Poll: multi-vote
Poll Options
View poll results: multi-vote
green
3 21%
blue
4 29%
red
5 36%
orange
3 21%
purple
8 57%
pink
2 14%
Voters: 14.
#1
Untitled

A child is the future of influence
becoming a physical parrot.
Monkey see monkey do.
Clean eyes now vague
and the dust coming out are her tears
hoping the dust would make you see what she does.
The fire was only the pain I left-
why should I smile?



fire-escape

She had no upper arm strength
And it was snowing
The bars were coated in black ice
I could see up her skirt and everything
I could see the patch on her tights, the scars in her thigh
I could see her cringe each step someone did not mention
How beautiful. Watch out. You’re too high. Someone might see.
Orion winked,
And I winked back.



Fuck All (word play and well kept secrets)

A nod, a goodbye, a turn and a
sigh. Eyes meeting in doorways in a
haze of cliche.
A childish silence.
A whole new line break.

Breaking
now and the past.

A whole new paragraph.
Even more
split
than the last.


Shiver Me Timbers

A few words left in slumber
tucked in and under the crevice
of my tongue, rung out
and bed-ridden, the
purest intention that
never should have
been shaped into sound.

"I wish you were a ginger"



Untitled

Come see me off tommorow
on the ship that never leaves.
Until it's full of people, then
just sinks into the sea.
No one needs an anchor
When they've got a man like me.



Opiate of the Masses

You are the telemarketers of life.
You preach unwaveringly on matters of non-issue,
And still manage take the side of the oppressor.
With an unflagging resolve, you have ripped the world apart.

I hate your sanctuary.
Your slow death is a fitting parable of your murderous past.
Last edited by bassbeat77 at Sep 22, 2008,
#2
You are now my favorite UG lyricist. You're lyrics paint a picture, flow for the most part, and give me the impression that your are a little crazy. I can't help but vote for all of them.
#3
um, this is a contest, david highland.
These were all written by different people, and we vote for the best among them. The winning poet gets all sorts of sexual favors and fabulous prizes.

Well, sort of.


Really, though. I was rather impressed with this batch:

Green was too jumpy for my taste. Cadence-wise, I mean. It didn't quite pack a punch, either. Not a bad piece by any means, just not jumping out at me right now.

Blue I liked. The whole thing works pretty effectively, though the staccato ending could be called into question.

Red, predictably, relied too heavily on wordplay.

Orange was pretty, but didn't seem terribly substantial.

Purple sounds like the opening verse to a song. A good song. I really liked this one, and I'm leaning towards it at the moment.

Pink just didn't suit me. The tone of it and all. Not sure what else to say...

I'm stuck between blue and purple, though orange was nice, too.
Gah.

Purple.
I owe a ton of people critiques.

If you're one of them, please PM me.

I have trouble keeping track.
#5
Gingarrr!!!
There's only one thing we can do to thwart the plot of these albino shape-shifting lizard BITCHES!
#6
Quote by cubs
^ you do realize you could have voted for more than 1 right?


Shhh
I owe a ton of people critiques.

If you're one of them, please PM me.

I have trouble keeping track.