#1
OTS. c4c. Etc.

I left my heart in a lead box under your bed
I stood, king of the hill you never climbed,
And watched flowers wilt and stuttered time
And timeless rhymes of glassy eyes and grassy nights,
Your waveless shores and trashy thighs.
I filled you up with voids and left you sagging
From the weight of all those holes and boys.
And all those wholes and halves, we left split
While our shadows cast a prettier picture than
You could have imagined. We'd dream of smoke
And steam, summer air and winter sleet,
Sharp breaths and slippery feet. The way
The world was full of words you couldn't sing
And birds that had no wings. Unlovely things.
Still through all we'd learn and leave incomplete
Your skins remain warm with bitter heat
And I still fold to your breath like the rustle of autumn leaves.
And clutch to your breast, like a child that never sleeps.
This is home and everything.
#5
Brilliant. One of the best things I've read lately.
On the eight day we spoke back...

let there be sound.
#7
No, no, no, you don't understand, I've got some really great chords for it that'll make it sound toooottttally killer. And an awesome shred solo. You'll see.
#8
C-G-D?


On a serious note, this was wonderful. A few bits where it gets a little too cutesy, but what the hell, it works.
マリ「しあわっせはーあるいってこないだーからあるいってゆっくんだねーん 
いっちにっちいっぽみーかでさんぽ
 さーんぽすすんでにっほさっがるー 
じーんせいはっわんつー!ぱんち・・・


"Success is as dangerous as failure. Hope is as hollow as fear." - from Tao Te Ching

#9
Quote by NGD1313
OTS. c4c. Etc.

I left my heart in a lead box under your bed
I stood, king of the hill you never climbed,
I like this opening
And watched flowers wilt and stuttered time
And timeless rhymes of glassy eyes and grassy nights,
Your waveless shores and trashy thighs.

I filled you up with voids and left you sagging
From the weight of all those holes and boys.
Everything's quite good until now. The flow, the rhymes...
And all those wholes and halves, we left split
While our shadows cast a prettier picture than
You could have imagined. We'd dream of smoke
Thse three lines kind of broke the flawless flow I was feeling until now. It's still not bad.
And steam, summer air and winter sleet,
Sharp breaths and slippery feet. The way
The world was full of words you couldn't sing
And birds that had no wings. Unlovely things.
Still through all we'd learn and leave incomplete
Your skins remain warm with bitter heat
And I still fold to your breath like the rustle of autumn leaves.
And clutch to your breast, like a child that never sleeps.
This is home and everything.
Triumphant ending !


I have to say this was one of the best, most refreshing things I have read in a while. There's really nothing I can point my finger to. Nice work indeed.
#10
Going to say that saying 'the *something* of *something that never happened or something like that*' never works in my eyes. I see it as an scene cliche, eh.

Other than that first line, which put me off a bit, I thought this was bloody good.

Yeah, I'm not helpful or anything.
There's only one thing we can do to thwart the plot of these albino shape-shifting lizard BITCHES!