So, Pit. My favorite teacher died..I'd like to share some of his war stories he told.

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#1
I just gotta vent and get this off my mind...Some similar stories about your favorite teachers (funny anecdotes, I mean) would be great (and make this relevant and not spam).

Flame me and type your immature, petty "we don't care" and "gtfo" memes all you want (and I've seen some heartless bastards do this on other forums). Just know that I don't care and might even report you just for the fun of it.

You know how in high school some teachers almost become friends to you? This was one of those teachers. I'll just call him Sarge, since he was a Staff Sergeant in a recon force in the Vietnam "Conflict" (and apparently a damn good sniper because he had his own signature shot). Those students who were close to him (that didn't sound so wierd in my head...) called him Sarge as well. Hell, he even signed my 2007 yearbook as Sarge. He was funny as hell too. He told lots of funny stories about his experiences in the war.

One was about when he and some buddies stole a truckload of beer from the nearby Army base (and got caught by the gate guards and bribed them with a third of their "cargo"). The next morning he had to be deployed and during the helicopter ride to the LZ, a dude next to him is blasting tunes from his new $300 (the equivalent of about $1200 now) stereo into a very hung-over Sarge's ears. After several warnings and threats of throwing the stereo out of the chopper, he grabs it out of the guy's hands and chucks it out the doorway of the helicopter. He said that the best part was hearing the music fade away as it tumbled end-over-end until it hit the ground and smashed into a million pieces.

There was also one about a dude who was using the latrine and a giant rat's head popped up between his legs and he runs screaming and bare-assed out of the latrine, then he grabs a grenade off Sarge's jacket and lobs it at the latrine thus blowing up the entire structure. As punishment, he had to rebuild it. It kinda backfired, though, because the Army happened to be near-by and helped him out.

Another involved a guy who had to make a poo in the field. Sarge goes "Ok, but remember to stay off of hills. Snipers love when you do that". Sure enough, he was on a hill and sure enough, he got shot in the right cheek (and I don't mean his face). The funny part is that it was non-lethal, but he got his dongle shot off...ouch...

Which reminds me about the one where a guy gets his left testicle shot off and Sarge is helping him to the med chopper. He insists on walking himself, though, and ends up stepping on a land mine, which doesn't kill him, but now he loses his left arm and leg...poor guy.

Last one, I promise...

Sarge gets shot in combat and the field med gives him a shot of morphine and forgets to tag him so other doctors will know not to give him any more. In the med chopper, he gets another full dose of morphine, so now he's "double-dipped" and higher than words can describe and carrying on a great conversation with a soldier laying next to him. When he finally came out of it (he passed out and woke up two days later), he asked the pilot what had happened to that soldier he was talking to, and the pilot said that it was a dead guy Sarge had been talking to that whole time .

Well, I feel a bit better... Hopefully you guys got a couple of chuckles out of it. Anyone have similar little anecdotes? I'd love to hear some.

Hopefully this thread won't go down in a flaming mass of bad...I don't wanna get banned again...
#2
the last story is sickeningly funny. Sounds like a great man.

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#3
TS, PLEEEEEEEEASE post moar stories from Sarge, those were good and i got a chuckle out of the rat in the toilet and shot in the butt cheek. If you have more, please tell them!!! I'm sorry to hear he passed away though...

#4
Lol those are funny, I'm sorry for losing your favorite teacher....
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#5
He sounds like an awesome teacher. I laughed at all of them.

RIP Sarge.
#7
Sarge Seems like he was a great man....the last one had me in stitches.
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#8
lol, last story is great... moar
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#9
LOL wow! Thats incredible. I'm sorry for your loss man, sounds like an awesome guy. Anyway, post more! I laughed a lot, this reminds me of one of my favorite teachers...except my favorite teacher isn't really all that funny, we just make him think he is because he's really old and would probably get depressed if he knew we didn't think he was funny.
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#11
Those were pretty good, I've got a couple that my favorite teacher in highschool told me. I'll post them later though, cause I need a little time to reflect on them so I don't **** them up. Odd's are they'll involve Hendrix, cause he had seen Jimi on multiple occasions and had some pretty good stories.
#12
Quote by frusciante.ve
I didn't understand the last one, could someone explain?


they gave Sarge two full shots of morphine so he was all whoo hoo and sh*t. They took him to a med chopter, and he was high from the morphine, he started talking to a guy laying next to him, passed out, woke up two days later and asked about the guy sarge was talking to, the guy he was talking to was dead the whole entire time.
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Last edited by kurt_cobain9 at Sep 22, 2008,
#13
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TS, PLEEEEEEEEASE post moar stories from Sarge, those were good and i got a chuckle out of the rat in the toilet and shot in the butt cheek. If you have more, please tell them!!! I'm sorry to hear he passed away though...

+1

I've had a couple of teachers that i got really close to. I remember my 1st grade teacher actually told my mom that if she ever got tired of me to let her know so she could adopt me. I'm not sure but i think she was being honest since she had an adopted daughter. My 4th and 5th grade English teacher was awesome... Probably the best teacher i had. My 8th Humanities (advanced english, history, reading) teacher was great as well. We were his first class ever! To be honest we all liked him... on his birthday we took him cake as a surprise. I remember that on our last class together he gave us a personal poem to each of us (he was a writer). I still have it, as well as the short speech that he wrote and read to us that day.

...

He never finished reading it all because he started crying... A girl tried finishing it for him and she cried too. Some of my classmates did as well.

Originally Posted by evening_crow
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Last edited by evening_crow at Sep 22, 2008,
#14
Quote by frusciante.ve
I didn't understand the last one, could someone explain?



ok, his favorite teacher got shot in 'Nam. so when a doctor comes to pick him up, he gives him a dose of morphine, which sedates him. but he forgets to mark that he gave him morphine. so when they get Sarge off the warfront and into the hands of some doctors, they don't know he's already got a dose of Morphine. and they give him another dose, so now he's basically super-stoned/ sedated. they lay him next to another man and treat the others injured. Sarge apparently has a long, detailed conversation with the soldier next to him. then, he passes out from all the Morphine and doesn't wake up for two days. when he does wake up, he asks a doctor what happened to the soldier he talked to when he had just been shot. the doctor tells him that he had been by a dead soldier and had been talking to him. it was because he had two doses of Morphine in him. get it?

glad i could help

#15
Wow, I thought nobody would care...

Ok, here's another one. It's all I can remember right now (there are a couple more, but they aren't meant to be funny).

Back then in Vietnam, the locals had a name for a special joint (as in pot) that translated to "Boomer (and according to sarge they had GREAT dope)". One night, Sarge and some buddies decided to roll one. Well, after they were all good and stoned, Sarge saw a giant rat and got scared (apparently) and got the bright idea to take his M-16 and kill it. Keep in mind that they are all in a big bunker, in the middle of the night, during an artillery fire mission (the Vietnamese apparently had horrible aim, though, because the bunkers never get hit during enemy fire missions). Anyway, thanks to Sarge's brilliant idea, there are bullets ricocheting off every wall. Everyone hunkers down until the bullets quit flying, and they punish Sarge by making him sit outside in the middle of said artillery fire mission. Since Sarge is new to the whole "war experience", he's scared shitless, but all the more experienced guys know that there is really nothing to worry about (or they wouldn't have done it). So Sarge got to sit out there all night.

When I think of the other two funny ones, I'll post them since people are much more interested than I thought.

Rest in peace, Sarge. Mors janua vitae...
#16
this little 8 year old kid(that I go to school with)'s grandma just passed. She used to teach me piano, and everytime I was around her I just felt happy.
McLovin is my hero!

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It's the coming.
#17
vietnam and WW2 vets are the greatest people to listen to

RIP Sarge
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#18
Sorry to hear about your teacher Jim - it's always great to get those few people who are willing to share what they've seen/done and Sarge sounds like quite the character.
#19
RIP Sarge, sounds like a fun guy with a great personality. Reminds me a lot of the connection I had with my Forensics teacher who ended up getting fired about a month into the year because he didn't assign enough assessments
#20
I don't really have any stories from favourite teachers anything like yours, the only guy I know who went to war hates talking about his time there. But I have some cool stories anyway from a relative.

My grandfather, Joe, who passed away a few years back was everything you'd describe tough as. Took 3 types of full-blown cancer and a broken pelvis to kill him at 81. He broke his pelvis about 8 months before, and spent 12 hours hitting on the walls and yelling to get attention. Pretty damn impressive for an 81 year old.
Anyway, the story I have about him was when my dad was a kid. Joe was a bricklayer, he'd done all the houses and fences in his and the surrounding suburbs. He'd taken lots of pride in it, and didn't like people messing it up. A bike gang, the nomads, lived across the road, and one day one of them crashed through his fence. Joe said to them they could either pay for the materials or get the shit beaten out of them. They laughed, didn't pay. So, the next day he went across, knocked 3 of them out cold and broke both the arms of another 2. They all tried jumping him at the same time.
I don't know why, but I always found this story funny in a sad way, probably because I was young when he died and I didn't really appreciate who he was or how valuable human life was.
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#21
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I don't really have any stories from favourite teachers anything like yours, the only guy I know who went to war hates talking about his time there. But I have some cool stories anyway from a relative.

My grandfather, Joe, who passed away a few years back was everything you'd describe tough as. Took 3 types of full-blown cancer and a broken pelvis to kill him at 81. He broke his pelvis about 8 months before, and spent 12 hours hitting on the walls and yelling to get attention. Pretty damn impressive for an 81 year old.
Anyway, the story I have about him was when my dad was a kid. Joe was a bricklayer, he'd done all the houses and fences in his and the surrounding suburbs. He'd taken lots of pride in it, and didn't like people messing it up. A bike gang, the nomads, lived across the road, and one day one of them crashed through his fence. Joe said to them they could either pay for the materials or get the shit beaten out of them. They laughed, didn't pay. So, the next day he went across, knocked 3 of them out cold and broke both the arms of another 2. They all tried jumping him at the same time.
I don't know why, but I always found this story funny in a sad way, probably because I was young when he died and I didn't really appreciate who he was or how valuable human life was.



he was a badass...great story
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#22
Quote by evening_crow
My 8th Humanities (advanced english, history, reading) teacher was great as well. We were his first class ever! To be honest we all liked him... on his birthday we took him cake as a surprise. I remember that on our last class together he gave us a personal poem to each of us (he was a writer). I still have it, as well as the short speech that he wrote and read to us that day.


Wow, that's cool. My school is just a bunch of heartless bastards...they've run off so many new teachers...some were very nice people...

Also, to david_highland: I love hendrix. I'll bet those are gonna be some awesome stories.

Another little funny thing I just remembered is that we always had to say the Pledge of Alleigence every morning and Sarge wouldn't do it. The other teachers would get on his case about it, and one day the principal confronted him about it. His response: "I'm the only one at this school who's bled for this country. If I don't feel like saying the Pledge, I won't say it". Face.

Also, during tests, he'd leave the room for a few minutes--on purpose--so people could cheat because his tests were kinda hard. HOWEVER, if you were caught when he was still in the room or as he was coming back in, he'd immediately take the test from you and either slap a zero on it or give you the test in Latin. I used to know a bit of Latin, so I passed the test with a 64

And when the time was up (they were timed..."If ya don't finish it by XX:XX, then you don't know the answer anyway") he'd go BZZZZZT!!!! REALLY loud.
#23
lol those are some great stories!

really sorry about you losing your favourite teacher, i know what it's like to have a teacher as a friend

R.I.P Sarge
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#24
he seems like an awesome guy
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#25
Quote by kurt_cobain9
they gave Sarge two full shots of morphine so he was all whoo hoo and sh*t. They took him to a med chopter, and he was high from the morphine, he started talking to a guy laying next to him, passed out, woke up two days later and asked about the guy sarge was talking to, the guy he was talking to was dead the whole entire time.


oh, now I see
#26
Thanks for the comments, guys.

He was awesome. He'd swear in class and would say "What're they gonna do, fire me?" and laugh because he was gonna retire at the end of this year...

Man, I miss that guy.

During my 9th grade Arkansas History classes, he'd be talking about the 'caveman' peoples (no offence to any actual cavemen) that lived here in prehistory and he'd actually act out the scenarios he was lecturing about. And he's an older guy with a lisp (most of his teeth were blown out by a grenade) so it's that much funnier.

He'd be acting out a hunting expedition and be like "Ohh...big mammoth....small spear didn't hurt him...big mammoth look mad...big mammoth is running at me fast...maybe I should move" or something and when he was talking about the White Man's appearence on the scene it went something like "Bow no match for big fire stick...Friend has hole in chest...".

Good times... Still can't remember those other ones...
#27
Quote by Invader Jim

Good times... Still can't remember those other ones...


awww come on they don't have to be perfect i wanna hear 'em!!!

#28
He sounds like an awesome guy, sorry to hear he's gone.
#30
I need more time to reflect...They're good.

Here's one I didn't wanna tell, as it may not be funny...Ah well, you guys wanted more...

When Sarge was an MP (military police), he and another MP caught and arrested a sick mother fucker who raped an 8-year-old girl and beat the living shit out of him. They took him to the head guy's office (dunno his title) (it was up a flight of stairs) and presented him for official reasons or something. Anyway, the head MP guy goes: "What the hell happened to him?!" since he's barely alive from the beating. Sarge replies: "He fell down the stairs.". The head MP goes "How many times?!" and Sarge says "Three." Head MP goes: "How does a guy fall down the stairs 3 times?" Sarge says: "Clumsy, I guess." and the other MP punches him in the solar plexus (pit of the chest) and goes "Yeah! You're clumsy, aren't ya?!" and the perp, in a dazed stupor, says "Y-Yeah! I'm just real clumsy!". Anyway, here's the part that's supposed to be funny. The next day, Sarge meets the head MP guy and asks about "our little friend". He replies "Well, the other inmates introduced themselves to him last night...all 15 of them...in a line." Sarge says: "Really. He ok?" MP guy: "Well, we had to take him into surgery to fix some...damage."

Sorry for the sloppy format/typing/etc. I was rushed...
#31
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On topic: Ts, the last story on your first post is absolutely hilarious. I'm sure he was a great man.
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#32
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tl;dr

If that wasn't sarcasm, you missed out, bud.

Also, that's a stupid thing to say, sarcasm or not...

edit: Apparently someone thinks I'm trolling... If anyone thinks I'm trolling, just tell me and tomorrow when I go to work I'll take a picture of the damn "Now Playing" sign in front of the funeral home and PM it to everyone who thinks I'm trolling.
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#33
Quote by Invader Jim

Which reminds me about the one where a guy gets his left testicle shot off and Sarge is helping him to the med chopper. He insists on walking himself, though, and ends up stepping on a land mine, which doesn't kill him, but now he loses his left arm and leg...poor guy.


Is he alright?
#34
Oh mate, i'm really feeling for you..

Wish we had teachers like that, he sounds like an awesome guy.
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#35
Quote by Invader Jim
I need more time to reflect...They're good.

Here's one I didn't wanna tell, as it may not be funny...Ah well, you guys wanted more...

When Sarge was an MP (military police), he and another MP caught and arrested a sick mother fucker who raped an 8-year-old girl and beat the living shit out of him. They took him to the head guy's office (dunno his title) (it was up a flight of stairs) and presented him for official reasons or something. Anyway, the head MP guy goes: "What the hell happened to him?!" since he's barely alive from the beating. Sarge replies: "He fell down the stairs.". The head MP goes "How many times?!" and Sarge says "Three." Head MP goes: "How does a guy fall down the stairs 3 times?" Sarge says: "Clumsy, I guess." and the other MP punches him in the solar plexus (pit of the chest) and goes "Yeah! You're clumsy, aren't ya?!" and the perp, in a dazed stupor, says "Y-Yeah! I'm just real clumsy!". Anyway, here's the part that's supposed to be funny. The next day, Sarge meets the head MP guy and asks about "our little friend". He replies "Well, the other inmates introduced themselves to him last night...all 15 of them...in a line." Sarge says: "Really. He ok?" MP guy: "Well, we had to take him into surgery to fix some...damage."

Sorry for the sloppy format/typing/etc. I was rushed...


Even after what he did i still feel sorry for the guy...

OUCH!!!
Originally Posted by evening_crow
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#36
Quote by Invader Jim
I need more time to reflect...They're good.

Here's one I didn't wanna tell, as it may not be funny...Ah well, you guys wanted more...

When Sarge was an MP (military police), he and another MP caught and arrested a sick mother fucker who raped an 8-year-old girl and beat the living shit out of him. They took him to the head guy's office (dunno his title) (it was up a flight of stairs) and presented him for official reasons or something. Anyway, the head MP guy goes: "What the hell happened to him?!" since he's barely alive from the beating. Sarge replies: "He fell down the stairs.". The head MP goes "How many times?!" and Sarge says "Three." Head MP goes: "How does a guy fall down the stairs 3 times?" Sarge says: "Clumsy, I guess." and the other MP punches him in the solar plexus (pit of the chest) and goes "Yeah! You're clumsy, aren't ya?!" and the perp, in a dazed stupor, says "Y-Yeah! I'm just real clumsy!". Anyway, here's the part that's supposed to be funny. The next day, Sarge meets the head MP guy and asks about "our little friend". He replies "Well, the other inmates introduced themselves to him last night...all 15 of them...in a line." Sarge says: "Really. He ok?" MP guy: "Well, we had to take him into surgery to fix some...damage."

Sorry for the sloppy format/typing/etc. I was rushed...


Nice work there mr. sarge.
#38
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Sorry for your loss TS, he sounds like a great man. And more stories would be greatly appreciated I loved that last one, something about a pedophile rapist getting brutalized just makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside.
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#40
I had a really great teacher in high school who died in a car accident (a drunk driver ran into him) a few years back. For a teacher he was a really normal and great guy to all of us and he gave a lot of his own time to helping out the Indigenous people and less fortunate people in the community and school. He gained a lot of respect from all of us and is very much missed but also will be remembered by us all.
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