#1
That's right I am.

I was just happily munching away on a muller corner and one of the bits of chocolate escaped and landed next to me on the sofa. I was reading something on here so I just felt around for it and picked it up and ate it. It was all good until I realised I'd just eaten a woodlouse.

I was hoping to hear more idiotic stories from yourselves so I don't feel like too much of an idiot.
Quote by Karvid
You win this thread. And UG. I haven't actually lol'd at a post in a really long time. Thanks for changing that. I expect a sig


He expected this.

Something you definitely need to know
#2
i inhaled cake last night.

but your story sucks more
Quote by innertom
So much down syndrome

remember UG Community? thought so.
#3
Mmmmm...woodlouse.
Did you know the odds of a Vault-Tec shelter failing are 1,763,497 to 1?

So imagine life in a Vault-Tec Vault. Not just a future.
A brighter future... underground.

Patrolling the Mojave almost makes you wish for a nuclear winter.
#5
excuse my ignorance but whats a woodlouse?


and i yelled at my GF one time... never had so many scratch marks
#8
YOU WILL LOVE EACH OTHER
YOU WILL LOVE EACH OTHER
YOU WILL LOVE EACH OTHER
YOU WILL LOVE EACH OTHER
YOU WILL LOVE EACH OTHER
YOU WILL LOVE EACH OTHER
YOU WILL LOVE EACH OTHER
//////////////////////////////////////HEALTH
#9
That's really horrible.
██████████████████████
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██████████████████████
██████████████████████
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You'll Never Walk Alone
#12
i thought a second story window was there when it wasnt so i leant on it and just fell straight through. (the opposite of running into glass when you think its not there)
Quote by SlayedInTheFace
I would wank over all of you if I was a gay paedophile who liked simultanous gay wanking
#14
eeewwww, grotty.. haha

one time i found a huge rat about to attack my kitten, so i grabbed a shovel, and instead of squashing it, i put it under the wheel of my neighbour's 4WD, luckily he was getting ready to pull out... got to see the bastard's organs explode through its arse
#15
Quote by daniel.mycoe


One of them.

I feel so dirty!

Yes, to scale.

someone I know snorted a line of ants. Not sure of any story behind why.
Originally posted by WlCmToTheJungle "you have just received the amish computer virus. Since the amish dont have computers it's based on there honor system so please delete all of your files immediatly. thank you
#16
Quote by Caressing Death
Yes, to scale.

someone I know snorted a line of ants. Not sure of any story behind why.


Yeah sorry about that. I really can't be bothered to alter it!

Yeah, snorting ants, I can't think of any reasonable explanation as to why...
Quote by Karvid
You win this thread. And UG. I haven't actually lol'd at a post in a really long time. Thanks for changing that. I expect a sig


He expected this.

Something you definitely need to know