kylendm
Baronboi
Join date: Aug 2006
8,191 IQ
#2
Wow i have to say that was defiantly one of the better metalcore songs on here. I felt August Burns Red influence definitely just like you said. The leads were great. The Chorus everything. But here's some criticism. I thought maybe you could add another guitar for some more rhythm feel in some parts where the leads take place but its still good with out. also maybe at the end i felt it needed to build up into that breakdown for the final kind of well finally of the song. Over all great song and thanks for the crit as well on my song.
Guitars:
Ibanez UV777P
Ibanez RGD2127FX
Ibanez RG3120TW
Ibanez RGD7421
Ibanez SA160
Amps:
Baron Custom Amps K88
Randall RM100
Madison Divinity II
Cabs:
Mesa 4x12
Bogner 4x12
H&K 4x12
Its_Rock77
Anthony Green Fanboy <3
Join date: Jul 2007
1,501 IQ
#3
holy metalcore T&C!

the layered guitars at the beginning was absolutely amazing. great work making "not much" into a riff to give a double take.
this whole song was really well written. some parts were really boring. (namely the tremelo picking interlude in 6/4. please change that...) and others were stunning. chorus was really powerful. and vocals were very well done. I think the breakdowns could be redone. cause seriously, that exact same thing is in so many songs. :/ drums could really use less of those chinese crash or whatever. got really annoying.
and finally, please change this to the right key. all those accidentals were starting to hurt my eyes.

but overall, great work. it was really catchy while at the same time sounding very original.

could you crit mine? it's in my sig.
...Nothing you've ever...
...Planned on ever turned out...
...The way you planned...


...You're still disappointing them...
Regression
Registered User
Join date: Dec 2007
611 IQ
#4
Chorus is great.

Will only point out things I think could improve.

Bar 50, the rhythm, before the lead comes in, it just seems a bit to cut off. Staccato, whatever. When the tremolo picking initially comes in, it sounds great imo, but it starts to lose structure with the rhythm eventually. I'm not sure how you could fix that.

66-77 just seems kind of bland.

78 onwards is alright, it just, needs something to fill in the gaps.

Etc. have to go so yeah, have to stop here.
Daemos
Est 1989
Join date: Mar 2007
551 IQ
#5
Ahh, some metalcore! Don't usually listen to this kind of thing, but I do enjoy it, so it pleases me to hear such an impressive opening to this song, the harmony and melody both sound absolutely beautiful here. The chorus is excellent too, with the same excellent layering. I love the way you've kept the breakdown simple, and I actually enjoyed the 6/4 tremolo picking part. I'm not sure how well I think the part at bar 66 works though, sounds a little more strained than the rest. However the build up to that second chorus definitely does work. The outro is good too - there might be a better harmonic, natural or otherwise you could have used, but on the other hand I might be wrong.

Overall, this is a very impressive piece with alot going for it, and very little I can pin down as a negative. Well done! If you get the time, please crit mine, it's called Anubis - https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=954325
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Latest Original Recording
Jake the Peg
With an extra leg
Join date: May 2008
1,177 IQ
#6
it is amazing!
'If I were not a physicist, I would probably be a musician. I often think in music. I live my daydreams in music. I see my life in terms of music.' Albert Einstein
TeraBite
Registered User
Join date: Jan 2007
675 IQ
#7
this song suprised me

i noticed the drums were pretty good, i don't see much use of the chinese symbol

you need to write some lyrics for this, it would go well

the bit after the first chorus and the breakdown/outro sounds pretty decent too

my only crit is that the bass is very simple, somehow add some fiddly bits to it?

8/10

return crit? https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=948419
Last edited by TeraBite at Sep 10, 2008,
FlyingPooooo
Pardon the Insolence
Join date: Jul 2007
1,521 IQ
#8
I agree with everything stated on here.
I just suggest a bit faster tempo.
It felt draggy to me.

Breakdown was surprisingly good.
Almost seemed like you pulled it from ABR.
Props to you.

-Crit?
http://ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?p=16202358#post16202358
-Gear-
Mesa Triple Rectifier---Bogner/Line6 SpiderValve---Orange PPC 4x12

-Pedalboard/Rackmount-
Alesis MidiVerb4--BBE SonicMaximizer 442--Ibanez TS9
Boss DD-3--Morley Mark Tremonti Wah

-Guitars-
Ibanez ART-100
Ibanez S-470