#1
It was a internal rhyme from the beginning of time
I tried to find relief; it was just too much to conceive

It all began with them deep brown eyes
That enclosed all my ties
And when I saw them rise, I realized
Life is going to be fine.

But it was only a matter of time
Before that internal rhyme came to mind
It happens again and again
I don’t know if it’s starting or endin
There’s just no way out, so I have to shout

It all began with them deep brown eyes
That enclosed all my ties
And when I saw them rise, I realized
Love is something you need
Like the earth and the air
It’s hard to say that life can be unfair

if you are checking back you may of realied something new.
just finished i lied about not finishing for a while
well give me the verdict bad or good all of its appreciated
first song i wrote in about a year.
sooo im probably going to implement acoustics and harmonica if i ever get a chance.
dont be afraid of being harsh thank you.
Last edited by getrythym at Sep 7, 2008,
#3
Thanks that was what i was looking for.
im goin to try to complete soon i got a lot of school work.
#4
cool man it was good, keep working at it and it could be a good song, i see it as like an acousticy rock song, keep up the good work
#6
Very nice mate, i could hear a few diffrent styles coming from this, and i personally would love to hear a finished product, sounds very good in my head as an acoustic piece imo
#8
It has a nice flow,but like Fatal said it does feel as if something is missing. I can't wait for you to complete this so I can see the finished product.
#10
i like it alot man. good writing. it will be awesome once you finish it and fill in whatever it is missing. i dont know why but im seeing some music like sublime? lol. probably because im listening to them. c4c? https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=952704