#1
This is a song ny Band McGalligog wrote it's inspired by the history of Ireland and how atempts were made to destroy our culture by anglicizing us

verse1:

The emerald isle
land of myth and legend
has always been on its own
countless invasions
have changed the face
and it still shone through green
Now i fear the current attack
will rid us of our pride
they use no weapon
thats physical
they kill us
from inside!!

pre chor:

The land we lie in
has been ripped and tortured
so much native blood
has sunk
into the soil.

what is it that makes
us a target
not for weapons
but for souls

chorus:
In the land we own
all false idols
will die as we go

Dont be taken in
by what they say is right
live your own life

interlude:

Now we fight back
To prevent their attack
Shipped away from our homeland
We will win in the end
There soulsto hell we will send
they will feel or warth!!

verse2:

An image is all
they gave to us
of how, we should be
the brainwashed fools
take it as their own
and mock, those without.
Some still fight
for what we own
our tongue, our land, our past
we wont forget
who we are
and what we will become!!

pre chor:

chorus:
Last edited by skullreken at Sep 20, 2008,
#3
well it is a 6 minute song I think 2 verses 2 choruses and an interlude is average for most songs
#6
i have to agree with purple dinosaur.

i will try to refrain from bashing your writting tho and simple say it lacks
a real flow, at least i couldnt find one when i was reading it.

im glad your writting about a real event tho.

most of the songs i read on here are about personal angst.

not that thats a bad thing, but its refreshing to see a new topic.
crit my rhymes?:

Lets Get Drunk and Fuck.

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Do you realize, that i can clearly see your clitoris through your jeans?

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#7
Quote by Eggmond
very badly written and it doesnt really deal with the anglicanisation of ireland in detail.pick one event and write abut that instead and try to give a narrative rather than just saying that we will win in the end

https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=962476


I'm trying to use imagry to to give an overview of what happened to fully explain it would be impossible in a song

Prior to Anglicization Ireland existed i islation for centuries the Vikings tried to take over and failed they ended up integrating into Irish socioty as did the Normans each integration changed Irish culture some what but a definite Irishness prevailed

countless invasions have changed the face and it still shone through green


Then at the end of the 18th century when the English became more acertive taking direct contol of Ireland the people were encouraged to become more English like. All official and ruling business was doen through English as was the education thus making Gaelic the language of the poor and ignorant British games such as Rigby and Soccer were promoted over Gaelic sports like hurling and Gaelic football As a result through out the 19th century Irish culture took a nose dive with people aspiring to be more British

they use no weapon thats physical they kill us from inside

At the end of the 19th century there was a new type of revolution different to the bloody ones that preceeded it The Gaelic league and tha Gaelic Athletics Association were founded to revive the language the music and the sports they layed the foundations for the uprising that later brought indepenance and they help to shape Irish socioty as it is now

Some still fight for what we own our tongue, our land, our past
we wont forget who we are and what we will become
Last edited by skullreken at Sep 21, 2008,
#8
GAELIC IS NOT A LANGUAGE!!!! i hate people that say that.its a blanket term for a group of languages including welsh,scots,manx etc.. its gaeilge in irish
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Tell me what nation on this earth, was not born of tragedy-Primordial
#9
Actually, Gaelic is a term that refers to several languages as a whole, or can individually refer to one of the group. In this case, I imagine that he's referring to the Irish language, but that's really a minor nitpick in his explanation. It's not like he's writing his master's thesis here.

I feel like it's too rough to go through each stanza and line individually, but this isn't to say it doesn't have potential.

The biggest problem, really, is that it's too vague. The only really specific reference to Ireland itself is the line "the emerald isle." You need to decide if you're writing a song about Ireland or if you're writing a song about resisting invasions and changes in general.

In a lot of poetry like this, key players are usually represented with symbols. For this song, Ireland would probably be represented by something pure but specifically Irish, because that symbol remains static and helps to solidify the idea that despite their history, the Irish have remained the same.

Likewise, the English are a huge part of Irish history, but not in a positive way. Imperialistic, tyrannical, or even negative religious symbols and ideas like manifest destiny would be a good way to represent the English power.

The way you described the history in three distinct parts is an ideal way to structure the song: pre-Anglicization, the violent revolution, and the cultural revolution. I'll go through each one of these one at a time.

Pre-Anglicization, the cultures that tried to conquer the Irish were actually integrated into the Irish society. You could represent this by using symbols like turning the tide, or bringing them under the wing of the Irish. I'll let you figure that out.

During the violent revolutions in the 18th century, talk about the culture prevailing despite the English trying to wipe it out. It could be interesting to point out the connections and differences between how the Irish integrated cultures in a more naturalistic method, and how the English did it in a much more forceful way.

The third idea is the Irish cultural Renaissance of sorts: that in the end, the Irish culture was stronger than the English imperialism, and how the Irish are actually Irish again, like they were before.

Chorus-wise, the main ideas running through this seem to be those of perseverance and hope, so a simple stanza that really summarizes these ideas concisely but powerfully would be ideal.

A lot of the symbols you have ("They kill us from the inside" and "all false idols will die as we go") work well, but the song as a whole isn't quite structured enough for it to really shine.

The last, but still very important idea to consider is the point of view you're writing this from. Are you a historical observer, looking back on this and describing it, or are you an Irishman who's angry at what the English have done? Or are you an Irishman who's angry, but who's looking ahead to the future, and what has to be done to fully resurrect the Irish culture? Pick one voice, and keep it in mind as you write.

As a final note, I have next to no knowledge about the Irish/English conflict and the Anglicization of Ireland. I'm basing everything I said off of what you explained, and my own understanding of similar events in history where one society forcibly tried to impose its own culture on another.

I hope you can do something with this song, but I'd really like to see it finished.