#1
Short little piece I wrote last nite

My life is falling apart
nothing is the same
but you (short break)
you take the pain away

Holding you close
the pain goes away
nothing else matters
I know your here to stay

Everyone is drifting away
leaving me in my time of need
but you (another short break)
you take the lonilness away


Holding you close
the loneliness goes away
nothing else matters
I know your here to stay
#6
agreed, very cliche..

maybe add some description.. the rhyming seems kind of cheesy too, to be completely honest
Quote by brandonian
you nose started bleeding, so the first thing you do is post it on UG? i don't understand the reasoning behind that one my friend



Quote by unplugtheradio
screw grammar i practice economic typing.
#7
Sure. By claiming this song you run the extreme risk of copyright infringement and I would suggest scrapping it and starting over, get creative this time.

Think "outside the box" and never bluntly state your feelings more than twice or even once in an entire piece.... every single time you do it's another letter grade off the score.