#1
The concept of this song changed about a dozen times while I was writing it. Just a simple verse/chorus/verse/chorus here, never been a huge fan of bridges so I kept it simple here. C4C and shiz ya'll know the deal.- Matlock


I was on top of the world, then I jumped off
Because I didn’t wanna be here
Didn’t wanna reach the end
Without you, pulling me through
Just like you always do
Crossing the finish line hand in hand
It wouldn’t mean anything to me
Cause you are everything to me
And without you I’m nothing

My life is like a puzzle
Scattered all over the kitchen table
Even when I get it all together
I’ll still be incomplete
I’ve got 99 out of 100
And you are my missing piece

You got a promotion
But you turned it down
Cause you just couldn’t stand
Being away from your hometown
I know you don’t want to admit
But the whole reason you did it
Was that you knew I’d be around

That smile that you fake
Well babe you’re not fooling me
Frowning on the inside
Over what couldn’t be
I’ll hang you up in my gallery
And then you’ll be complete
Because I am your missing piece
#2
Quote by Mlnwd
The concept of this song changed about a dozen times while I was writing it. Just a simple verse/chorus/verse/chorus here, never been a huge fan of bridges so I kept it simple here. C4C and shiz ya'll know the deal.- Matlock


I was on top of the world, then I jumped off nice opening line
Because I didn’t wanna be here
Didn’t wanna reach the end
Without you, pulling me through
Just like you always do
Crossing the finish line hand in hand
It wouldn’t mean anything to me I don't really understand these two lines. If you're crossing the finish line hand in hand...aren't you together? Why wouldn't that mean anything?
Cause you are everything to me
And without you I’m nothing for what it's worth, this has been said before

My life is like a puzzle
Scattered all over the kitchen table This line seems to long for flow purposes, but a nice metaphor
Even when I get it all together
I’ll still be incomplete
I’ve got 99 out of 100
And you are my missing piece

You got a promotion
But you turned it down
Cause you just couldn’t stand
Being away from your hometown
I know you don’t want to admit
But the whole reason you did it
Was that you knew I’d be around I don't know what to think about this verse, everything to this point has been very metaphorical, and now we have a strictly literal verse. Maybe too literal if this a rock song.

That smile that you fake
Well babe you’re not fooling me
Frowning on the inside
Over what couldn’t be
I’ll hang you up in my gallery
And then you’ll be complete
Because I am your missing piece I don't really know about this atttempt at a clever ending. I see a lot of this on the forum, and I don't really get where it comes from. Very, very few songs have an ending line that is profound and brings everything full circle, and with good reason. It's tough to do well without being pretty cliche. Perhaps if the last line was repeated a few times, that would take away a little bit of the 'gotcha' feeling.


Well my biggest question is format...you said verse/chorus/verse/chorus, but I don't see anything here resembling a chorus? Looks like 4 verses to me. I think a defined chorus would do a lot to break up this song. Overall, there is some good emotion here, some good imagery, and I think it could be a song. However, none of the lines really impressed me much by themselves, other than maybe the first one. And without a chorus, it's tough to imagine the flow.

C4C always appreciated, link to my newest is in my signature.