#1
My left hand smells like a dirty vagina,
half a bottle of schnapps will do that to ya,
I didnt play guitar at this party,
but i sang "fuck her gently" with a friend that i just made.

yea this is my story,
it isn't poetry or a novella,
or some other pretentious shit like that,
just a tale of a drunken night broken up,
to make it easier to read.

she said "im not having sex with you, I dont even know you."
So i proceded to tell her my name, that i had two brothers,
where i lived and what i drove.
Then I figured she would know me,
then I fingered the fuck out of her,
and she never fucked the fuck out of me.
Blue balled.

I puked by the bonfire,
first time in a while,
I made sure she didn't find out.
because the drunkest guy at the party never gets laid,
the second drunkest always does though.
Remember that kids,
thats the best advice i can give you.
Remember it.

her parents get divorced tomorrow,
i dont know why i know that,
its kind of weird to be honest.
Anyway,
The worst feeling in the world,
is when you wake up in the morning,
and dont know what happened to all your cigarettes.
#2
oh looks like he got deleted lol
Last edited by bluesybilly at Sep 19, 2008,
#3
Sounds like you had fun... now only if it rhymed.

Lol just kidding. It was very interesting none the less.
^This post was probably sarcastic

GO LEAFS GO

Chief Executive Officer of Music Games of THE ULTIMATE-GUITAR GAMING FORCE
#4
Quote by bluesybilly
I dont want to bump my thread so i will reply to your second comment here.
nice restraint, in dealing with comments that were directed more as a personality/motivation attack than on the merits and liabilities of the piece itself.


My left hand smells like a dirty vagina,
half a bottle of schnapps will do that to ya,
this almost implies the schnapps directly caused the smell
later it's clarified that the schnapps has an indirect role in the process.
instead of do that to you ya, perhaps lead to that or something similar?

I didnt play guitar at this party,
but i sang "fuck her gently" with a friend that i just made.

yea this is my story,
it isn't poetry or a novella,
or some other pretentious shit like that,
just a tale of a drunken night broken up,
to make it easier to read.
a bit apologetic, but not a horrible diversion ... except for the last line.
that seems tacked on.


she said "im not having sex with you, I dont even know you."
So i proceded to tell her my name, that i had two brothers,
where i lived and what i drove.
Then I figured she would know me,
then I fingered the fuck out of her,
and she never fucked the fuck out of me.
i'd prefer but rather than and to open this line.
and three fucks in two lines is pushing it a bit.

Blue balled.

I puked by the bonfire,
first time in a while,
I made sure she didn't find out.
because the drunkest guy at the party never gets laid,
the second drunkest always does though.
Remember that kids,
thats the best advice i can give you.
Remember it.
i enjoyed this section the most.

her parents get divorced tomorrow,
i dont know why i know that,
its kind of weird to be honest.
Anyway,
The worst feeling in the world,
is when you wake up in the morning,
and dont know what happened to all your cigarettes.
nice conclusion to an odd hazy ramble.

you're always a pleasure to read.
Meadows
Quote by Jackal58
I release my inner liberal every morning when I take a shit.
Quote by SK8RDUDE411
I wont be like those jerks who dedicate their beliefs to logic and reaosn.
#5
i could relate in complete to this man.
to be honest, i believe it's the best thing you've ever posted on here.
sorry i don't comment too often.
There's a road that leads to the end of all suffering. You should take it.


- Jericho Caine


secret, aaaaagent maaan.
secret, aaaaagent maaan.
Last edited by ottoavist at Sep 19, 2008,
#7
This poem smells of house party.
Katherine likes it.
I'll be back later
There's only one thing we can do to thwart the plot of these albino shape-shifting lizard BITCHES!