#1
ok here we go
i wrote this song one night trying to just use metaphors
anyone wanna try to guess what its about?

"wooden strings and two cent batteries
my thrift is the grove
got my box of burned cds

no need to sweat
i like everyone ive met
i smile with a shine
cause nothing else is mine

fine champagne when i wake up
crystal clear complection
because of my makeup

i bathe in fine silk
yet i reek of day old milk
i have to look my best
i dont care about the rest...."


i think i need to work on the third verse but let me know what you think.
#3
DOUBLE POST BAD!!!!!


"wooden strings and two cent batteries
my thrift is the groove
got my box of burned cds

no need to sweat
i like everyone ive met
i smile with a shine
cause nothing else is mine decent

fine champagne when i wake up
crystal clear complection
because of my makeup

i bathe in fine silk
yet i reek of day old milk
i have to look my best
i dont care about the rest...." okay

Overall, it really needs to be longer for me to get any meaning out of it. good start though. c4c?
#4
yea sorry about the double post, no one was talking.
thanks for the constructive critisism, ive ben trying to come up with a chorus.
and what does c4c mean?
#5
Quote by eazyduzitjacob
yea sorry about the double post, no one was talking.
thanks for the constructive critisism, ive ben trying to come up with a chorus.
and what does c4c mean?


c4c= criticism for criticsm. it's what makes the forum works. I review yours, in return, you review mine. I have links in my sig. I think you try to have three crits for every post.
Good luck.