Page 1 of 2
#1
My music teacher once said, "Why did Mozart have to get rid of his chickens? Because they ran around saying BACH BACH BACH"

That's extremely lame..
But the people that got the joke couldn't stop laughing.

Another one I read on UG was, " What do you do when a rhino charges you? You give him your CREDIT CARD! "

Post jokes that are so lame that they're actually quite funny!
Quote by buddha
isnt there a law against not shaving? thats somewere in our constitution. i think it goes something like a girl maybe be a freak in the sheets but no be wild down stairs is treason and for that she will be beheaded.-good old Benjamin F.

#3
what do bartenders say to shakespeare when he walks into a pub....
you're barred.
DONT RISK IT, BUY A BASS AMP
#6
Quote by Tom_hatton
What do you call a fish with no eye?


A Fsh.


Quote by buddha
isnt there a law against not shaving? thats somewere in our constitution. i think it goes something like a girl maybe be a freak in the sheets but no be wild down stairs is treason and for that she will be beheaded.-good old Benjamin F.

#7
this thread is a pretty la...


What's the difference between hard and light?

You can go to sleep with a light on.
#8
Why is a chicken like a plum?

Because they're both purple, except for the chicken.
#10
Quote by Tom_hatton
What do you call a fish with no eye?


A Fsh.


#11
Here's one I made myself.
What did the mummy werewolf say to the baby werewolf?

"Shut up and comb your face."
RULE BRITANNIA
#12
2 monkeys sit in a bath tub. One goes "woooo ahh ahh ahh". The other says "just add some cold water"
#15
what do you call a dear with no eye?


No eyed dear
When Life Gives You Lemons...
Swap Them For
Alcohol.
#16
wat do michael jackson and a ps3 have in common?
Children turn them on!
They made me do push ups in drag

I'm gonna have a really hard time if we're both cannibals and racists.

Don't dress as a whore, he'll thump you.

I'm a firework, primed to go off
#18
Quote by moody git
what do bartenders say to shakespeare when he walks into a pub....
you're barred.


You're a Doctor who fan too?

Edit: What do you call a dear with no eyes or legs?

Still no idea.
For those who care.
Current Gear
Cort Zenox Z42
Flextone II
Charvel USA So-Cal
Farida M2 Parlour Acoustic
Admira Hand-built Spanish Acoustic
Blackstar HT-5H
Line 6 M13
#22
Quote by lukephillips000
Why did the skeleton not go to the party?


Because he was dead.


May the Force be with You.
Carmel is hawt
#25
What happened to the man who went to Jerusalem on a donkey wearing nothing but a mankini?


He was stoned of his ass.
May the Force be with You.
Carmel is hawt
#28
What do you call a deer with no eyes?

No idea


What do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs?

Still no idea


My brother has tons of this sh*t......*sigh*....
#29
What do you call a dear with no eyes, legs and a gun shot wound?

Bloody no idea!
For those who care.
Current Gear
Cort Zenox Z42
Flextone II
Charvel USA So-Cal
Farida M2 Parlour Acoustic
Admira Hand-built Spanish Acoustic
Blackstar HT-5H
Line 6 M13
#31
Why are there no aspirins in the jungle?

Because the parrots ate 'em all.

LOL
derp
lol u have faggot in ur username


Quote by Jack Off Jill
You know, if you, Silent Deftone and I get together.. We'd be unstoppable at the night clubs.


Everything I say is to be taken as serious fucking business.
#32
Why did the plane crash?
Because the pilot was a tomato!

What do you get when you drop a piano down a mine shaft?
A flat minor!

Ab, Bb, and Db walk into a bar, and the bartender says, "Sorry, we don't serve minors."
Quote by Les_Frederiksen
PlayMadness, you give me hope for mankind.

Quote by Darksucker
PlayMadness - Jesus 2.0

Quote by genghisgandhi
Society's doing great. There's a rise of people like PlayMadness. I feel pretty good about the way things are going.
#33
Quote by PlayMadness
Ab, Bb, and Db walk into a bar, and the bartender says, "Sorry, we don't serve minors."

Because, as we all know, it is common practice to write in Ab and Db minor.
derp
lol u have faggot in ur username


Quote by Jack Off Jill
You know, if you, Silent Deftone and I get together.. We'd be unstoppable at the night clubs.


Everything I say is to be taken as serious fucking business.
#35
What do you call a blind deer?

No Idea.


EDIT: Dammit
Quote by duncang
maybe it's because i secrely agree that tracedin inymballsackistheb best album ever


he's got the fire and the fury,
at his command
well you don't have to worry,
if you hold onto jesus' hand
#36
Quote by CTFOD
What do you call a blind deer?

No Idea.


say it aloud...



Been said many times now.

Edit: i wrote that BEFORE the edit
For those who care.
Current Gear
Cort Zenox Z42
Flextone II
Charvel USA So-Cal
Farida M2 Parlour Acoustic
Admira Hand-built Spanish Acoustic
Blackstar HT-5H
Line 6 M13
Last edited by .:Darkness:. at Sep 14, 2008,
#37
Quote by .arkness:.
Been said many times now.

Check the edit.

I couldn't be bothered to read through the whole... 1 and a half pages.
Quote by duncang
maybe it's because i secrely agree that tracedin inymballsackistheb best album ever


he's got the fire and the fury,
at his command
well you don't have to worry,
if you hold onto jesus' hand
#38
How do you put a giraffe in the fridge ?
You open the door and put him in.

How do you put an elephant in the fridge ?
You open the door, Take out the giraffe and then put him inside.

How do you put a Zebra and an elephant in the fridge ?
Open the door.
Move the elephant down a compartment and put the zebra in.
*hopes no one notices lack-of-sig*

o noez !
we've been spotted.
ruuuuuuuun


my username was a mistake

get used to it.
#39
The Lion had a huge party and invited all the animals.
Two of them didn't show. Which ones and why ?

The Zebra and the elephant.
Because they were in the fridge.


In that very jungle there was a lake full of crocodiles and snakes. Yet two explorers managed to swim across it without being bitten. How come ?
Because the crocs and snakes were out chilling at the lions party.
*hopes no one notices lack-of-sig*

o noez !
we've been spotted.
ruuuuuuuun


my username was a mistake

get used to it.
#40
Quote by padgea7x
wat do michael jackson and a ps3 have in common?
Children turn them on!


thats just sickening!
Page 1 of 2