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#1
since we all know the pit gives the best advice...

so anyways i just got a txt from some number i dont know just then

all it said was...

I really like bacon. Do you?

naturally i would like a witty response to reply to this unknow person.

so i ask you put for advice.
If looks coud really kill,

then my profession would be staring.

#4
i love bacon. espicially when the bacon is a dick and its in my ass
Quote by SomeoneYouKnew
Your post was the only bright spot in this disgusting piece of thread.

Quote by lexanirider78
You have balls. I like balls....(awkward silence)

Quote by SeveralSpecies
I waited for the rape.

...


...but the rape never came
#8
"Mmmnn... bacon"

That should do it, cause bacons awesome as hell
YOU WILL LOVE EACH OTHER
YOU WILL LOVE EACH OTHER
YOU WILL LOVE EACH OTHER
YOU WILL LOVE EACH OTHER
YOU WILL LOVE EACH OTHER
YOU WILL LOVE EACH OTHER
YOU WILL LOVE EACH OTHER
//////////////////////////////////////HEALTH
#12
say you fap to bacon
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Of course I don't wanna go in the woods. There's bears in there.


Quote by Deliriumbassist
Jeff Ament is a sexy sexy beast.



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Yes. Chest hair = automatic awesome. Even if you're a woman.
#13
I want to eat bacon off your chest.
VENUSIAN
FB SC BC TW
Patterns In The Ivy present ethnicity on an intriguing and dedicated level. ~Ambient Exotica
A mesmeric melange of yearning voice, delicate piano and carefully chosen samples. ~Lost Voices
#16
Like you, I do indeed like bacon, it's very tasty and very filling if prepared well in a butty.
Chuck on some brown sauce (HP of course) & it's ready to go. Do you like ham?
Quote by demoniacfashion
Is there any black people on UG?
I don't think a lot of black people play guitar anymore.

Quote by Oasis-fanatic
they all kinda went extinct after hendrix really.


Needless to say, I lol'ed.

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Appart from being on UG or wanking, thats what i mostly do
#17
Who's txting me? Bcoz we could be 'bacon'* up some luv olol

*Sounds like 'Baking'.

Quote by hazzmatazz
youmakemesmile...

Quote by sebastian_96
Today I stole a girls tampons for being such an annoying bitch.





MUFC


My love for you
Is like a truck
Berserker.
#18
Bacon is pure win
Gear:
Epiphone G-400 Ebony
Line-6 UberMetal, EchoPark
Boss RC-2 Loop Station
Traynor YCV50Blue, Bass Mate 25, Guitar Mate 15
#19
Quote by Zero-Hartman
Who's txting me? Bcoz we could be 'bacon'* up some luv olol

*Sounds like 'Baking'.


Use this.

This would arouse even the most abstinent of innocents.
VENUSIAN
FB SC BC TW
Patterns In The Ivy present ethnicity on an intriguing and dedicated level. ~Ambient Exotica
A mesmeric melange of yearning voice, delicate piano and carefully chosen samples. ~Lost Voices
#20
Make a Kevin Bacon joke.

Like "yeah Bacon is okay, but don't you think hollow man was really really shit?"
#21
Quote by rabidguitarist
Use this.

This would arouse even the most abstinent of innocents.

At least someone agrees with me

Quote by freedoms stain
Make a Kevin Bacon joke.

Like "yeah Bacon is okay, but don't you think hollow man was really really shit?"

Or a Kevin Bacon factoid.

"Did you know, Kevin Bacon made his film debut in 1978's Animal House? That'll get the conversation rolling.

Quote by hazzmatazz
youmakemesmile...

Quote by sebastian_96
Today I stole a girls tampons for being such an annoying bitch.





MUFC


My love for you
Is like a truck
Berserker.
#22
Quote by freedoms_stain
Make a Kevin Bacon joke.

Like "yeah Bacon is okay, but don't you think hollow man was really really shit?"


Lol hollow man was shit too!

Alternatively you could say you hate bacon and only eat pork. It's not really that funny, but hey, they can't all be zingers...
I did not get my Spaghetti-O's, I got spaghetti. I want the press to know this.
Executed by injection, Oklahoma.
~~ Thomas J. Grasso, d. March 20, 1995.


Lyrics/Poetry

Fires Burning
#23
Quote by Zero-Hartman
Who's txting me? Bcoz we could be 'bacon'* up some luv olol

*Sounds like 'Baking'.


u sir, are full of win.

now we wait for a reply.
If looks coud really kill,

then my profession would be staring.

#24
Your username sounds like sex ...


Quote by Jack Off Jill
"Son, always carry a medical glove in your pocket in case you wind up in a bathroom that has no toilet paper, and you get constipated."
#25
Quote by \m/ Björn \m/
Your username sounds like sex ...


i dont know whether to be worried or proud that my name reminds you of sex.
If looks coud really kill,

then my profession would be staring.

#26
Quote by cegs
i dont know whether to be worried or proud that my name reminds you of sex.

Lol, dont worry, everything I see reminds me of sex...




Quote by Jack Off Jill
"Son, always carry a medical glove in your pocket in case you wind up in a bathroom that has no toilet paper, and you get constipated."
#27
Quote by \m/ Björn \m/
Lol, dont worry, everything I see reminds me of sex...





ahh good that makes me feel a lot better

wait

what!?

everything...?
If looks coud really kill,

then my profession would be staring.

#28
Lol, your post reminds me of sex


Quote by Jack Off Jill
"Son, always carry a medical glove in your pocket in case you wind up in a bathroom that has no toilet paper, and you get constipated."
#29
bacon reminds you of sex?

im impressed.

EDIT: im off. ill let the pit know how bacon txt loving went tomorrow.
If looks coud really kill,

then my profession would be staring.

Last edited by cegs at Sep 13, 2008,
#30
"Yes. If by bacon, you mean sex. With infants."

Tell me if they ever reply.
I play by my own rules. And I have one rule; There are no rules... but if there are, they're there to be broken. Even this one.


Confused? Good.

Quote by CrucialGutchman
Sigs are wastes of my precious screen space.

^ Irony

Quote by RevaM1ssP1ss
LET ME HUMP YOU DAMMIT
#34
Have you sent a reply yet? Because he/she will eventually stop caring.
I play by my own rules. And I have one rule; There are no rules... but if there are, they're there to be broken. Even this one.


Confused? Good.

Quote by CrucialGutchman
Sigs are wastes of my precious screen space.

^ Irony

Quote by RevaM1ssP1ss
LET ME HUMP YOU DAMMIT
#36
ok so the story so far.

i got the txt.

i replied with: "i love bacon! wanna try my bacon sometime?"

the dude said: "I might have to take you up on that offer."

so yeah... any ideas?
If looks coud really kill,

then my profession would be staring.

#37
Tell him that you're Jewish and that you're not allowed to eat bacon. That'll kill the conversation.

Quote by hazzmatazz
youmakemesmile...

Quote by sebastian_96
Today I stole a girls tampons for being such an annoying bitch.





MUFC


My love for you
Is like a truck
Berserker.
#38
tell him "yeah, you might have to take my offer right up your a**"
Quote by blacksabbath8
So I had to take a massive dump, and I went in the bassment. So it's been down there for a while and the stench is terrible and i think it's seeping into the floor.


#39
call them back and start yelling pig killer at them. tell me how that goes.



<---- metal.
#40
Quote by Kingyem0c0re
Like you, I do indeed like bacon, it's very tasty and very filling if prepared well in a butty.
Chuck on some brown sauce (HP of course) & it's ready to go. Do you like ham?

you win
edit ask him if he likes long stripes of bacon because if not it, it wont work out
Quote by RevaM1ssP1ss
The 2 best colours EVER pitted against each other? No wai!

I voted lime.

Quote by SeveralSpecies
btw lime kicked ass

Member of the Bass Militia PM Nutter_101 to join
Team Lime Green!
Last edited by alternitivebass at Sep 13, 2008,
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