Simple - post all your anecdotes here

I'll go first.

Search bar - do it! (this actually means no search bar notes/jokes please)

Soviet diplomat school. The students have been handed an assignment: The Soviet Union has accidentally nuked one African communist state's territory. Write an answer to the formal inquiry of the situation.
Later on the professor commented the students' works: Unfortunately, this assignment didn't go as well as planned. The only exemplary grade deserving work was made by Serjoga Lavrov. Just two minor details. Firstly, "black-ass monkeys" is written with double 's', not double 'z'. And secondly, since "suck" is a verb and "****" is a noun, they are written separately. Otherwise, a very good job!
Quote by RoamingConflict
This one dream involved me, one random girl, midgets and a pie.

...and midgets ended up f*cking her. I got the pie.