#1
*Drum solo*
*Verse riff* x4

It's not so wise but I sprinted towards you anyways so come along and run along and say, goodbye!, the bitter taste of the afterlife holding on so tight as the admission price blisters through the roof. I encourage compromise and disengage your simple mind to achieve the social status of the timid winters. This synchronization process is silent and leaves us betrayed.

Don't let me demonstrate my mind(You make it to complicated to provide)
(Hush little baby don't say a ****ing word mommas gonna buy you a revolution)
Synchronize with my-

Synchronize with me
Baby take my hand and follow me
Complicate my mind
Don't commit into my distant time as I follow you forever blind
I'm, wanting to improvise
Synchronize!

*filler riff*

I'm not to far away from breaking down again, it's that sick cold feeling that I had just last night. The silhouette of a ghost stalks me in the breeze as the tender whispers of the grass puts my daughters to sleep. No need to reinvent myself again and again and again, I'll just sit here and wait to speak again.

I think I want to dry up and die(Don't you ever sink into my thoughts)
(Hush little baby don't say a god damn word mommas gonna buy you a revolution)
Failing to realize-

Synchronize with me
Baby take my hand and follow me
Complicate my mind
Don't commit into my distant time as I follow you forever blind
I'm, wanting to improvise
Synchronize!

Wanting to decide, I altered you, to make up my mind today, searching in your eyes I see you, I want to find where I belong. The world is such a bitter place, everyone tries to paint me...a different color. When I wonder where to go in the middle of an abandoned street, there is nothing to guide my way. My reflection in the mirror is nothing but a dark road, this candle ignites me. I'm going up in flames!

*Bass solo*

(Hush little baby don't say a ****ing word mommas gonna buy you a revolution)

Synchronize with me
Baby take my hand and follow me
Complicate my mind
Don't commit into my distant time as I follow you forever blind
I'm, wanting to improvise
Synchronize!
Last edited by ArcadianWarrior at Nov 14, 2008,
#2
Wow.
I really want to hear the music that goes along with this!

I like the commentary you're making in these lines without having to spell it out,
"the bitter taste of the afterlife holding on so tight as the admission price blisters through the roof"
^ That's some epic observation on death and what people do to ensure their afterlife

I don't like the way you rhyme the same word in the chorus (me/me)
It seems kinda lazy and sounds weird when you say it

Overall I like the general word choice and underlying messages
Blindfolds aside I'd probably still close my eyes

And try to feel a trembling fetal life inside
that shotgun barrel that's about to make me bleed

Like an ulcer in the stomach of the beast


Quote by Aurex
your sarcasam amuses me


CSUSM
#3
Well the part where it says, "Baby take my hand and follow me", I intend on that being dual vocals or backup vocalist, probably in a mellowish voice, so that way it would make it sound a little less repetitious. But thanks :]
But I rarely make choruses like that, I used to be one of those one line or so chorus people. But then I started making these more epic seeming choruses and recently I've been writing alot of songs in this format, I used to write in a System of a Down format, but I guess...I dunno, this is somewhat of an Avenged Sevenfold format in a way.