#1
Alright. So this is a song that i wrote. c4c as usual guys

Glimpses

They flash past me,
Little glimpses of hell,
Its not all that i see,
Just so fast i can barely tell

It might be you,
Maybe its me,
We know its not new,
I just want to be free

They flash past me,
Little glimpses of hell,
Alot more that i see,
Not so fast, I can tell

The pressures so high now,
Even more than ever,
All these people telling me how,
Their words so clever

I try for the right thing,
I do what I can,
The thoughts just cling,
Its all hit the fan

They flash past me,
Those glimpses of Hell,
I understand all that I see,
And how far I have fell

They flash pasat me,
Those glimpses of Hell,
Another choice, Im mistaken,
Oh God why am I forsaken?
#2
Quote by tjfishrocker
Alright. So this is a song that i wrote. c4c as usual guys

Glimpses

They flash past me,
Little glimpses of hell,
Its not all that i see,
Just so fast i can barely tell
nice start, nothing horrible so far lol

It might be you,
Maybe its me,
We know its not new,
I just want to be free
while the first two lines might seem cliche upon first read they are more than that and i like this verse

They flash past me,
Little glimpses of hell,
Alot more that i see,
Not so fast, I can tell
pretty much almost the same as the first, works well as a chorus

The pressures so high now,
Even more than ever,
All these people telling me how,
Their words so clever
nothing really to say, average verse

I try for the right thing,
I do what I can,
The thoughts just cling,
Its all hit the fan
i like the first two lines alot, the next two were just alrite

They flash past me,
Those glimpses of Hell,
I understand all that I see,
And how far I have fell

They flash pasat me,
Those glimpses of Hell,
Another choice, Im mistaken,
Oh God why am I forsaken?
good ending with the repeated chorus changing it up a bit on the last one


you got a solid one here, nothing too bad to say on this one. It might not change the world but it's a damn good song nonetheless.

Take a look at mine and lemme know whatcha think? Thanks- Matlock
https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=951796
#3
Quote by tjfishrocker
Alright. So this is a song that i wrote. c4c as usual guys

Glimpses

They flash past me,
Little glimpses of hell,
Its not all that i see,
Just so fast i can barely tell

good start man

It might be you,
Maybe its me,
We know its not new,
I just want to be free

first to lines are a tad cliché

They flash past me,
Little glimpses of hell,
Alot more that i see,
Not so fast, I can tell

works well as the chorus

The pressures so high now,
Even more than ever,
All these people telling me how,
Their words so clever

its a good verse man

I try for the right thing,
I do what I can,
The thoughts just cling,
Its all hit the fan

except the third line i think this is the best stanza so far

They flash past me,
Those glimpses of Hell,
I understand all that I see,
And how far I have fell

love it!

They flash pasat me,
Those glimpses of Hell,
Another choice, Im mistaken,
Oh God why am I forsaken?


nice change up on the last chorus, to me tho the song its just alright, it doesnt have any bad parts but it also doesnt have any great ones either, c4c?

https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=952009
#4
hey nice song!
the only real problem i found

The pressures so high now,
Even more than ever,(maby change to : greater than ever make it suiter with the ers,instead of the eve)
All these people telling me how,
Their words so clever

still very nice like the rest of your songs they all have a moral sense to them.