#1
one tequila,
two tequila,
free tequila,
more.
By your silence you approve,
grasping for air between hits on a cigarrette,
glazed with rainwater we gaze at the window,
of a stripclub we cant afford,
and hookers in the back of my four door.

Memories and pastures,
memories of pastures and pastures that bring memories.
I should have known you weren't right for me,
when we were watching walk the line,
and I felt sorry for Johnny,
But you felt bad for June.

This isnt the life either of us wanted,
but its the life we got,
the void between my genes and environment,
is much to vast to fill with liquor and wine.
and apparently to vague to explain in words,
but i try,
and i try,
and i fail,
and i succeed,
but i never remember when.
so enjoy your life of purity,
and i'll destroy my life of joy.
#3
I should have known you weren't right for me,
when we were watching walk the line,
and I felt sorry for Johnny,
But you felt bad for June.


^gorgeous.

This was angst done well. Very well indeed. Post this any other week and I say WotW from my PoV... but this week has had quite a bit of strong shit in it.

This had a much more refined tone to it than your usual stuff, which is one of hte only reasons that this didn't just come off as a poetic rant. I really liked it a lot.

Glad to see you post, hope you 've got more.

Comments on sistine Charisma appreciated, but not required.

-zC
#4
Gosh darn it. Maaa come look at this yocal writing yonder poetry, its fooking amazing! Your right Billy-Joe, he fought through the perils of the fine line between humour, poetry, emotion, and dark witt. Run and get your Paa, he's out painting the white picket fence pink - I think he's turning homosexual; He bought me a dildo the other day and said it was for me... I don't trust him.

P.S. Zach, you were correct, he is one the best writer I've seen in a long time.

Digitally Clean
#5
This was brilliant.

the void between my genes and environment,
is much to vast to fill with liquor and wine.
and apparently to vague to explain in words,


doesn't need the first comma,
too instead of to.
There's only one thing we can do to thwart the plot of these albino shape-shifting lizard BITCHES!
#6
Zach if you really said i was one of the best writers you had seen in a long time then i am going to go cry out of joy.
#7
I told him if he was looking to learn how to write with an edge, how to write something that is real, tangible and gritty, he need look no further than you. You are the epitome of that style for me. And definitely one of my favorites to read. I still go back and read "all dressed up for church on Columbine" about once a week.
#8
Quote by ZanasCross
I told him if he was looking to learn how to write with an edge, how to write something that is real, tangible and gritty, he need look no further than you. You are the epitome of that style for me. And definitely one of my favorites to read. I still go back and read "all dressed up for church on Columbine" about once a week.

thats the best compliment i have ever received.
but it is my belief that, writing "with an edge...something that is real, tangible, and gritty" is what writing should be about. not how many words are on a line. or how pretty it sounds when read aloud. but how relatable it is, how much it is believed. because i could string a bunch of words together in a beautiful fashion all day but if they aren't believable than they don't mean shit.
we may have to take this conversation to pm so we dont keep bumping my thread.

but thank you sincerely for the compliment, because that is what i have been trying to achieve ever since i started writing poetry.