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#1
This is now my second year at guitar in high school, and part of the curriculum is that we are to right a song, and then record it.

I came home today thinking, alright I'll give it a try. So here I am, stuck with nobody to ask but a bunch of random people on the internet

So I was hoping you guys could help me out, this is what I have so far, and yes I know it's cheesy as ****, but it doesn't have to be great, just alright.

Ooh I see you standing over there
Looking so pretty with your golden hair
G Cadd9 D C

Oooh yeah yeah I wanna stop and talk to you
G Cadd9 D C
But if I do donno what I'll say to you
G C D
Sometimes I see you walking down the halls
D5 D G/D Cadd9
I turn to talk but my feet seem to stall
D5 D G/D Cadd9
it doesn't matter any way
Cadd9 F# Cadd9 G
I don't know what I'd say
Cadd9 F# Cadd9 G

So What next, scrap it, change something, or add more?


Edit: oh, and the spacing didn't work, I had the chords under where to play, but it doesn't seem to have turned out that way...


Second attempt

I had the chords under where to play
but it doesn't seem to have turned out that way
All time time spent writing a song
It turns out to sound cheesy and wrong

So please won't you help with the song I have to write
I want every word n every line to sound right
Oh won't you please lend me a hand
I want to write a songs like my favourite rock n roll band

Hey sure it might sound bad
But it's definitely better then before
Oh the trouble from this is driving mad!
The stress from all the work is making me sore

So won't you please lend me a hand
I wanna write songs like my favourite rock n roll band
Something one of a kind and new
Something like what one of them would do

I tried all the tricks and tips you told me do
But even after I still had no clue
Try after try it never sounds right
A new sheet of paper big blank and white

Oh So won't you please lend me a hand
I want to write songs like my favourite rock n roll band
Something great to be played on the radio
Something to get me playing my first show
Quote by 20cdndollars
You are god, floppypick



Floppydick


If that's how you read my name, leave a message saying so on my profile
Last edited by floppypick at Sep 9, 2008,
#2
Write from the heart.
Quote by Pookie6
Yngwi3, You win this whole monstrosity of a thread.

Quote by uk.mace
For the best tingle, use Original Source mint. That shit feels amazing on your balls.


Godfather of The Diezel Mafia
#3
Turn it less cheesy and it could be okay. Also people will laugh at you if it's about love. Take the piss and have a song that will make them smile.
Quote by HuckIt
I didn't find it that funny when I saw myself doing him in missionary position...

Quote by Oblivion_Rps
I was having sex with a female dolphin. In the dream I was like:
"YEEEEEEEAAAARGH I'M SCREWIN' A FEMALE DOLPHIN!!!" and when I woke up I was like:
"... wtf"
#4
Quote by Yngwi3
Write from the heart.


This.

Write about a girl, an event, anything. Hell mark down ideas for now then work on rhymes later.
Add me or I will eat your kitty!



^Click the heart baby, you know you wanna.^

Quote by Sammythedruggie

touche sir.
#7
Scrap it. go for it Slayer style.

E|-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
B|-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
G|-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
D|-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A|-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
E|0-0-0-0-0-0-0-00-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-00-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-00-0-00-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-00-00-0--0-0-00-0-0-0-0
ALWAYS

WANNA BE WITH YOU,
MAKE BELIEV
E WITH YOU,
AND L
IVE IN HARMONY, HARMONY,



OH, LOOVE!
#9
just there and jam,thats how i rite stuff for my band,it works
Quote by RU Experienced?
I like staring at girls' boobs and seeing how long it takes them to say something and what their reaction is. It's win-win-win


Quote by darkstar2466
I once saw two snails fuck. It was pretty damn cool.
#10
Nah! Keep it cheesy, REAL cheesy. Then add a really anthmetic chorus and riff, and you've gone done yourself a hair metal song! OH YEAH! Then join my club. It's in the sig.
#12
Quote by SG Man Forever
Scrap it. go for it Slayer style.

E|-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
B|-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
G|-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
D|-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A|-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
E|0-0-0-0-0-0-0-00-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-00-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-00-0-00-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-00-00-0--0-0-00-0-0-0-0



Double post sorry, but
#13
Put your penis in a bowl of ramen noodles and see many crawl up your urethra.
Quote by 2 15/16
I'm hearing a steady *thump thump* from the people above me and I need some porno grooves to play on my bass to give them some background music. Any ideas?


┌( ಠ_ಠ┘┌( ಠ_ಠ┘┌( ಠ_ಠ┘┌( ಠ_ಠ┌( ಥ_ಥ┌( ಠ_ಠ┘┌( ಠ_ಠ┘┌( ಠ_ಠ┘┌( ಠ_ಠ
#14
Quote by Wiirdo
Turn it less cheesy and it could be okay. Also people will laugh at you if it's about love. Take the piss and have a song that will make them smile.


Thanks man, that's sort of what I was thinking
Quote by 20cdndollars
You are god, floppypick



Floppydick


If that's how you read my name, leave a message saying so on my profile
#15
Quote by SG Man Forever
Scrap it. go for it Slayer style.

E|-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
B|-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
G|-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
D|-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A|-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
E|0-0-0-0-0-0-0-00-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-00-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-00-0-00-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-00-00-0--0-0-00-0-0-0-0

Quote by Pookie6
Yngwi3, You win this whole monstrosity of a thread.

Quote by uk.mace
For the best tingle, use Original Source mint. That shit feels amazing on your balls.


Godfather of The Diezel Mafia
#16
you could go the class clown approach and make it intentionally funny. it's hard to pull this off well though if you aren't comfortable with it
#18
Quote by SG Man Forever
Scrap it. go for it Slayer style.

E|-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
B|-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
G|-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
D|-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A|-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
E|0-0-0-0-0-0-0-00-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-00-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-00-0-00-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-00-00-0--0-0-00-0-0-0-0



no this is slayer
|----------------------|
|----------------------|
|-7-6-----5-4---3---|
|-7-6-7-6-5-4---3--|
|-5-4-7-6-3-2-3-1-|
|-----5-4-----3------|
Quote by RU Experienced?
I like staring at girls' boobs and seeing how long it takes them to say something and what their reaction is. It's win-win-win


Quote by darkstar2466
I once saw two snails fuck. It was pretty damn cool.
#19
Quote by floppypick
Thanks man, that's sort of what I was thinking


No problem man.
Quote by HuckIt
I didn't find it that funny when I saw myself doing him in missionary position...

Quote by Oblivion_Rps
I was having sex with a female dolphin. In the dream I was like:
"YEEEEEEEAAAARGH I'M SCREWIN' A FEMALE DOLPHIN!!!" and when I woke up I was like:
"... wtf"
#20
keep the lyrics, scrap the chords, learn how to do a proper death growl, and writ it into a brutal death metal song, its what i do
Warning: The above post may contain lethal levels of radiation, sharp objects and sexiness.
Proceed with extreme caution!
#21
Quote by floppypick
This is now my second year at guitar in high school, and part of the curriculum is that we are to right a song, and then record it.

I came home today thinking, alright I'll give it a try. So here I am, stuck with nobody to ask but a bunch of random people on the internet

So I was hoping you guys could help me out, this is what I have so far, and yes I know it's cheesy as ****, but it doesn't have to be great, just alright.

Ooh I see you standing over there
Looking so pretty with your golden hair
G Cadd9 D C

Oooh yeah yeah I wanna stop and talk to you
G Cadd9 D C
But if I do donno what I'll say to you
G C D
Sometimes I see you walking down the halls
D5 D G/D Cadd9
I turn to talk but my feet seem to stall
D5 D G/D Cadd9
it doesn't matter any way
Cadd9 F# Cadd9 G
I don't know what I'd say
Cadd9 F# Cadd9 G

So What next, scrap it, change something, or add more?


Edit: oh, and the spacing didn't work, I had the chords under where to play, but it doesn't seem to have turned out that way...


Hell, if it is for homework turn it in. I mean it isn't that bad.
Due what you want as long as you vote Due!
#22
Quote by SG Man Forever
Scrap it. go for it Slayer style.

E|-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
B|-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
G|-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
D|-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A|-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
E|0-0-0-0-0-0-0-00-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-00-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-00-0-00-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-00-00-0--0-0-00-0-0-0-0


Or, if you're going for a more metalcore approach...

E|--------------------------------------------------------------------42*----------------
B|---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
G|---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
D|---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A|----7-----6----------8-7-6------7----1-------0--2-3-4-5----------6-----------4-5-6-7---
E|0-0---0-0---0-00-0-0-------0-0-0-00-0-0-0-0-0-0---------0-00-0-0-------0-0-0----0-0--0-
#23
Quote by SG Man Forever
Scrap it. go for it Slayer style.

E|-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
B|-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
G|-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
D|-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A|-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
E|0-0-0-0-0-0-0-00-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-00-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-00-0-00-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-00-00-0--0-0-00-0-0-0-0

#24
Quote by saitenslayer
no this is slayer
|----------------------|
|----------------------|
|-7-6-----5-4---3---|
|-7-6-7-6-5-4---3--|
|-5-4-7-6-3-2-3-1-|
|-----5-4-----3------|



you forgot the whammy bar harmonics!!!!!
ALWAYS

WANNA BE WITH YOU,
MAKE BELIEV
E WITH YOU,
AND L
IVE IN HARMONY, HARMONY,



OH, LOOVE!
#25
Quote by SG Man Forever
Scrap it. go for it Slayer style.

E|-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
B|-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
G|-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
D|-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A|-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
E|0-0-0-0-0-0-0-00-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-00-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-00-0-00-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-00-00-0--0-0-00-0-0-0-0

Close. You need some of this, too:
e|------------------------------------------------
B|------------------------------------------------
G|------------------------------------------------
D|------------------------------------------------
A|------------------------------------------------
E|5-3-2-0-6-5-3-0-5-3-2-0-6-5-3-0-5-3-2-0-6-5-3-0-
#26
Those lyrics need to be scrapped for a first.
Posted By Joth
BassyJoey has a sweet toosh!
#27
in honor of the pit, i believe you should use Pet Teh Kitteh as your song. it would get epic lols
#28
Quote by SG Man Forever
Scrap it. go for it Slayer style.

E|-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
B|-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
G|-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
D|-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A|-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
E|0-0-0-0-0-0-0-00-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-00-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-00-0-00-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-00-00-0--0-0-00-0-0-0-0


good one! this might work!
#29
Quote by punkforlife93
Or, if you're going for a more metalcore approach...

E|--------------------------------------------------------------------42*----------------
B|---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
G|---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
D|---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A|----7-----6----------8-7-6------7----1-------0--2-3-4-5----------6-----------4-5-6-7---
E|0-0---0-0---0-00-0-0-------0-0-0-00-0-0-0-0-0-0---------0-00-0-0-------0-0-0----0-0--0-


Hitting the pinch harmonic on the forty-second fret of the high e string might be a little tricky though...
#31
Quote by punkforlife93
Or, if you're going for a more metalcore approach...

E|--------------------------------------------------------------------42*----------------
B|---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
G|---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
D|---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A|----7-----6----------8-7-6------7----1-------0--2-3-4-5----------6-----------4-5-6-7---
E|0-0---0-0---0-00-0-0-------0-0-0-00-0-0-0-0-0-0---------0-00-0-0-------0-0-0----0-0--0-


No no no no. If it's metalcore it's got to be in drop D.
ALWAYS

WANNA BE WITH YOU,
MAKE BELIEV
E WITH YOU,
AND L
IVE IN HARMONY, HARMONY,



OH, LOOVE!
#32
no this is slayer
|----------------------|
|----------------------|
|-7-6-----5-4---3---|
|-7-6-7-6-5-4---3--|
|-5-4-7-6-3-2-3-1-|
|-----5-4-----3------|


you mean that?

EDIT: to help, write about the most controversial subject you can think of, satan, death, abortion, etc. the teacher will appreciate your bravery

and flat 5ths, lots of em!!!
Last edited by noname666 at Sep 9, 2008,
#34
write about a cheeseburger...in paradise!
MY MUSIC!

Quote by severed-metal

Strawberries are cool in real life, but in ice cream, they're like neighbour kids who live across the street from you who like to steal your virginity.


Gear:
Schecter Hellraiser C-6 FR, C-7 FR, C-8
ESP LTD MH-250 w/ EMG 81/85
#35
Hmm, well are the chords alright?

Because the lyrics I can rewrite no problem.
Quote by 20cdndollars
You are god, floppypick



Floppydick


If that's how you read my name, leave a message saying so on my profile
#36
Quote by noname666
and flat 5ths, lots of em!!!

Everything needs lots of those, though.

Mmm... tritones...
#37
My apologies, but those lyrics are waaaaaaaay to cheesy, write about an issue thats wrong with the world, or tell a story in song form.
Quote by cakeandpiemofo
Of course I don't wanna go in the woods. There's bears in there.


Quote by Deliriumbassist
Jeff Ament is a sexy sexy beast.



Quote by Karvid
Yes. Chest hair = automatic awesome. Even if you're a woman.
#38
Quote by slaptasticdave
My apologies, but those lyrics are waaaaaaaay to cheesy, write about an issue thats wrong with the world, or tell a story in song form.


No man, I completely understand you

I knew it was cheesy as I said.
But thanks, I'll try a rewrite.
Quote by 20cdndollars
You are god, floppypick



Floppydick


If that's how you read my name, leave a message saying so on my profile
#39
Do what Iron Maiden seem to do for every one of their songs: watch a movie or read a book- then write about it with a solo mashed in there somewhere
UG'S SEXIEST TRANNY 2010

UG'S 3rd HOTTEST CROSSDRESSER 2011
#40
If I were you, I do something totally Spinal Tap. Start with an acoustic intro, just a few chords and licks. Then you go into an aggressive riff and describe a witches sabbath. Skulls, demons, witches, sulfur in the air... whatever, it doesn't need to make sense. Put in a catchy chorus that people can sing along to. Then slow and mellow it down for a few moments and then build up to the main riff again and sing another verse before going back to the chorus which fades out.

Just keep it all pretty simple. There is genius in simplicity.
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