#1
not much of a song writer but for the past 2 weeks if been trying to write something
hoping that it will get better.
anyway this song is a bit repetative not sure how to change it, and comment(s) would be good

I wish

i wish i could be like the bird sitting there in the corner
in is cage so solemly, contemp with everything
And every morning he sings out load to me
Even though he knows he'll never be free

I wish i could be more like the rain floating down on me
falling from the heavens so silently
even though they come from a dark cloud theres always a silver lineing
a rainbow at the end to take ur mind off it

I wish i could be more like the child over there
so unaware of everything ain't it bliss
so me give me a little kiss so i can forget about this
move on with what i was busy with and get a little rest


i wish i could, i wish i would
i wish, i wish i just don'y know


i'm wishing upon a falling star, thats falling from the sky
its going so fast it might just pass me by
maybe if i just take the time to realize
i'll see its just my imagination thats causing all this grief
#2
I think the best part of it was its simple honesty. Nothing fancy, but you convey your thoughts clearly and effectively.
The first stanza is perfect, just change comtemp to content and load to loud- typos, yes, but they messed me up while trying to speak it aloud

Same with the second, the silver lining thing is a bit cliche but you make it work- it fits with the overall simplicity of the work.

The third- liked the internal rhyme, the last line is just filler, though, try to add a little meaning to it, if you can.

The bridge(?) is good, just fix those typos- very much in sinc with rest of work

The last stanza is probably my favorite- stark, frank, blunt, yet powerful.

Overall, just tighten a few screws and you'll have a great piece of work!