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#1
Sooo I accidently clicked to another site and my screen froze for a second not letting me minimize and my mom sees a girl with a **** in her mouth. She goes "WHAT WAS THAT?!" A stupid ****ing question. I yelled "IT'S PORN!" She said she is going to talk to my father about this I said i'm 15 years old, I watch porn, it's normal. Oh btw, 6 months back, I had these pains in my stomach and she asked her doctor friend and he said you need to masturbate more and my mom then told me to masturbate more and now she's yelling at me that I look at pr0n.
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Quote by druz15_UG
LPDave wins the internet!!!
#2
the only solution is to rape your mom then cum blood on her
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#3
...


your mom told you to masturbate more?
WTAF

as for you, you spin a story like a spider spins a web
see? that's a metaphor - no wait, a simile
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#7
If my mum told me to masturbate more I'm pretty sure I never would look her in the eye again.

I mean every time you have a shower you and your mum have mutual understanding that you're pulling it.
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#8
Quote by LPDave
She goes "WHAT WAS THAT?!" I yelled "IT'S PORN!"



my mom then told me to masturbate more

Hilarious.

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#9
Your mother told you to masturbate, that's awkward
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#10
maybe she wanted you to masturbate
to good christian things, like baseball, pie, and the virgin mary
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be the music, not the scene
#12
Oh btw, 6 months back, I had these pains in my stomach and she asked her doctor friend and he said you need to masturbate more and my mom then told me to masturbate more and now she's yelling at me that I look at pr0n.

Worst lie ever?
#13
Quote by frozen_soul
the only solution is to rape your mom then cum blood on her

not this? im confused.
#14
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wat

srsly.
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#16
Stomach pains has NOTHING to do with masturbation.
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#17
your stomach hurt, so your mom told you to touch yourself?


HAHAHAHA

(my mom used to just give me pepto bismol)
#19
I think your mom is a little jealous. If this is one of those creepy erotic novels it will wind up with you your dad and your mom in a threesome. I say avoid that at all costs unless your into that.
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#20
Quote by ViperScale
wtf do stomach pains and masturbation have to do with each other?



masturbation solves everything......duh
#21
Quote by 777Corey
your stomach hurt, so your mom told you to touch yourself?


HAHAHAHA

(my mom used to just give me pepto bismol)


Her DOCTOR friend said it could help. Lol.
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Quote by druz15_UG
LPDave wins the internet!!!
#22
tell your dad te doctor told you to fap more
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#23
Quote by Twist of fate
Worst lie ever?


Why the ****, would I lie about something like fapping?
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Quote by druz15_UG
LPDave wins the internet!!!
#26
Quote by Dan shreds
tell your dad te doctor told you to fap more


Lol, I did tell my dad, and my dad was like "Wtf??"
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Quote by druz15_UG
LPDave wins the internet!!!
#27
Quote by 777Corey
your stomach hurt, so your mom told you to touch yourself?


HAHAHAHA

(my mom used to just give me pepto bismol)

haha

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#29
Quote by LPDave
Her DOCTOR friend said it could help. Lol.


still... I had really bad stomach pains as a kid, i thought i burst my appendix or soemthing (i didnt know, i was young), went to the doctor, they gave me mediciine to help me shit. my penis never came up.
#32
really? she wasnt like "k koo"?
^I S*** you not compadre!


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#34
Quote by ShredGod George
maybe she wanted you to masturbate
to good christian things, like baseball, pie, and the virgin mary

#35
Quote by 777Corey
still... I had really bad stomach pains as a kid, i thought i burst my appendix or soemthing (i didnt know, i was young), went to the doctor, they gave me mediciine to help me shit. my penis never came up.


You know you can sue the company for giving you ED.
Due what you want as long as you vote Due!
#37
Quote by roknoob1590
really? she wasnt like "k koo"?


My mom is really weird. She gets mad at me when I talk about dirty shit, but she'll bring up shit like the whole "doctor friend says you need to fap" and i'll start going "Wtf is wrong with the guy that he wants me to masturbate more than I do" and then she'll be like Stop it, i don't want to hear this.
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Quote by druz15_UG
LPDave wins the internet!!!
#39
Quote by ShredGod George
maybe she wanted you to masturbate
to good christian things, like baseball, pie, and the virgin mary


naw you need to get the girl that lives next door instead of looking at porn. /nod
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