#1
This is just a song my drummer wrote, he isn't the brightest, and i hope you guys could decide wether or not to even try this song out. All right, lets go:


Smiling still,
I let you go,
cut the edge and watch it flow.

Dont Cry, man up,
you wont survive,
just lay down the gun,
so get in bed till you sleep
and try not to mess up the sheets.

The blood on the walls is more than proof
the girls you slept with are now gone,
get out of my house, from here on,
i dont want to see your face,
get out of my way, get outta my face.

*chorus*
Dont hold back,
lemme have it,
lets go,
No? No guts?
I didn't think so.
*chorus*

Your mother's sad, she's so depressed,
your father is a ****in' mess.
So, go back home and you'll be alright,
just stay at her place for the night.

*chorus*


End. so... creative critisism please, i know it isnt that great, he just felt the need to post it.
#2
It sounds like Opiate for the Masses type of lyricisms. To be honest, I would take the chorus and leave the rest.
NICKtothecore.
#3
...funny thing is, i haven't even heard of them... it's probably his favorite band or something >_<
#6
Dont throw out a song just cause the guys an idiot though man, revise it, save it, and use it on a rainy day when you need it.
#8
Quote by Insanitydenied
o..k.... he's really not much of a jock, but i told you he was pretty thick.


I knew he probably wasn't, I was just talking about his songwriting style. Whatever, if he keeps writing stuff he'll get better over time. I know because I've been in a similar position.
#10
it sounds kind of metal-coreish. Or something. I dunno. I kind of like it, actually. It has some clichés, but then, what doesnt? If he keeps writing, he'll keep getting better =)