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#1
so me and my friend were going through the wendys drive through late at night and we made eye contact with the workers chillin in the restaraunt waiting for some buisness. We pull up all giggling, trying to hold it in. The person says hi can i take your order? and we just starting laughing so hard no noise even came out of our mouth. At the time we just toked it up. So we sit there circle around and reorder. I donno why it was so funny but I died laughing.
#2
This thread...

Or your face!

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#3
wat
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Die Ruhe vor dem Sturm.
#7
yeah man, i me and my cousin were a few cones in when we decided to make a video... on playback, it was the noises we made in synch with the expressions on our faces that had us ****ing dying of laughter lol.
A U S S I E
#8
I guess it's one of those things where you had to be there.... right?...
Quote by red18420
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#9
anne frank jokes
d[(x)(x)]b

Quote by TomD03

we'd sit in the basement and i'd do a little "I'll show u mine if you show me yours" so i had 3 baby vaginas staring at me


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#10
Quote by metaldud536
Union Jake


AGREED!
Quote by Union Jake

Long story short, 10 minutes later we were all sat there jerking off. (Our own, not each others)

Quote by Union Jake
How am i gay? I was jerking it to the women, and i didn't look at my roomates things.
#12
So I was running through this pool of marshmallows in my flip flops, right? And then the manager comes running out of nowhere and he starts going "HHHHNNNHMMM HUNNNHMM!!!!!! HHMMMMMM!!!". There was only 18 seconds to eject before the bowling alley closed, and then my friend Tom was there, but he didn't look anything like Tom.

I love cheese.


¬_¬
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Saxo-Walrus

Steam & PSN ID: Panopticon20
#15
Quote by fallenangel20
So I was running through this pool of marshmallows in my flip flops, right? And then the manager comes running out of nowhere and he starts going "HHHHNNNHMMM HUNNNHMM!!!!!! HHMMMMMM!!!". There was only 18 seconds to eject before the bowling alley closed, and then my friend Tom was there, but he didn't look anything like Tom.

I love cheese.


¬_¬



took me a second to remember what that was from but haha
#16
Quote by thellamafarm
false

MY story makes a whole lot more sense than yours.
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Saxo-Walrus

Steam & PSN ID: Panopticon20
#22
My cousin and I were in a small wooded area outside an apartment complex near his house. We found a small clubhouse someone was building and he required the use of bathroom facilities. Instead of walking the 300 yards to his house, he elected to defecate in said under construction clubhouse. He entered and I was forced to hear his moaning as he did his business. After five minutes in there, he waddled out with his pants around his ankles and his ass in the breeze. He looked at me and plainly said, "I have to get leaves." He did so. He went back in for a few moments and came out seemingly done. We departed the scene of the crime though not before he reached into the back his trousers and pulled out handful after handful of leaves which he had somehow neglected to remove from between his buttocks. Let me tell you, he is not mentally retard.

tl;dr

My cuz shat in some kids clubhouse.
Last edited by Trefellin at Sep 9, 2008,
#23
Yo im high as hell and i was ****ing dying when i saw "can i take your order", hahahahaahhahaha lmao one time i was baked and we went to white castle and the guy goes "welcome to the crave zone," i was unable to breathe i laughed so hard if was all good though lol hahahahahahaha
#25
did u have to share ur story that mkes no absolute sense and a story that isnt funny at all
Current Gear:
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#26
OMG one time I was workin at windy's you know just chillin' with my friends waiting for customers to come in, and we were all toked, and then these dudes pulled up and they just started laughing, and they kept driving through. I died laughing.
Quote by C O B H C
If you want to get really technical about it..

1. Grab sticks.
2. Bang sticks on drums.


^how to play drums.


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#27
My father was a drinker...and a fiend. One night he goes off crazier than usual, mommy gets the kitchen knife to defend herself. He doesn't like that. Not. One. Bit. So, me watching, he takes the knife to her, laughing while he does it. Turns to me and says "Why so serious?" Comes at me with the knife-"Why so serious?" Sticks the blade in my mouth-"Let's put a smile on that face"
And...

Why so serious?
" When the power of love overcomes the love of power, the world will know peace."-Jimi Hendrix
#28
Man, pizza is ****ing best kind.
Quote by LedZepKicksAzz
You are simply the greatest person ever to walk this great planet.
#29
Quote by 36mikeyb36
Yo im high as hell and i was ****ing dying when i saw "can i take your order", hahahahaahhahaha lmao one time i was baked and we went to white castle and the guy goes "welcome to the crave zone," i was unable to breathe i laughed so hard if was all good though lol hahahahahahaha


hahah man this one time me and my friends went down to mcdonalds and we all placed our order and were sitting at a table not far from the cashier so we heard the last guy speak to order and hes like "yo. you got any of them... big macs?" and he said it in such a way that she thought he was coming onto her lol.

we f*cking shit right then and there man it was hilarious.
A U S S I E
#30
Quote by Jcore44
hahah man this one time me and my friends went down to mcdonalds and we all placed our order and were sitting at a table not far from the cashier so we heard the last guy speak to order and hes like "yo. you got any of them... big macs?" and he said it in such a way that she thought he was coming onto her lol.

we f*cking shit right then and there man it was hilarious.

.....What did you do with your pants? o_O
Voted 3rd Friendliest User of UG 2010

BUILD A TIME MACHINE, AND JERK OFF IN IT, AND SEND IT TO HITLER!


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Steam & PSN ID: Panopticon20
#31
i dont know if all of you are familiar with the buritto restaurant chipotle... but i had to sneak on of those enormous burittos into a movie theater, in my pants... i twisted the top end of the bag and secured it with my belt so that the buritto was basically just hanging inside the crotch of my pants.

basically it looked like my unit was so big i had to limp. none of us had straight faces when we walked into that theater. hardest ive laughed.. ever
Quote by Union Jake

Long story short, 10 minutes later we were all sat there jerking off. (Our own, not each others)

Quote by Union Jake
How am i gay? I was jerking it to the women, and i didn't look at my roomates things.
#32
Quote by yellowshirtguy
OMG one time I was workin at windy's you know just chillin' with my friends waiting for customers to come in, and we were all toked, and then these dudes pulled up and they just started laughing, and they kept driving through. I died laughing.

Oh not this...
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#33
Well in all seriousness:

My friend and I were in Wal Mart. We are both... odd... people, and love messing with other people's minds. I have a very unique sound that I can make with my mouth, and she also has a dolphin/pterodactyl-sounding call that she can do without moving her mouth.

We would walk around Wal Mart and do our noises, and then look around like we didn't know where they were coming from - maybe one of those things where you had to be there.

Also, they had a HUGE trampoline on display, and we would stand near it, and when single ladies (or any females in general) would walk under it, we'd yell things like, "Damn, look at that tramp!" or "I wanna bounce all over that tramp there!" We got a lot of looks. Great success.

Finally, we cooked up this plan to have her fake faint. She laid down some ground rules - don't let them call anyone, and don't let them give you water, because they might charge us for it. Continuing on; we're standing next to each other looking at movies, and she gives a countdown, and then just goes down somewhat slow, sprawling across the floor. I whip around and say something like, "Oh no, not again." I'm fanning her face with my hand, and both of us throughout the whole thing are trying so hard not to smile/laugh. The manager comes up, asks if he should call anyone, and asks if I need anything, since I told them that she does this all the time, and she'll be fine really soon.

I asked, "I dunno, do you have like, any free water?" and a clerk came back later on with a Dasani, and I mentioned I didn't have money to pay for it - he said it wasn't a problem. Then they offered a wheel chair, to which we gladly said yes to. I would wheel her around and we continued doing our noises for a while... blaming some on the wheelchair's squeaky wheels or something outrageous.

Then we devised something we thought was comedic genius: I'd let her sit in her wheelchair while I turned to act like I was interested in a product. She would then wheel her ass out of there into a big aisle, and I'd chase her. We only did this with people watching, and their faces were priceless.

And then - the last time... in the vacuum aisle; I set her next to me, and mention something about how "this vacuum would have good suck." She wheels off, and gets about half way down the aisle before she runs into a box that was sticking out, and stops dead in her tracks - right in front of some Hispanic man who had no idea what was going on. I saw everything in my peripherals, and dropped to the ground because my knees weakened from the hilarity of it all. I think her wheel caught, and she just turned right into the heavy box on the lowest shelf, and stopped then and there - it was similar to seeing a little kid get clotheslined.

That's my funny time I won't ever forget.


tl;dr - I think it's a good story, just read it, or don't comment on it at all.
Abbreviated version:
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Quote by :.FireStorm.:
+1 Maus24

:.FireStorm.: - #15 poster in the thread, #1 in my heart.

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#35
Quote by zoso rld


*Image of forbidden fruit*

loophole....ITS A WATERMELON!!


THIS.
Quote by C O B H C
If you want to get really technical about it..

1. Grab sticks.
2. Bang sticks on drums.


^how to play drums.


UG POKER
#37
Quote by Warheart1188
My father was a drinker...and a fiend. One night he goes off crazier than usual, mommy gets the kitchen knife to defend herself. He doesn't like that. Not. One. Bit. So, me watching, he takes the knife to her, laughing while he does it. Turns to me and says "Why so serious?" Comes at me with the knife-"Why so serious?" Sticks the blade in my mouth-"Let's put a smile on that face"
And...

Why so serious?




I like how the answers are all either this, or reminiscing on being stoned one time or another.
#38
as we tricked our english teacher into making statements so ridiculously racist when someone played them for her afterwards (she lets us record) she recommended immediate suspension of whoever the student speaking was (right before she realized it wasn't a student)
Quote by Mr. La Fritz
"all fatties report to the gym!"


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music should only sound like a train running into a wall of BC riches plugged into line 6 spiders
#39
Me and my friends were with 3 girls at one of their houses. Started talking about getting in their pool and the girl who lived there was like well maybe if we are quiet and don't wake parents up etc because it wasn't "officially open" being early spring. So me and my friend jump in nice and quiet (was like 2am in the morning). Next thing we know 2 of the girls do cannon balls into the pool causing loud splash and what not. The lights in her parents bedroom go on and we heard the scariest voice that I will never forget yell *name of girl we were with*. Needlessly to say me and him hide outside while she went in and finally came out about a hour later with our clothes we had left inside. We then jumped the back fence and took off without having to face her mom.
#40
Quote by metaldud536
Union Jake


+1
Quote by lexaah
so if i strum a few strings with mah wang it's not cool, but if morello does it, it's ok?
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