: beachhhhhhhh

Quote by cornmancer
Please daddy, just for one hour.
#14
Quote by Ergin


PS: I can play power chords.


As long as you don't have any threatening physical features (i.e. piercings, tattoos), you're hired.
Quote by Cathbard
If all you had to go on was the forum you'd think a Decimator could cure noise caused by dodgey stage lighting and restock the ocean's population of sperm whales
#15
Quote by valdean
Blow them away by playing Cannibal Corpse, Mayhem, etc instead of the pop thing.

Whatever we got. My thing is hardcore grunge, if we have a couple of br00talz metalheads that's all we need.
Quote by Cathbard
If all you had to go on was the forum you'd think a Decimator could cure noise caused by dodgey stage lighting and restock the ocean's population of sperm whales
#17
I'll play the bass!
Quote by sSyLc
Looking for a bj from an unsuspecting animal eh?
Member of The True Eccentric Tea Drinking Appreciation Preservation Society
Quote by denizenz
I came, I saw, I cleaned it up.
#19
Quote by aaciseric
Just grow a pair and stab them all, much more likely to work.


If this plan fails, I will find the old chainsaw, but right now I'm way more keen to beat them at their own game AND scar some tender innocent minds in the process. Does no one think about all the mental scars we could inflict on those 12 year olds?
Quote by Cathbard
If all you had to go on was the forum you'd think a Decimator could cure noise caused by dodgey stage lighting and restock the ocean's population of sperm whales
#21
Quote by shadow__666
and have 12 year old girls screaming our name.

If only it was that simple
#22
So how will this affect the Jonas Brothers?
Quote by kriscornella2@g
I know i wish i was as cool as you and be into Sum 41 and Taking back Sunday. Gaylord.

Quote by civildp1
you should call one of the songs, "Respecting Old People" just to mix things up.

Quote by вяaи∂ иєw
You just made a very powerful enemy BenFoffenbock.
#23
sounds like a f***in awsome idea, i can play bass or be another guitarand fill in for drums(cant play but doesnt stop those fags holding guitars and dancing around on stage). im in
#24
Quote by BenFoffenbock
So how will this affect the Jonas Brothers?

This is bigger than the Jonas Brothers. I'm out to destroy the entire Disney music machine. The Jonas Brothers? Everyone has to grow older some day (as far as I know Disney hasn't developed an anti-aging machine yet) and once they grow older they won't be able to get away with playing teeny pop any more.
But once they pass, Disney will just find another group like the Jonas Brothers who are willing to sell their musical souls for money and fame. Unless we bring it down.
Look, I'm drinking a lot right now. Cut me a little slack on the details.
Quote by Cathbard
If all you had to go on was the forum you'd think a Decimator could cure noise caused by dodgey stage lighting and restock the ocean's population of sperm whales
#25
WOW O.O
There's an add up there with them O.O
Need a name to my band

Ozzy and Zakk ROCKS



Fuc*ing bad gear:
Squier Strat
Squier amp [from de pack --']
pedal ZOOM G2.1x

In terms of buying:
Fender 100W amp
#26
I've thought about this and I want in, can I be the babe magnet who gets all the little girls
#28
Quote by wiggyisgreat
If only it was that simple

If this world has taught me one thing only (and I'm pretty damn sure that is the case) it's that stuff is as simple or complex as you make it. Also that 12 year old girls will do anything someone else tells them to do if they can be convinced its cool.
Quote by Cathbard
If all you had to go on was the forum you'd think a Decimator could cure noise caused by dodgey stage lighting and restock the ocean's population of sperm whales
#29
Quote by shadow__666
If this world has taught me one thing only (and I'm pretty damn sure that is the case) it's that stuff is as simple or complex as you make it. Also that 12 year old girls will do anything someone else tells them to do if they can be convinced its cool.

So you're saying I can have sex with 12 year old girls?
#30
I'm in for guitarist
Quote by saxaxe
YESI love you.


Quote by Wulphy
Ever stuck their finger in their ass, just to see what it was like? I did


Quote by thewho65
My sister has a big ass
#31
Quote by wiggyisgreat
So you're saying I can have sex with 12 year old girls?


If you can convince them that it's cool to have sex with creepy older guys, then pack your condoms.
Quote by Cathbard
If all you had to go on was the forum you'd think a Decimator could cure noise caused by dodgey stage lighting and restock the ocean's population of sperm whales
#32
I've only ever heard them mentioned on UG. What's all the fuss about?
#33
Okay I think we've got at least four guitarists (Excluding myself), one bassist and no drummer. Sure the little arseholes don't have one, but since eventually we become a real band it wouldn't hurt. If any of you can sing, I'll handle drums.
Quote by Cathbard
If all you had to go on was the forum you'd think a Decimator could cure noise caused by dodgey stage lighting and restock the ocean's population of sperm whales
#34
Quote by shadow__666
This is bigger than the Jonas Brothers. I'm out to destroy the entire Disney music machine. The Jonas Brothers? Everyone has to grow older some day (as far as I know Disney hasn't developed an anti-aging machine yet) and once they grow older they won't be able to get away with playing teeny pop any more.
But once they pass, Disney will just find another group like the Jonas Brothers who are willing to sell their musical souls for money and fame. Unless we bring it down.
Look, I'm drinking a lot right now. Cut me a little slack on the details.

Answer him but not me, even though I said the same thing first. It's okay, I'm not in the huff.


hate you
Got on the bus with me daysavaaaa
#35
Read the last line and that should explain why. I didn't see your comment.
Quote by Cathbard
If all you had to go on was the forum you'd think a Decimator could cure noise caused by dodgey stage lighting and restock the ocean's population of sperm whales
#36
Quote by weemansyndrome
Answer him but not me, even though I said the same thing first. It's okay, I'm not in the huff.


hate you

I was surprised at that as well
Quote by kriscornella2@g
I know i wish i was as cool as you and be into Sum 41 and Taking back Sunday. Gaylord.

Quote by civildp1
you should call one of the songs, "Respecting Old People" just to mix things up.

Quote by вяaи∂ иєw
You just made a very powerful enemy BenFoffenbock.
#37
Quote by smb
I've only ever heard them mentioned on UG. What's all the fuss about?

Me too. I've never heard them or even heard of them on the radio or T.V. or anything. I'm tempted to YouTube them, but if they're one of those teen pop acts, I can't be bothered wasting my time.
#38
All of you who haven't heard of them don't have little sisters.
Quote by Cathbard
If all you had to go on was the forum you'd think a Decimator could cure noise caused by dodgey stage lighting and restock the ocean's population of sperm whales
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