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#1
Does anyone else hate shopping carts? YEA. Of course you do. They are a menace to society, unchallenged by even our highest ranking officers. What has this world come to, allowing them to run amuck? We need to fight back immediately.



Here are some facts and information concerning shopping carts:
1. They abduct our children: "The carts can come in many sizes, with larger ones able to carry a child". Think that's bad? Check this out: "There are also specialized carts designed for two children, and electric mobility scooters with baskets designed for disabled customers." So they are abducting two children at a time, right under our noses? Blasphemy! And what's this? They sell crack cocaine to disabled customers? And abduct them when they least expect it? Words cannot describe my feelings of discontent.

2. Shopping carts harm our children: "24,000 children are injured each year in shopping carts according to the American Academy of Pediatrics." So when they cannot abduct our children, they simply break their legs. Pitiful.

3. Shopping carts are despicably dirty: "According to a study conducted by the University of Arizona's Environmental Research lab, grocery carts are havens for urine, mucus, and human saliva. Shopping carts have been ranked third on the list for worst public items." Disgusting.


Apparently I am the only one who has realized that shopping carts have brainwashed humankind into thinking they are useful, harmless creatures. We need to stop thinking like this, for it is absolutely incorrect. We need to spread the truth! LET IT BE KNOWN THAT SHOPPING CARTS ARE FILTHY MESHES OF WELDED SCRAP METAL. THEY ARE INFIDELS. KILL ALL SHOPPING CARTS.

Thank you.

*facts taken from Wikipedia

p.s. why is my picture not showing up
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Last edited by ACG at Sep 10, 2008,
#2
No i don't, cause personally i would rather use one than carry every single item around the store.
#3
i hate them too.


but that might be because ive worked at a grocery store for the past 3 years.
#4
I have no problems with them. I do, however think it should be part of the trolley guys job to disifect the handlles every 5 hours or so?.
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#6
I only hate them when they have one wobbly wheel that squeeks really loud and makes your cart look like broke leg fat dude lumbering down the aisle.
None are more hopelessly enslaved than those who falsely believe they are free.
#7
Quote by 12Jim34
What are you gonna carry your shopping in, eh?


Bags. Canadian style.
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#8
Quote by Kensai
Bags. Canadian style.


Yes, bags or baskets. Or we need to create some sort of projectile device which launches our groceries directly into our vehicles.
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#10
Instead of using trolleys (hooray for england) we could use donkeys, but...
Trolleys don't poo on the floor...or eat your shopping...or bite you..
Therefore with a simple equation

Trolleys > Donkeys.

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#11
Quote by Chrisiphone
Instead of using trolleys (hooray for england) we could use donkeys, but...
Trolleys don't poo on the floor...or eat your shopping...or bite you..
Therefore with a simple equation

Trolleys > Donkeys.


Pffft, simply attach a poopbag under the donkey's anus, and a mouthguard to prevent any biting or eating.

Modified donkeys > trolleys.
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#12
Quote by ACG
Pffft, simply attach a poopbag under the donkey's anus, and a mouthguard to prevent any biting or eating.

Modified donkeys > trolleys.

Progress in action, brings a tear to my eye

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#13
Quote by Chrisiphone
Progress in action, brings a tear to my eye


very true. i thought ACG was stumped when he was called up on the shitting and biting qualities of the dreaded jack ass. but, well done sir, for i can't find fault in your modification.



Sanity is not statistical
#14
Quote by ACG
LET IT BE KNOWN THAT SHOPPING CARTS ARE FILTHY MESHES OF WELDED SCRAP METAL. THEY ARE INFIDELS.


you're confusing shopping carts or TROLLEYS! with your mum.
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#15
We need a modified donkey appreciation society.

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#16
Quote by Low_End_Rocker
very true. i thought ACG was stumped when he was called up on the shitting and biting qualities of the dreaded jack ass. but, well done sir, for i can't find fault in your modification.


I never cease to impress.
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#17
pshh, you cant beat going down a hill in one uncontrollably though can you?
"Swim in a lake of death, eaten by crocodiles!"

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#18
Quote by dan ramP
pshh, you cant beat going down a hill in one uncontrollably though can you?

Yes but donkeys can take you uphill.

1 - 0 to the donkey.

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#19
Quote by dan ramP
pshh, you cant beat going down a hill in one uncontrollably though can you?


Going uphill uncontrollably in one? It'd be quite a feat.
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#21
Quote by daytripper75
i hate them too.


but that might be because ive worked at a grocery store for the past 3 years.


I've never seen a person with a smile on their face when gathering and pushing shopping carts back to the store. It must be horrible.

Quote by denizenz
I'll logic you right in the thyroid.

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#22
Quote by Chrisiphone
Yes but donkeys can take you uphill.

1 - 0 to the donkey.


Donkeys can take you anywhere you want to go.

2-0 to the donkey.
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#23
Quote by darkstar2466
I've never seen a person with a smile on their face when gathering and pushing shopping carts back to the store. It must be horrible.



That's because their mind is being controlled, hence the blank expression on their faces.
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#24
Quote by ACG
I never cease to impress.


very true sir

well, i'm surprised this hasn't been brought up yet, but i defy you to find anyone who makes money off TROLLEY shows.

donkeys 3- trolleys 0



Sanity is not statistical
#26
Quote by nick dixon
I have no problems with them. I do, however think it should be part of the trolley guys job to disifect the handlles every 5 hours or so?.


Bwd Engrish?

Anyway. I disagree with the TS!

Shopping carts are a very, VERY important part of the human society that makes our lives so brilliant! The greatness and superb usability of the wonderful shopping cart is beyond repair and it should be noted that there REALLY isn't anything wrong with them. Because they are magnificent things. Now say with me:

Shopping carts are good and I need them for my beautiful life of endless consuming and shopping!

Quote by RoamingConflict
This one dream involved me, one random girl, midgets and a pie.


...and midgets ended up f*cking her. I got the pie.


#27
Its conclusive, Tesco should employ donkeys.

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#28
Quote by ACG
Donkeys can take you anywhere you want to go.

2-0 to the donkey.


Shoot both a donkey and a shopping cart, and tell me which one still works

Donkey 3
Trolley 1

i know trolleys dont even work properly anyway, but thats the fun of them.
"Swim in a lake of death, eaten by crocodiles!"

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#29
Quote by Chrisiphone
Its conclusive, Tesco should employ donkeys.


don't they do that already?



Sanity is not statistical
#30
Quote by dan ramP
Shoot both a donkey and a shopping cart, and tell me which one still works

Donkey 3
Trolley 1

i know trolleys dont even work properly anyway, but thats the fun of them.


Trolley's (guess u mean shopping cart) Make good dorm room decoration. We borrowed one to move stuff in at college and never took it back so it stayed in our dorm room for a few years.

Donkey 3
Trolley 2
#31
Quote by BloodMoon666


*blasphemy*



Oh lord, this one's too far gone to bring back. =(
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#32
Quote by dan ramP
pshh, you cant beat going down a hill in one uncontrollably though can you?


Never! Even though I badly injure myself every time, but I think it adds to the fun.
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#33
Quote by ViperScale
Trolley's (guess u mean shopping cart) Make good dorm room decoration. We borrowed one to move stuff in at college and never took it back so it stayed in our dorm room for a few years.

Donkey 3
Trolley 2


but did it offer you any company, or let you ride him to your classes? i think not

Donkey 4
Trolley 2



Sanity is not statistical
#34
Donkeys make lovable pets
Trolleys do not.

Donkey - 5
Trolley - 2

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#35
You can pretend that the donkey is Eddie Murphy and have hilarious conversations with him. You can pretend that the shopping cart can speak, but then it will tell you how it's going to rape your family and kill you.

Donkeys- 6, Trolleys- 2
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#36
Do Shopping cars poop everywhere and need to be fed? nope

Also can you push a donkey through another to store lots in a small area? not withough killing the donkeys.

Donkey 6
Trolley 4

Edit: i know the trolley can't win, but give it a chance eh?
"Swim in a lake of death, eaten by crocodiles!"

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Last edited by dan ramP at Sep 10, 2008,
#37
Its a landslide victory for the donkey.
But in the case of a landslide, a donkey would be able to rescue people on rough terrain.
I trolley will not.

Donkeys - 7
Trolleys - 2

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#38
got another few ftw... i dare you to try and give a shopping trolley a mohawk and march him proudly through your town square.

i've never heard of a single person in history getting the hot town virgin as his wife by giving her old man a strong, young shopping trolley.

a donkey was good enough for jesus... are you greater than jesus? huh? lets you see getting off guts on water that you've turned into wine. now admit you've lost



Sanity is not statistical
#39
Quote by ACG
Oh lord, this one's too far gone to bring back. =(

Thou shalt not silence ME!

Remember, folks! Shopping carts extend your life by removing the exhausting task of carrying every item you buy while at the same time giving you the exercise that endures healthiness and strength! Donkeys make you weak and sick! Do not listen to the heathens of this thread! And as The Shopper's Bible says: "Walk in the path of the shopping cart and all your sins will be forgiven!"

All bow to the glory of THE SHOPPING CART!
Quote by RoamingConflict
This one dream involved me, one random girl, midgets and a pie.


...and midgets ended up f*cking her. I got the pie.


#40
Low_End_Rocker, my long lost donkey admiring twin.

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