#1
Poem. Translation: Let them hate, so long as they fear.


Dreams are nothing more than a yearning
for the future, a glimpse into unreality
where everything you’ve ever wanted comes to you.
Nightmares, on the other hand, are the small
scraps of reality you cling to when you are afraid
to wake up and live. We’ve all had them,
so why do we pretend they don’t exist?
Why do we bury our head when one passes by?
We must embrace them as the last fabric
of our own reality. Otherwise, we don’t live.

There will come a time when we stare into
the heart of the sun and feel a pang of guilt
for ever doubting ourselves. We should
hang our heads in shame and ask for forgiveness
from each other. Only then will the dreams
begin to make some sort of sense and we may
find comfort in them. Otherwise, we don’t live.

Hopes are a manifestation, a disgrace to believe in,
the last misfirings of dying neurons. To look into
the eyes of hope, welling up with tears, we’ll
fade into a state of gentle slumber and lie to ourselves
that we can build from the sky down. Unless
you’re God, come back down to earth.

Fear is a natural defence mechanism against
the mechanics of love. We must be scared of
it because if you aren’t scared of the flame, you’ll
never know it can burn you. The scars may only be
skin deep, but the pain will shake you up, destroy
hope. Not always a bad thing. Fear is the brother of
nightmares, and together they keep the world turning.
#2
Quote by Dæmönika
Poem. Translation: Let them hate, so long as they fear.


Dreams are nothing more than a yearning
for the future, a glimpse into unreality
where everything you’ve ever wanted comes to you.
Nightmares, on the other hand, are the small
scraps of reality you cling to when you are afraid
to wake up and live. We’ve all had them,
so why do we pretend they don’t exist?
Why do we bury our head when one passes by?
We must embrace them as the last fabric
of our own reality. Otherwise, we don’t live.

I like how this builds, line by line. I thought this did well as an opener. There isn't much that i can say more about this. Excellent.

There will come a time when we stare into
the heart of the sun and feel a pang of guilt
for ever doubting ourselves. We should
hang our heads in shame and ask for forgiveness
from each other. Only then will the dreams
begin to make some sort of sense and we may
find comfort in them. Otherwise, we don’t live.

Thid does well as a continuation. Again this was pretty much spot on and have nothing more to say.

Hopes are a manifestation, a disgrace to believe in,
the last misfirings of dying neurons. To look into
the eyes of hope, welling up with tears, we’ll
fade into a state of gentle slumber and lie to ourselves
that we can build from the sky down. Unless
you’re God, come back down to earth.

The best stanza of the piece, you kept the momentum!

Fear is a natural defence mechanism against
the mechanics of love. We must be scared of
it because if you aren’t scared of the flame, you’ll
never know it can burn you. The scars may only be
skin deep, but the pain will shake you up, destroy
hope. Not always a bad thing. Fear is the brother of
nightmares, and together they keep the world turning.

Some of the phrases here are cliche and sub par to the rest of the piece. (e.g: "Scars my only be skin deep". "Fear is the brother of nightmare".) I loved the first line and the use of enjambment, I thought that was excellent.


Overall I reall enjoyed this, it was spot on and had a lot of contemplation and philosophical approach to it. I think this poem relates to how we feel, as humans, an expiration date not only within ourselves but also with the fabric of being and living; a battle against time (theosophical approach).

PS: Can you check out my new piece please? http://ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=955398