#1
i wrote these
tell me what you think


(Verse 1)
Different signals of Satellite running through my mind,
Communication and Airwaves leaving my brain behind
Todays Forecast Sunny Skies
These people are full of lies.


(Verse 2)
Hear the people Moaning and groaning these war crys.
The World is at a bitter end, People must stand up and defend
These Brainwashed Citizens must put up a fight
We have to know whats wrong and know our rights.

(chorus)

Forget the Politics and history.
have to find the real me.
I need the power to Control and Command
need the world to be in the palm of my hand.

(verse 3)

So climb that Rampart and see if your torn apart,
the things you need you know from the start
what youve been taught your whole life is wrong.
everything you need to know is in your song.
"Run like the wind
As excitement shivers up and down my spine"
#2
Yeah I think this is pretty good but needs a little work. Like changing a line or two. This like the 2nd line in this verse (Verse 1)
"Different signals of Satellite running through my mind,
Communication and Airwaves leaving my brain behind
Todays Forecast Sunny Skies
These people are full of lies."
Might do good as "Communication and Airwaves leave my brain behind"
I dont know but I figured I could try and help.
#3
Tighten it up. Find a rhythm and stick with it, sometimes you squeeze too many words into one line (see end of verse 2) Pretty good for a (somewhat) typical protest song.
#4
I really liked the flow of the song, and the message your sending out, IDK about what the others said, but I found flow throughout the whole song, great job, and keep up the work.