Okay, so I wrote this tid-bit tonight while I was feeling a little blue over certain happenings. It's not complete, it only goes into the 1st verse, but I want to know what you think of it so far.

Influences... I guess it took a little A7X flavor once the distortion kicks in (at least that's what it reminds me of). And was a little inspired by Dream Theater to try some piano's/strings. But then again, A7X does strings and piano's too. I was just thinking DT when I put them in.

C4C as always Just leave me a link or I won't know where to go

Btw, what I have of the lyrics are available in the performance notes' Lyrics tab. Don't require a crit on those, but they're there if you wanna take a look.
Untitled Power-Ballad [GP5.2, GP4, MIDI].zip
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starts out quite nicely although pretty generic really. :/

when the lead comes in, you got some problems. I cringed everytime I heard an F# and there were quite a few. fix the "off notes" in the lead intro. F Naturals for the most part don't even sound good IMO, so I suggest you replace all the F's with something else.

then the verse picks up and it's nice again. I could see vocals taking this places. continue working. you're off to a good start.

crit mine? it's in my sig.
...Nothing you've ever...
...Planned on ever turned out...
...The way you planned...

...You're still disappointing them...
Were you listening to Metallica when writing this?

It's not bad, sounds nice, but not great. Also yeah, get rid of the F#'s.

If you ask me, it seems like you are just hitting whatever note you can find in the scale. Remember, a song takes time to craft. One interval can make a huge difference to a song. Consider this when selecting notes to use, don't just use something that sounds okay, you want something that sounds amazing.

Edit: Just read your post, cross the Metallica question. It reminds me of one of the Unforgiven though, yeah.
Last edited by Regression at Sep 9, 2008,
Heh, thanks for the advice guys. I'm planning on tweaking that solo every once in a while anyway, so thanks for a good suggestion with those F# notes.

And I can see where you're reminded of the Unforgiven because it's the same general chord progression :P Idk, I guess I should've added Metallica to my list of influences since like ALL of their ballads use these 4 chords, and that's where I kinda picked it up from.

I'll have an update of this up probably by the end of the night
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I dont mind the F#'s at all. It seems like the song is in Em, except for the Emajor chord. It has a G#. Feel free to correct me if im wrong.

I changed all the G#'s to G naturals and i liked the sound a lot more. Try that and see how it sounds to you.

I agree with Its Rock when he says its generic.
Thanks for another suggestion. Yeah, I realize the generic-ness, and that's not really something I'm too worried about presently. I'm going to be adding/subtracting things as I go, but hey, I wrote that in like an hour or two, so it didn't really get to undergo any drastic changes.

Anyway, here's an update. It's pretty cool. Let me know what you think (and the title has changed from "Here I Am" to "A Break In Reality", just because I started coming up with better lyrics.) :P
A Break In Reality [GP4, GP5.2, MIDI] UPDATE.zip
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