I just recently uploaded my first fully original recording. I've been working on the song for awhile in terms of lyrics, but the recording is a pretty rough version as I had a tough time settling on the mood for the song and wanted to get some feedback before trying to polish it. I understand that my vocals need ALOT of work and any suggestions would be greatly appreciated however harsh they are. Other than that I would love to get some feedback on the song whether it be lyrically, musically, or something elsely. If you could leave me a comment on my myspace or just reply here, I would take all of your advice seriously. I'm going to pop a solo into the song somewhere to break it up a bit, but haven't nailed down anything specific. If you leave me your thoughts, I would be more than happy to comment on any recordings you have yourself, crit 4 crit as always. Thanks!

It's the only song on my page.
A nice song mate. Catchy! I really like the song title, and from what I can make out of the lyrics its very well written.

In terms of vocals, yes, you're obviously aware that they need some work. I find that you are often out of tune slightly, or even out of key in some instances. It would be beneficial to sit down with your guitar and record the exact melody you want to sing with your voice to avoid this. I think the main issue, when you sort out pitch, is the issue of repetition. I would highly recommend spicing up the vocal melody with some changes in pitch and adding some flair and variety; this mixes it up a bit and gives the listener something new.

The overall sound is repetitive in nature, and you're probably aware. The constant drum beat in the simplest of rock styles can begin to get old after a few minutes. I'm not sure how easy for you it would be to change this around, but even adding a few fills every now and then can make all the difference in how the listener responds.

The constant progression of the acoustic can also begin to lose its effect when repeated. I would consider rethinking the overall structure of the piece and possibly adding some diversity in terms of chord progressions. Something new can always increase listener attention.

Its a nice little tune, but would I be right in saying that all the music is simply an attempt to string something together around a really well written song that you wanted to show the world?

Its got potential and its a lovely tune and great song. Hopefully I've been of help to you

If you're up for a crit back then here's the link, even though its not quite your style.
"I feel sorry for James Blunt, he has to wake up every morning and think 'Ah man, I'm James Blunt'"
Your right it will not change the world...



Its still damn good though
Are the vocals supposed to sound like that or is that just your recording gear? Either way i like them.

One thing. The repetitiveness of the drum beat gets a bit... boring... Actually the repetitiveness of the whole song gets to me a bit. However i have musical ADD and if there isnt a change every 30 seconds i get bored so maybe its not that bad

A more interesting drum pattern and more chord changes would make this a much better song.

Crit mine?