#1
We all know how mood breaking a phone call can be at the wrong time, but what's the absolute worst thing to happen to you during sex (try and keep it clean)?

Once i ended up pushing using my foot to push the desk for thrusting. I accidentally kicked my computer, there was a bang and the next time i tried it nothing came on screen. Turned out something had blown the graphics card. Repair cost: £150.

You?
Ever wonder what rock would have sounded like in 2010 if grunge hadn't made it cool to be stupid?

The Three Aces
On UG profiles - On Myspace

Please mark yourself as a fan if you like!
#3
Once i ended up pushing using my foot to push the desk for thrusting. I accidentally kicked my computer, there was a bang and the next time i tried it nothing came on screen. Turned out something had blown the graphics card. Repair cost: £150.
UG'S SEXIEST TRANNY 2010

UG'S 3rd HOTTEST CROSSDRESSER 2011
#5
she woke up
Quote by St.Loony
Girls are complicated - Just turn gay and don't bother.


Quote by MightyAl
OK, so now, for Christmas, I'd like the ability to have an erection again.



Quote by smartguyreviews
one time i got up in the middle of the night to take a shit... and the toilet seat was warm....
#7
Well, my mate got caught in the bathrooms doing it by a teacher...
Makin love, makin love for two, makin love for two minutes... When its with me you only need two minutes... cuz I’m intense

Proud owner of the Anti Gnome Extermination Confederation.

Give me a yell if you wanna join!!!
#9
The worst thing is when you're giving it to her doggystyle
She turns over and produces a set of BALLS
Gibson Les Paul Custom Black Beauty
Tokai LC53 Les Paul Custom
Tokai ALS48 Love Rock Les Paul Standard
Marshall DSL-50 Head
Marshall 1936 2x12 Cabinet
#11
Quote by Johnny Trash
The worst thing is when you're giving it to her doggystyle
She turns over and produces a set of BALLS


and how many times has this happened to you?
Quote by St.Loony
Girls are complicated - Just turn gay and don't bother.


Quote by MightyAl
OK, so now, for Christmas, I'd like the ability to have an erection again.



Quote by smartguyreviews
one time i got up in the middle of the night to take a shit... and the toilet seat was warm....
#12
Doing your partner in the bunghole while she's wearing a thong, and then when it gets to a lot more pushing, her penis slips out.
私の名前はアジリョです

Quote by MarshmallowPies
I snapped my high E once and sliced my finger open, so I can only assume snapping the low E would put me into a coma or something.
#13
Once I was eating a clump of muff and she ended up pissing in my mouth (she thought she was going to orgasm)
I use a line 6 what of it?
#15
Quote by Muffin Murderer
Once I was eating a clump of muff and she ended up pissing in my mouth (she thought she was going to orgasm)


I think you win
#18
Quote by kman123
yell out a different name


that happened to me once.
Quote by St.Loony
Girls are complicated - Just turn gay and don't bother.


Quote by MightyAl
OK, so now, for Christmas, I'd like the ability to have an erection again.



Quote by smartguyreviews
one time i got up in the middle of the night to take a shit... and the toilet seat was warm....
#22
premature ejaculation
Quote by St.Loony
Girls are complicated - Just turn gay and don't bother.


Quote by MightyAl
OK, so now, for Christmas, I'd like the ability to have an erection again.



Quote by smartguyreviews
one time i got up in the middle of the night to take a shit... and the toilet seat was warm....
#24
Quote by FireandFlames
Her cat jumped on my chest while she was riding me and started clawing at me.


i like this one. that would have been hilarious.
Ever wonder what rock would have sounded like in 2010 if grunge hadn't made it cool to be stupid?

The Three Aces
On UG profiles - On Myspace

Please mark yourself as a fan if you like!
#29
Let's see...

Couldn't get it up. Finally got it up, tried to put it in, wouldn't go b/c she was too tight (not saying I'm too big). Finally get (some of it) in, and lasted about as long as a game of roulette.

Got to love the first time.

Also, during foreplay, my left leg fell asleep REALLY fast for some reason and I had to push her off to rub the feeling back into it. I thought she would laugh or something, BUTTTTT she just got mad.
Currently reading:

Crime and Punishment
The Age of Reason
Little Dorrit


"Illegitimis nil carborundum"
#30
One time my girlfriend and I were about to do it on the couch...

So she was straddling me sitting on my lap and I was about to slide it in and I smelled what smelled like the worst McDonald's fart imaginable.


I KNOW I didn't fart...


BTW I still ****ed her
#31
Quote by Lin
i like this one. that would have been hilarious.

Looking back on it, it kinda was. I had claw marks on my chest for two weeks.
#32
Once I was getting ****ed by this guy and he was using his desk as leverage to thrust. He accidently kicked his computer and broke it! Turns out he blew up his graphics card and had to ay £150 to get it repaired.
#33
Quote by Muffin Murderer
Once I was eating a clump of muff and she ended up pissing in my mouth (she thought she was going to orgasm)


/thread
Quote by dannyniceboy
I consider myself to be really intelligent and I've gotten into a fight coz this kid thought it was nasty to put sour cream on enchiladas.


Quote by Minkaro
The fact that I went TOO high singing a Darkness song on Singstar


DARK RED TEAM
#34
Couple of years ago a couple of minutes in I thought I'd gotten a massive cramp in my calf. I tensed up and she thought I'd cum (2 mins in). I was trying to explain to her but the pain in my leg wouldn't go away. I soldiered on, and it turns out I actually had deep vein thrombosis. Gay.
Quote by Hpda5121
im not a racist because racism is a crime, and crime is for black people

Quote by the dave
yeah man I put my hand up their skirt and pick em up like a six pack

Quote by Death_switch
mr bill0ws is right
#36
ill try to keep this clean...but there are two realyl really bad things you can do.

1.) she bends to far back and..breaks your bone(r)

2.) she gives you a bj, and just as she looks up and says lets do it, you let it out on her face.
#37
Once I was this computer ya know whatching these 2 people doin it. then that fatass dude kicked my damn face and knocked me out, he got me cured though. What a dumbass.
Avenged Sevenfold Fan, proud of it.